Snapshots

Funny. The first time I can post for the next little while, I'd be whinning about things...I suppose it is good to be home. To be with people I haven't seen for a while. Serving my fellowship as a Committee member. Yet...

It would seem that...over the months that I was on co-op, absorbing the culture of ACF, CCF seems to have gotten...smaller. Less familiar. Sure, many of the same brothers are still around. The relentless hand of graduation hasn't pushed them all to the outside world yet. But...

I suppose, this is just a continuation of the growing up process. Having more and more things to do, with less and less people to confide in. And if it's difficult for me, who's got people watching my back...how much harder is it for others...

I've been reading "Wild at Heart" by ... some guy. Can't seem to find the book right now. But the book basically revolves around men are design and built to fight and get through situations in a pinch. Except for Adam did not stop Eve at the Fall, and instead of us fighting for the ultimate Beauty (God), we're fighting for the next best thing (Daughters of Eve), and thus, being misfocused and misaligned, we get totally GGed. Know what you're fighting for.

Maybe I'm not putting enough effort. But my dream seems so much further away and so much more difficult to attain then when I nursed it back in Winter term...

Maybe it's the whole getting adjusted to things. Maybe it's the additional responsiblities for all the stuff I've gotta do and think about. Maybe it's the heavy academic load. I dunno. Maybe it's just an upper year thing. Stupid second-year blues.

Need to strengthen them foundations. Times like this, there really is only one thing to do...and that's getting back to the basics...

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soula nd with all your mind and with all your strength. - Mark 12.30

Back to campus

And so the term has started. Been busy. Somehow, doing Comm, EE, house stuffs and just trying to keep a hold on people has sucked away all my time. And it's about to get busier ...

I think, I'm simply letting the sheer volume get to me. I'm trying to figure out if that passage I read was a blessing or not...

...do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you... - 1 Samuel 10.7

This happens after Samuel anoints Saul king. The next major interaction between Samuel and Saul after Saul became king is 1 Samuel 13, when Saul gets impatient and performs the sacrifice that Samuel was suppose to. But Samuel never really tells Saul what to do as king. Just...do whatever, cuz God is watching.

I dunno. Given a free hand is more difficult then I first thought it would be. Sigh...too much to do, and I seem to be getting better at wasting time -_-

Maybes

It's May. No idea why I'm remembering that day. Stupid thing...

It's kind of funny to be back in Waterloo. I have no idea what I'm doing. It doesn't feel like lectures are starting tomorrow at all. I feel a bit discoordinated. Wondering where everything is. Where everyone are. I dunno. Maybe it's cuz it's 2.22AM. Maybe I'm just tired. Feeling a little too shaky to be the start of the term...a little too subtle. Maybe it's just a term shift thing.

VPComm

Committee. It took so long to decide to run, through a rough but reflective time, just to be told by the fellowship I didn't get it. Even so, I didn't even have enough time to work through all that before I was told I'm appointed. Communications. Somehow, I got all the reflections, disappointment and excitement (well. I suppose I should be excited. Haa...) of it all.

I dunno. Next term still seems a bit far, even though this time next week, I would be getting ready for my first day of lectures of my 2B term. London, just a memory. All the challenges of school and committee waiting for me. Have alot of mixed feelings. Future is always uncertain. I am always dreaming for more. Maybe more thoughts will come later. Haa...

Last P&R

Sometimes it's good to hear some stuff, even if I know it already. Today, I find myself staring into the P&R scene, not really wanting to join into a group and just chat like we always do. I was just...sitting there and watching. Taking in my last P&R session of the term...maybe ever. It's slowly hitting me that I'm leaving London...but no real insight or reflections today...

Heard a sharing today...heard a few sharings today actually, that I had to give a nod too, because they're all lessons fresh in mind. Fairly tired, but I want to write something down before I forget them all...

I think, the lesson that stood out the most was ... letting God take care of the people...and that even when I'm not around (well...most of the time, even if I AM around, I can't do much)...that He'll be watching over them. I dunno. It's hard to trust...but I've been told that worrying is a useless state of mind. Can't remember why anymore... but yeah...trusting...