Little, big things

Some time ago, I decided to embark on a campaign. "How little I know," I said, as I flipped to Genesis 1, "so I must read." And so I decided to read through the Bible, 3 chapters a day. It would take roughly 1.5 years to get through, but it's only 3 chapter a day. And I realized that, over the next 8 month, as I went from dedicating large amounts of time to reading and asking questions and looking up commentaries...to just reading and looking at commentaries...to just reading...to eventually, stopping reading all together, as life got more and more busy. As school and assignments and labs got to me. As work left me too exhausted after work to do anything but chillaxe and TV.

As I said, "God. I'm doing your work. I'm serving here. I'm tending to Your people. Surely it is enough..."and never really thinking about when I put down the Word and picked up the latest serving task, all in the name of God, that I have put down something far more important than the things I picked up afterwards.

And so as I lamented against the spiritual immaturity of the people around, bashing the Bible study leaders for not having prepared sufficiently, or how people would rather have fun at fellowship than talk about something serious...all while ignoring that sense of hypocrisy rising...

It's funny, how I had no idea that the sense of reservations I've had when I took up the biggest CCF serving position I've done to date and my reluctance to pray, hidden behind my knowledge of the Sciences, of Psychology. Of the Bible and its contents. That blinded by my self-righteousness and pride, held back by thoughts of constantly fighting in His name, that I've left behind the Book that gave any of this meaning...and thus the God that saves, any meaning.

Today, I was reminded all these lessons. I don't find cooking all that interesting, so I listen to music while I scramble the eggs and fried the noodles. Once in a while, I'd replace that with a nice dose of Ravi Zacharias. In the sermon I was listening to, he said that he'd have no problem studying the Bible everyday (4 chapter a day!), no problem serving. No problem doing the things he needs to do, except for praying. And that setting time apart for prayer to God was the most difficult thing he does in a day (cuz prayer is powerful, so of course the enemy wants to distrupt it). Well, that make sense. In prayer, you have to slow down. You have to stand against the rush and busy day. I guess even Ravi Zacharias is affected by our "rush rush" society. You're missing the point...what? I am?

And that's when Ravi drove the point home. He cited this passage as his case point example (Yes, I'm totally taking the wrong points out of his sermon, but that's okay). Gehazi had a front-row seat to Elisha's miracles. He should know right from wrong. Yet he took what wasn't his and he lied about it. He should've known better. If someone so close to all these things could screw up...if a man as knowledgable in Christianity as Ravi Zacharias need to constantly read and pray...how much more an ignorant one like myself? Elsewhere in the sermon, Ravi mentioned that...unless your own personal devotions are well, you would not be able to raise your family to be well either. Dang.

It's kind of funny. I used to be on the recieiving end of talks like this. Now I'm on the delievering end. I've only begun to ponder the possibility that...when I was listening to speeches like this, perhaps the deliverer isn't really some super Christian who's got it all covered and is walking awesomely...but someone like me now, having to be reminded over and over again, to not stray and wonder what would Jesus do...but actually pray to Him and ask Him what He would do.

Haha. Yesterday, I was chatting with Tim Li. There is this character in the Bible, a phophet named Nathan. King David's loudest voice of conscience. Do you know why Solomon fell? The wisest man in history, such that his name became synomonous with wisdom...you'd think that he would be awesome. He fell because he had no Nathan, to remind him of all these things. The big...and the small.