A spoon of thoughts

"You know what I think? I am just desperate for love.
But hey, I am still hanging there."

"I think I might be going through symptoms of depression."

"I'm getting sad for no good reason"

"Mmm...I don't really have friends"

"There are people who are just...sad and lonely. I've talked to them...what are we doing about it?"

"hahha.. so?? doens't mean i'm not still lonely!"

A handful of words from people over the last little while. Maybe I took your words. Or maybe these words echos with you. I remember a while ago, I was talking to a psych major and she was telling me how she's super interested in atypical disorders (ie things like schiz). I laughed. It doesn't take too much effort to realize that we're surrounded by atypical disorders. I have friends who suffer from depression. Or anxiety. I have friends who are physically ill due to chronic stress. Lonelyness. All these things seems to be so common among the people I've talked to. I've written about this before...

Anyone notice that we, as CCF, tends to focus on the froshes (cuz they're new and don't know any better) or grads (cuz they're leaving and we lament the loss of their labour... =P)? Yes, I realize that we can't reach everyone. I think this was one of the most annoying points at CC. Yes, I know what I'm called to do. I get annoyed at the people who say we have an awesome community. Don't get me wrong, I think CCF is great. Especially when you're frosh and is always at the centre of attention. Especially when you're second year and everyone's encouraging (or "strongly encourage") you to serve. But I'd like the suggest that our community is actually rather...poor. People are constantly assuming that other people are okay. When they're not, they think the best thing to do is to hide it, cuz weakness arin't cool. So they truck on. Committee people do that. Cell group leaders do that. Your average CCF attendee does that.

I'm thinking especially of our "leaders" right now...they fall through the cracks pretty hard. And they deal with it by pushing themselves harder. We need this fill. We need people to do that. Etc. Etc. Etc. For some, life and ministry becomes an endless series of filling in the blank. "Hi, I am ____"...whatever they need to be today. Because it feels pointless sometimes, the degree we have to work to get the stuff we need to push though. CCF's issue has always been lack of manpower. How to get more of the younger years involved? How to get them to discard their spoonfeeding mentality?

I recently got a new cell phone. My first hardware upgrade over the last three years. I was surprised at the wide assortment is out there these days...when I got my Samsung flip phone, it was pretty much the only free phone there. Now, I had a choice of 4, 5 free ones...with a few more that only costs me $5. The lady that I spoke with was telling me how I'll eligible for an upgrade every year. Now why would anyone need a new phone on a yearly basis?! I ended up going for the Sony Ericson W580. Apparently it is the generic phone these days. I heard that it has key cracking issues. Figures. The only reason I'm changing out of my Samsung is because the receptor (the only piece that sticks out) is going to snap off one day. I've been pressing those keys for 3 years and never a key cracking issues. I heard that electronic companies makes things less duriable these days so people needs to be consistantly upgrade and getting the latest and greatest. Consumerism at its best, I suppose. (okok. The point is that consumerism -> "Spoonfeed me" mentality...talks about our increasing spoonfeed mentality has been around since my frosh year. Regarding specifically about lack of leadership among the lower years...but I suppose it applies to people lacking support and not seeking for them because it "should" be given to them).

Once again, to really make any progress, one must change hearts. But there's really only One that can do that around here...