Summary

I have realized...it's not with what reality is that makes it so attractive, but the dream and the imagination of what it could be, to the point that I am dreaming and chasing after something that isn't real, because I have already extrolated what is, to what it could be. Is there merit in chasing what doesn't exist, in hopes that it will exist one day?

Today, I'm a little older than 20 years old. If I asked myself, how long is 20 years? I would have to say it's a long time. Because that's all I've experienced. But when I'm 40...would I say the same? I've lived twice that. I've seen twice as much. Could I easily toss 20 years away as if it never happened?

Sometimes, the easiest thing we can do is run. Run from our problems. From other people. From ourselves. From Him. It's easy to do that and say...I'm waiting for something. Something to come along and...chance something else. Hope in something out of your control. Because than you can blame that unknown thing for your current state...for your lack of knowledge. Lack of stamina. Lack of strength. Lack of spiritualty...

We fight the hardest for something if we believe in it the most. Why would anyone spend time and effort towards something they don't care about? But I understand why you're turning away, because I was the exact same way...if I was hearing myself, I would've said the same thing. But how can I make you understand...

It's possible to walk just far enough from the wall to make you forget those chains locking you there. You get used to weight after a while. Eventually you turn around and walk back to where you started, believing you're somewhere else, but you're back here again...that's when you're asking...is it possible to erase these paintings on the way, sometime that you can't hope at scrubbing off yourself, with your heavy chains...

But don't worry. I'm still here. You might not think so, but I'm just here, waiting for you, watching over you. How would you know that? Because I promised...