Me? Smile? Ha...

So Jenny lost her keys (which she later found at Taylor) and so I had to pull out my pockets to prove I actually really didn't take them -_- Among the items in my pocket was this bubble blowing ring thing that Andrea gave us on the last ACF Small Group meeting of the term. I dunno. It was kind of funny...I just stared a this little plastic ring. Picturing myself massively blowing it on my last day in London...

I remember, before heading into London, I was chatting in SLC with Herman. He was heading into Montreal and was sharing his worries. I was heading into London and sharing my worries. Even though my reasons for selecting London was probably not all the best...he said that even so, God will make something of it. I kind of just shrugged it off...

Today, I heard something I thought I'd never hear. Apparently I smile all the time. lol. Jon Lin, smiling? Never saw that one coming. I mean, we're talking about the same guy who choose not to smile for my gr 12 school ID cuz I thought that wasn't cool. lol. But then I realized...It's not because of anything I've done that I'm here. It's His presence in ACF that made it all so. Perhaps the closest to all this was when I was in 1B, when I was frosh and got pampered by the grads. It was great. But this is a different type of joy, I guess. And the knowledge that God was able to make my skeptical eyes see so much in the handful (okay...not handful...ACF's larger than CCF...) of people I had the honour of sharing my last 3 month here...

Prayer meeting. It's always a little interesting hearing other people pray for me. I couldn't help but smile when I got handed the task of bringing back ACF to CCF, especially since I went sent out of CCF as a spy to steal ACF secrets. lol. I dunno how much I've actually learned...and how much I can bring back...lol...I suppose, trying not to think of the magnitude of the tasks ahead of me...just enjoying my time here, before I head back into the battle...

Dang. I'll miss this place. I'll miss the people, wherever they go.
Hmm. Sappy. I guess I'd need to get it all out before I start my term reflections...

"The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31.8

Arrogance and Ignorance

So I randomly got called out to bowl. It was spontanously. I got owned hard. Sometime after my first frame I stopped caring. Stupid pride...but began thinking of other stuff instead...

I remember watching this bowling movie once. There was this big shot jock who got assigned to the bowling club, because of some big competition. When he first met the club, he told them he'll easily bowl 100 points, at which he got laughed at (300 is max score in bowling). Arrogant dude got owned good. But it's a kid movie, so of course, the club owned the even more arrogant opponent. Arrogance is bad.

I was woken up by my radio alarm clock today. There was some Christian kid radio show going. Basically had to do with reading the Bible in context. Taking things out of context can be very, very bad. Know the context, even if they look the same as today. Ignorance is bad.

I feel like I only really did two things today. Both of them had some element of these two flaws laced into them. Oyy...it's been a tiring day. Even though I really didn't do anything. I sometimes really wonder...even though I know I should get used to "fire and forget" projects...does it even matter? I dunno...how do other people do it? How do they just keep tanking on? Sigh...

--end random midnight rant--

Loving God?

The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to feat the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness. - Deuteronomy 6.24-25

One question that has been on my mind for a while now is...how do I know that I love God? I suppose, originally, I got sucked into the society's visual definitions. Where love is expressed by hugs and kisses. But several people have pointed out something that I have missed...

To the extent of my understanding of the word, I don't hug the people I feel close to or the people I like. But what are other things? Perhaps...listening to them? Walking with them? Helping them with their tasks? Supporting them in their battles? Tending to their needs? Carrying out their will?

And so, I understand it a little better now. God outlined ten Commandments. I find it hard to believe that was all it takes...but really...isn't the words outlined in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, arint those God's desires for His people? Once you strip away all the stuff made obsolete by Christ's cross, what are we left? Outlines on what to do about God (first 4 Commands). How to treat your neighbours and family. What to do if you ever end up stealing a sheep...or ox...or goat...

So carry out His will, outlined in the Word. Which includes communication (call to prayer and to read the Word), walking (I suppose worship and prayer comes here too), battles and will (Serving, I guess)...

Alright. Don't 'feel' love though? *shrugs*. If one has never been there, how would you know? Oh well...enough will be revealed in time. Till then, just keep walkin on in righteousness.

Community

After meeting with some people, planned and unplanned, I found myself walking by Deli last night. Maybe cuz I was walking with Shelby and she happens to live in that direction. *shrugs* But I did want to find Yun-Ping, so I was like, oh well. PDEng can wait (little do I know, they changed the assignment, but I'll refrain from complaining about PDEng today). So I dropped in on him, and we chatted for a bit.

