Restless

It's 3pm. I have around 10 hours to learn a course and review alot of another. By all logic, I should be starting right now. Instead, I seem to be thinking about today's occurances...

I think, maybe it's because I'm still a student, and haven't really left school (I have to constantly remind myself that I am indeed 20, not 17 -_-) and so really still see myself as a kid. With that premise, it always surprises me when adults treat me like an equal. These people definitely have my respects, and Pastor Tim Wai is one of them. I'm gonna assume anyone who's still reading this place is somewhat familiar with KWCAC and recent events...

I think...life goes on. KWCAC will survive (though...I'm not totally sure about the English congregation -_-). I'm asking the same questions that everyone else are. Why is there this need for such politics? No, this isn't a rant about this overly-discussed issue. This is more a rant on...

I was up till late last night, talking to a friend. Perhaps it was random venting, but during discussion, we touched briefly on the concept of "God's love"...and weither or not it is indeed His love that we show in our lives, especially now, in the face of difficulties and choices. My mind turned to the various different times this type of discussion came up...most recently, in Victor's blog, as things around us take us out of where we want to be into where we feel we have to be. The only thing I can think of is...God interacts with people differently, thus His love would be manifested differently in each of us? It's funny. Once in a while, I sit down a compile a Todo list, checking them off one by one. Once in a while, serving becomes just like that, things I need to do. After Retreat, I was asked why I think so much (I don't think that much, I don't think...)...my reply was, because if I don't do it, who will? And so, people like myself are constantly standing on the line between really wanting to do it, and doing it because no one else would step up. Yes, I know the arguments. I've had people tell me to never serve to solely fill a need. I've heard it countless times. But sometimes...practicality and faith doesn't quite align (I've had someone tell me I'm not very practical, when it comes to "seed sowing" related activities...I was like wow -_- if practicality had anything to do with seed-sowing, I'd be the reaper instead of the sower -_-)...people need to step up. If no one does, things don't happen. That's just how it is. CCF numbers are as strong as ever, yet we're just getting smaller and smaller...

I dunno. I don't really have an answer. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm just restless and wanted to type. Some stray thoughts in the middle of the afternoon of just another day.