Day one of summer cramming

So today starts the oh-so-fun cycle of cramming. Wasn't extremely motivated. Got stuck at a few times. It's 2.45AM in the morning and I'm shoving ice cream into myself and reading random people's blogs. Laughed at a few. I guess I feel enoughly encouraged by Enoch's stuff to do a bit of sharing on God's hand in my life today.

So I was sitting in SLC, my wireless typically being it's stupid self and not working properly (gave up after 20 min of trying). I borrowed a friend's laptop to check my email and to see who's online so I can ask questions. Then I saw this person online and was like, hey sweet, I haven't talked to this person in a while. I can totally mulitask and study while being distracted by MSN at the same time. So I returned to my desk and tried wireless again, while thinking oh God, how often would I get to randomly chat with friends during the next 2.5 weeks? Just let me get online...and it worked. I was like, PTL (lol. My wireless card works so rarely on campus that it probably was an act of God -_-)! I logged on. The person was gone. Within a span of 2 minutes. God. You have an interesting sense of humour, in Your very own omnipotent way. Well. I guess I was suppose to focus on my studies today.

So it was a rather random story. But it helps to keep things real. God is with me as I study, just as He is with me as I am in CCF or at church. Just cuz I don't necessary feel Him there doesn't mean He's not.

Oh. And be specific in your prayers. Technically, I did get my wish and got online. -_-

CCF Term End Sharing

Last night was CCF sharing night. I never really did like sharing much. Especially before big crowds. Yet I always end up doing it. Before Sr Rock in high school, when I was asked to talk. Before the 90 froshes of NSR. And almost each term I have been in CCF, I've said something.

I think, it's funny cuz what I shared about is mostly from London, and the wide range of experiences I recieved from there. Perhaps, none of what I got was more impacting than...

"What is given to you is not for you. But for me. And everyone else."

Anyone who attends P&R would recognize Roger's opener. Indeed...as a seed sower, I would never know if what I do, the words I utter, the actions I perform, the roads I walk...I would never know if it is worth any or not. I would never know if Frosh Cell 2006 was good in bringing the froshes together. I would never know if NSR 2006 brought even one hesitant frosh to fellowship. I would never know if my random baking runs at ACF or even the time I spend in my living room, waiting for my housemates to get ready so that we can walk off to class together...

How could I know the impact of my hands, if not from God Himself? I too am among the people who are wondering...God? Are you seeing the things I'm doing? Is it...pleasing to You?

I was once told that no one has a boring testimony. When I first heard that, I laughed. For when I assess my life, I believed I didn't have much. *shrugs* the people around me seemed to be so on fire...or so pwnage at what they do. I'm just an ordinary guy. I sit here and complain about how much better everything can be, only simply cuz I can...cuz when I really sit down to assess what I do have...I've already been blessed more than I can count.

Imagine my surprise when a frosh at CCF mentioned (who doesn't even attend Waterloo...she's a Western kid who's home for the term) that she's in fellowship cuz of my influence. Apparently I asked her if she wanted to go to CC and she said she'll think about it. The only real thing I did was follow up on that and made sure that CC has her registered (ahh connections lol). That was it. Yet...she was able to attribute her particpation in UWCCF because of her going to CC, because she was curious at what fellowship was like and wanted to see what we were about with her own eyes...and now she'll return to UWO ACF with that, a member of the fellowship.

I remember she was saying about how funny it is that she, a non UW student, is integrated into UWCCF, while not at UWO ACF yet. I almost started laughing...for isn't that where I was in January? Walking hesitantly into a fellowship that's even bigger than CCF...while thinking, oh crap. I'm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people I don't know.

But I'd say it turned out okay. And all this happened cuz a Western student told me about UWO ACF, and I wanted to see this fellowship that she loves with my own eyes...lol. Sounds kind of like that kid with CC, no?

You want to know why I pray...or do the random things I do...or talk to the people I do? It's to give God chances to work. Cuz seriously, He's God. He doesn't need some 2nd year university student. But He chooses to, and so I gotta raise to the occasion.

Stray

I think, there has been alot of things happening lately. Not really to me, but everyone feels the weight of it all nevertheless. Friends' parents falling ill. Car accidents. Biking accidents. Difficult relationship times. Lack of motivation. Stuff. I dunno. Has it always been like this, and I'm just older now, and more able to understand?

Completely lost for words. Times just seem to be difficult in general. Alot of thoughts. Not enough organization.

Sometimes, it's probably easiest to just lock yourself in a room, away from all this. But when the people close to you cry out, what can you say? You have to walk with them...because they would do the same. I know that.


If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

- Ecclesiastes 4

I'm for you by Tobymac

I could claim it's unfair. But what is fairness, if not decided by God? And who can climb the mountain of the Lord (Psalms24)? Not I...

Anyways. Heard this the other day, on Herman's computer. It's been playing in the back of my mind since...

I'm for you
Tobymac

Tell me where its hurting
Are you burning?
Running just to catch your breath
And going nowhere
It's getting old when you feel like you got nothing left
Well it ain't over 'til it's over
I told you since the day we met
So let me be the voice through all the noise
Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you

Whatever you need from me
To see you through
Everyone of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled
We hit the ground and our lives crumble

Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you
I'm for you, If you never knew
If you never knew, I'm for you
You know it's true

I know the feeling
I know it's real when the drama's all in your face
You see a mountain
I hear a promise - it's never more than we can take
Well it ain't over, 'til it's over
We can learn from our mistakes
So let me be the voice through all the noise


Everyone of us will fall
Have our backs against the wall
And everyone shares a need to be loved
You've always been for me
So I will be for you
That's just what it means to love

Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you
Everytime you fall, I'll be for you,
If you back's against the wall, I'll be for you,
Cause you've always been for me, I'll be for you,
I'll be for you, I'm for you.
If you never knew, If you never knew,
I'm for you.

Pouring

Manga is good. I enjoy reading manga. lol. Nothing like good comics to relax...or take mind off things...or to submerge yourself in a different environment. Whenever we talk about anime, I'd typically drop a few titles that are among my favourites. When someone looks at me and ask me how a particular one is...my first reaction typically is...

WHAT?! You haven't read FMA yet?! You want it?

lol. I suppose that's how some people are with music. Oh hey, I like that song. Yeah? I'll send it to you.

Why do we do that? Why is our first reaction to someone who hasn't been exposed to a really really good manga...or really cool songs...or funny YouTube videos...etc...why do we want to share it?

Deep down, we want to share our joys. I am blessed by good manga. Thus I share it, because I want others to be blessed by good manga. Someone was blessed with a good song. Thus he sends it to me when I requested it, because he wants me to be blessed with this good song too.

What about God? What about fellowship?

I was look at Acts 2 earlier...at the first fellowship again. There is nothing about evangalism there. Nothing. The only indication that they grew was...was that the Lord added to their numbers daily.

I was reading this one article about how...God will pour abundently into your cup. But until it is full. Once it is full...you gotta empty your cup before He'll pour more into it.

What if...we poured so much onto the fellowship that people can't help but to want to share it? They're blessed so much...

Haa. It's 3.20am. Thoughts arin't coming easily anymore. Just another idea, I guess.