I think, there's a few things I've learned from last night and from YP and people like Kota in general. I guess, being exposed to the more spiritual side of Christianity is a bit interesting. Haven't seen (or heard, I guess) people speak in tongues or put so much emphasis on the other spiritual gifts until here. I dunno. I used to think YP to be really weird. P&R to be a bit much to handle. Yet there I was, randomly dropping in on him. Wouldn't think of missing P&R. lol.

One of the amusing points during our chat was when Janine dropped in on us. She asked me about getting a Coffeehouse email (which I didn't get, but it was just some thank-you letter, so I said I didn't bake cuz I wanted credit) while getting YP to sign something. Then YP was joking about how I can receive a kiss instead, which I also turned down (lol). So YP was like, okay, you can kiss me instead. Janine laughed and made this barfing motion. I found it all a bit amusing, the interaction between this fourth year and a frosh, but it's what Yun-Ping said after that stuck out: "She is such a blessing" (in reference to her barfing motions). I started laughing, but then...it's true isn't it?

I mean, we've all had times when we're just with old friends...when we can say stupid stupid things and do silly stuff...make mistakes and just be crazy in general...and it's okay. We'd make fun of each other's little quarks, but it's all good. Just sitting around...doing really, nothing in particular. But you can only pull it off with good friends. With people you're comfortable with. You can't be barfing on random strangers, eh?Hmm...another example in recent memory?

It was like, 4am in the morning. Myself, Shirley Yip, Priscilla, Loanne and Justine were working on the Grad Banquet Video...when suddenly this totally random came up on Loanne's laptop. It was "Peanut butter and Jelly"...probably among the more random songs I've heard in recent past. But the funny thing is, Lo and Pris jumped up and started dancing to it...apparently it was from TC. So they were doing random dancing when they realized that UCC actually isn't deserted. There's this guy on second floor who could see them dancing...apparently he's got this "what the..." expression...but after Pris realized the guy was there, she stopped and collapsed laughing. The point of this story being, these people were comfortable enough in our presence to do a random dance, but wasn't when the scope increased. I probably wouldn't be saying random Summit sayings (TOO EASY!) if I wasn't around them either. haaa...

Community truly is a blessing. I think I wrote about this before, but a whiles back, at Men Cell, Jliu was asking us ten things that brings us joy. One of my top ten was definately...just playing video games and screaming stupidity at family friends. Making fun of them just cuz I could. Argue about things that really didn't matter, then laugh it all away. It's all so good. It's all so good. Community truly is a blessing.

Except...community doesn't usually just fall into our laps. We gotta work towards it. Build each other up. Eat together. Study together. Be open and willing to help each other. Exhortation. Etcetcetc I'm sure everyone knows all this. Initive. Patience. A gentle smile and an open ear.

Oh alright. I'll continue with the exhortation campign...Settlers will have to wait till I'm back in Waterloo...gotta watch out for the graduates who are leaving...and push along the froshes who are coming in. And of course, everyone else in between. Cools.

Committee

Over the last few days, a few people have been asking me about how I'm handling Committee and not making it onto the team (thanks guys). As much as I want to say I didn't really care, I can't really. I spent a good two weeks, just thinking about the decision to run. I talked to many people, saught many opinions, then finally decided to just step up, that He will lead me to it if that is the way it should be.

I suppose I am a bit disappointed that the fellowship has deemed that I'm not good enough for this. This thought is combating the very thought that caused me to run in the first place. Did I not run because I'm not capable? Did I not step up in faith, and not in ability? Did I not ask that the doors I am not to step though be shut firmly? And so I did. It's taking a little longer than I thought to get into that "alright, what's plan B?" mentality, but yeah. Need a plan B up and running...whew.

I guess it just means I won't have to be mindful of Committee stuff for a while. I think though, all this Committee stuff got way overshadowed by all the Grad stuff. After attending both UWCCF and LCAC Grad Dinner, it's a little overwhelming, by all the grads leaving...trying to get in those handful of final encouragements before they fly off to HK or Vancouver or TO or whatever. Even grads need a firm foundation...perhaps, even more so for the grads, who won't have this type of community to fall back on.

Of all the songs that could be stuck in my head, it had to be the CCF Theme song, didn't it...oh well. Random patriotism to my fellowship. The communities I've come to love, in what limited way I can understand the word.

http://www.afc-ca.org/ministry/ccf/ccfthemesong.html

Just trying to find the Bibical basis for what I'm about to say next, when an example came to mind. Probably not the best example, but it came to mind first, so I'll use it. XD

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!" "Yes, Lord," he answered.

The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."

"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

- Acts 9.10-16

The mentality to hold isn't Him saying "you're not good enough to serve Me"...it's more "you shouldn't be here right now"...and the fact that He chose to use a guy that was shutting down His people...that He used this guy to start churches and write books and travel and preach in His name...well. That's a pretty good example of Him using anyone, I'd say.