It's kind of funny, because I realize how stuck I am at the moment. Over the summer term, I'd drop random messages to grads I talk with, to see how they're doing...warning them AGAINST such things. PAFEL. That feeling you get when you're just going to work cuz you have to. When you get home, you really don't want to be doing anything but veg out in front of the TV (or playstation, in my case XD). When any other day at UW, I'd be doing homework (or at least trying to...), reading over some material I need for CCF, random chatting (okay I still do that alot), and generally more "on-the-ball". Strangely, now that I'm at home, and don't have to take care of my own food and laundry...when I have access to a car and relatively little amounts of school work to handle...I should be having TONS of time to do stuff. But it doesn't feel like that...
So I suppose this is what the graduates felt like when they returned to their respective "homes". Without the urgency of school...or CCF always in need of people to do things and whatnot (I'm sitting here in Calgary and I've already gotten so much "request to serve" that it feels like I'm in Waterloo sometimes -_-)...always tired from work and no sense of urgency. Way too easy to give into the urge and just slack off, until the next day rolls around. No wonder it feels so hard.
But supposedly this is an isolated UW thing. Because everyone else has "summers" and so experience this regularly. And so my first "summer" was much more difficult than I thought, after 6 terms of high fellowship exposures. More difficult, not as in things to handle...but just focusing on devos. Participating in ministries. Praying. Reading. Doing the type of stuff I'd normally do in Waterloo, but not so much here because I'm not putting the effort into it.
I think, Calgary is very different from London as well. I can't say Robarts was not intensive work, but...just having pray meetings and men cells to attend. Being so close to everything, locations like Taylor Library or the UCC, somewhere I need walk by everyday to and from work...makes it so easy to connect with people that are consistently trying to drag me out to ACF-ly events (a certain ACF event comes to mind...)...gives things for me to look forward to, I guess, for someone who don't tend to go out to seek for things. In a place where everyone has the comfort of "home", why would they run over to Summit...or stay overnight at the UCC...
lol. I now understand what it feels like to be a grad. Minus all the "oh no I'm getting old what should I do with myself" stuff. But I suppose I'd be there soon enough. It's gotten better, but there's still a ways to go before I'm at "ACF" level. lol. Funny how this post is coming just 4 hours before my first fellowship back at home. The "home church" fellowship. I wonder how much grads would laugh when they read this...
I suppose, it's one thing knowing the promises of the Word. I've read Joshua. I know exactly that He has said...
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
- Joshua 1.9 (NIV)
It means a little more when you're not at a place where you can feel His presence, like my UWCCF or UWOACF...and yet a little less, because of the same reason. But His promise is His promise. We all know that. It just means I gotta try a bit more harder to stick His words somewhere I'll keep them in mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment