Social justice

Social justice is always one of those things that sits in the back of my mind, that I wish I didn't have to think about. Never sure what I should be doing in these circumstances. Would it be best to walk on by? Offer him some change? Offer to get him some food? Give him some attention?

It takes active effort to approach a panhandler and talk to him instead of walking on by like everyone else. I've read the stories. I know some of them are just victims of their circumstances. Still, it takes a lot of effort to remind myself that they're not there because they want to, but because they have to. Still. It's hard not to think of something negative when you see the same guy there, year after year, and the many negative stories I've heard about people's encounters likes to lodge itself in my mind as well.

Snowing in April
It started snowing again here suddenly. After lunch today, I encountered two such people. At first, I thought about walking around (the first guy). Didn't really want to think about it or deal with it. I had a lot of things I gotta deal with. But...

I dropped some money into his hands, "get something warm, alright?" (perhaps would've been better to actually bought something, but oh well, in a rush), and walked by the Subway that he was sitting in front of. 30 seconds later, in front of Williams, I ran into another guy. Well. I guess it's only fair if I forked over some stuff here too. Apparently the church/shelter he was staying at closed when it got warmer, so the sudden cold/snowing was a bad turn for them. "oh...sorry to hear that. hope things work out for you". I remembered this guy. He was telling me about his plans to get back onto his feet, a few years back. But I didn't comment on that. We chatted for a bit. Then I walked quickly to my E5 office, wanting to get out of the cold, wanting to finish my report that's due soon, wanting to just do my duty to the poor and move on.

Reflecting on Elena and Phil's posts, I find myself wondering if I did it more to alleviate my guilty feelings that I know I would get if I just walked on, or if I actually cared about reflecting His glory on this field. Sucks.

Isaiah 6

In my opinion, the most intense calling of an individual happens in Isaiah 6. God mosying around in the Jerusalem temple with a bunch of angels, with special effects everywhere? Atonement, and a possible Trinity reference? Yup. Beats Paul getting knocked off a horse and blinded. Beats Moses talking a tree on fire. Beats Ezekiel...wait. Never mind. You can't really beat Ezekiel...

But yes. The most amusing part is probably verse 8.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
   And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

- Isaiah 6.8

It's not hard to imagine God just looking around, pretending not to see Isaiah, and Isaiah just jumping up and down, waving his hands. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm here, I'm here! Send me!" (Maybe I watch too much anime...). A good reminder for myself that He calls the willing, and equips them to become the ready, just like what He did here for Isaiah.

CCF Sharing Night (W11)

Once again, the minutes of the recent sharing night is here. I will note that my minutes were more designed for people who were at sharing night itself, and so I made it more concise, more to remind people who were there. I stuck it in Google Docs this time because there were co-op people who wanted to be in the loop. So they were listening via laptop mic and reading the minutes at the same time. Haha. I first originally started taking minutes to loop co-op people in as well, so it's kind of nice to go back to that tradition.

• Link to the W11 minutes are here. It was assembled by myself (first half of the night), Jorge (second half of the night) and Josh Kung (random comments). Lasts until 4AM.
• For those of you who want more conclusive minutes, James' set is more detailed, found here. Lats until 1AM.

If you notice quality of minutes dropping off, I will point to the fact we ended at 4am, and are getting seriously old and starts losing focus earlier and earlier at night. =P

God makes it grow

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn as a serving Christian is that results will usually not come immediately. In WKTRM1/2A, a group of us, having benefited greatly from the fellowship, decided to take on Frosh Cell. Not really knowing what to do, 4 of us 2A'ers (Josh, Vanessa, Kevin, myself), as well as one upperyear (Betty), signed up to lead Frosh Cell and related events.

New Student Reception
I remember talking to my upperyear corespondent (Connie) for NSR, and she asked me what my overall vision for NSR was. I replied that, if even one person who didn't know about fellowship, walked by and stuck around for NSR, and came to fellowship because of that, it would've been worth the effort. I'll never know if anyone came to CCF because of NSR.

Frosh Cell
I think this is the question that all of us were asking ourselves at the end of the term. Did we make an impact? Were we helpful in making the fellowship more welcoming? How much of them learned and grow and had fun under our planning and programs?

I remember, when hearing that people of that year stopped attending fellowship (2nd year retainment ratio: 30%), or got into situations, we'd be asking ourselves if there was more we could've done. If we could've talked to them more. If there was some hint we overlooked. If we could've tried harder.

I remember seeing one of them later on and asking him why he doesn't attend fellowship anymore, and got a nasty respond. I remember telling myself that we can't be everything to everyone. I remember being shocked when I saw him again in fellowship, a few years later. God is working.

Graduation Dinner
Yet despite all the drama and situation. All the uncertainty and struggles. I realized that grad dinner was an encouragement to us alums as well. Knowing that the time we've poured into the "kids" has been used by God to grow them. One of the few times that God is gracious to show the fruits of our labour. I wonder if this is how my own upperyears felt when we made it too.

What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe - as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

- 1 Corinthians 3.5-7

Congrats, 2011 grads.

Survival

Throughout undergrad, I found myself wondering if I'll survive. Make it through the tough hours and confusing math. Pass through school without getting getting owned. Not aiming for stellar marks, or anything. Get by, so I can do the stuff that comes a bit easier. Survival and desperation was always in the air. Engineering was hard.

We celebrated when we survived PHYS115. MATH212. ECE433. ECE370. ECE471. When we passed PDEng. When we got our Iron Ring.

Over the grad dinner weekend, I talked a bit with my peers. People who has been working for a year now. Shared stories of what we've learned. The difference between work and school. Long work hours. Difficult assignments. Tough deadlines. Reading through Proverbs, it's filled with verses like Prov 6.10. And we often forget that we were pulled through before.

I remember getting annoyed before. When we were in first year, they told us first year is the hardest. When we were in 3rd year, they said 3rd year is the hardest. When we were in fourth year, they said FYDP is the hardest. It never gets easier. It wasn't suppose to get easier.

But I think grad school (and FT work) is hard because you chose it. We chose to do grad school. We chose to work at Sandvine, or Deliotte, or Petro Canada. We chose Bell or Hydro One or Microsoft. Of course it's hard. We've never seen this stuff before. We've never applied these concepts in these ways before. But I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given... (Luke 19 - Parable of the Talent). We've received much. And more to come.

We're given much because He believes we can handle much. For those of you discouraged, press on.