Taking heart

Take heart, young one.

The quote was probably taken from somewhere else, but I first heard it from Carine Bloodhoof, a character from Warcraft III and has been ringing in my mind over the last few days. In some ways, the last few days has seen some of the quickest major decision-making I've ever had to make. But if all goes well, I will be in Waterloo for another year (at least =P), as a Masters student under ECE.

It's funny, how I've spent the entire term, searching for a job. I've had a few interviews, each with biomedical companies or hosptials. Although I've worked at all the right places, I quickly realized that my co-ops hasn't been providing me with alot of engineering-related knowledge. As such, I became aware of the gap between myself and my classmates, many of them whom have worked as engineering consultants, hardware specialists, software designers, project management, etc... at some point during the term, I found myself wondering why I'm still doing this. Do I really want to do research? Do I still want to do biomedical engineering? Maybe I was wrong...just a silly high school dream, that I'd be able to build tools for doctors. That I'd be able to contribute towards patient wellbeing. That I'd be a healer one day.

So I began to look elsewhere too. Management consulting. Hardware design. Control systems. Eventually...as the term started to wind down...software design. Database management. Technical support. Quality Assurance. Yet the only interviews I've ever gotten was two biomedical firms, and one hosptial.

Then, as project deadlines approached, I began to focus on those. Three week straight of FYD. A few more days for 438. Wasn't too atypical to get home at 3, 4am. But that's what student life is like sometimes. Just gotta get it done. Last friday, we demo'ed our FYD project. A posture detection system that we hacked together and somehow worked. I slept the weekend away...

On Monday, a new job posting went up. A UW prof wanted a student to build a lower body postural detection system. Mildly amused, I applied. 48 hours later, I was asked if I wanted to do a Masters degree. Because of the way Jobmine worked, I had 24 hours to decide. Hurray for technology as I scrambled to consult people from Waterloo. Toronto. Montreal. Calgary. New Jersey. Taiwan. ...

I think, it's a bit humbling to think about how it all played out. I applied for the position Monday morning. On Tuesday, I had an interview as a business analyst in Calgary. Knowing that if I get offered, I'm locked in, I prayed for direction.

Okay God. I don't know if I want to do this biomed stuff anymore. Research...maybe it's not for me after all. If I go back to Calgary...I'm quitting. I'll go back and do conventional engineering. Controls. Circuits. Consulting. Something. Research...You should save that for someone who's a bit more capable than I am.

8pm Tuesday. I was ranked.
10am Wednesday. I didn't get matched.
3pm Wednesday. I was offered a Masters student position.
3.30pm Thursday. I got officially pulled from Jobmine, to take this position.

As I sit here, fretting about housing...or the high average I need to maintain...or about not being smart enough to handle research...or the fact that I have so little control over things like this...I kept on thinking about my first co-op term, when I was placed in Stratford. How I didn't get my job until just a few days before finals began. Of how I realized that employment is really an act of God. I find myself thinking about that event all term...I guess this is why. I'm really...once again, reminded that He's got me covered. Even though all my despair. That I'm not forgotten. I guess I'm doing biomed after all. Not only did my short term concerns been met (lack of co-op job), but a bit of my long term ones too (some direction post-grad). Things just came together.

Yesterday, someone messaged me and asked about my tag, which was Carine's line that I opened this post with. "Who are you talking about?" I laughed. "Myself." As a fourth year student, I guess I'm among the older ones on campus. But compare to my Guide, 22 years is nothing.

Take heart, young one.