Snow in Calgary...

My name is Jonathan. I'm in 3rd year, Engineering.

Suddenly remember the introductions we made back at the start of the term, at fellowship. That is what I would've said, if I was at CCF...or ACF or whatever. However much difficulty we're subjected to, however much I tell people I feel no urge to advertise for my school, being a student is just so ingrained into my life right now. It feels odd to just go around the circle and just saying your name. How are we able to make a connection with just a name?

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This body is my house - it is not I.
In triumphant faith, I live and die.

While on break, I went strolling the other day and ended up at the Cancer Centre. I wandered into the library, where a Chicken Soup book caught my eye. Well, reading other people's stories is a form of listening, right? With the people who had recently suffered cancer loses in mind, I started reading. I don't think I really got much out of it, I suppose it was meant to be emotional and it was a little too late in the day to be emotional. But I did come across that quote, which stood out for some reason. For someone who gets sick easily, I guess it's good to be reminded that this form here really isn't mine, but just another asset granted to me...

-- -

No, that wasn't what I did...

So I asked someone about a particular ill-informed (read: stupid) decision he made a few weeks back. When I heard about it, I thought it was stupid. All members involved thought it was stupid. He pretty much got everyone involved mad, so I just wanted to know what he was thinking.

Not much, apparently. His version of the story was totally different, and he was convinced he didn't do anything wrong. I remember getting annoyed at my PDEng A2 because the marker, who obviously understood my paper, which was really straightforward, yet pointed out random bits like "what argument?" and "what research", when I was referring to it in the sentence above and below. He said that just because it may be obvious to you (the writer), doesn't mean the readers will understand it the same way. I guess my marker's point was totally proven here. lol. I learned something from PDEng. What do you know...

Frustrating? Yes, very. We're both stuck thinking the way we do and assuming that everyone else thinks the same, not for a moment considering that people might be different, just because the majority of the people we hang out with happen to think the same way *cough* CCF *cough*... ... ... =P

- --

At Fuji, it is standard culture to greet someone on the streets as you walk pass them. When you are done and walk back the way you came, it is expected that you greet them again...it was a bit annoying at first, but they understood something that us New Yorkers ignored: that you can't walk pass someone without sharing something with that person, even if only for a moment. It's that human connection...

Read that in an article another day. I guess I was reminded of this when I had to go pick up a package from the post office last night. The person behind the counter wasn't looking too happy, I guess the current customer was a bit difficult. Feeling tired, I just wanted to get my package and go...but once it's my turn to come up to the counter, the lady smiled at me. Sigh...I don't feel like being cheerful...but I realized that on reflex, I've already returned the gesture. I was once told that smiling releases certain endorphins, so I was able to keep the tiredness out of my voice, and made the visit slightly more pleasant than what it could've been. Not bad for a 3 second smile, no?

- - -

Choose your destiny...

So I copied a few songs with me so I don't go crazy at work...you can only tolerate hitting "play" on YouTube videos for so long. One of these songs is the theme songs to Mortal Kombat. So anyways. The people who've actually played MK would recognize the announcer saying that when you're selecting your character. Which leads me to wonder...those inspirational says (like carpe diem) implies that one can control your own destiny. How does that clash with the Christian idea? lol...wonder where I can find some good solid stuff on predestination...it's an issue I never figured out -_-

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Estrogen saves. Testosterone kills.

lol. I heard that in lecture the other day. It'll make more sense if you knew the physiological functionalities of estrogen (in women) and testosterone (in men). A little bit of amusement, for those of you who's taken Physiology. In a one sentence summary...estrogen protects nerve cells in women, whereas testosterone encourages aggression in men.

So when I'm paniking about my Chocobo getting owned by a farmer, that's totally the testosterone talking, not the nerdy gamer who's eagerly counting down to the day SC2 is getting released. Haaa...

-- -

...i dunno...i'm just...weird

lol. Sounds familiar? I'm finding that many of the people just stop right there. They say, "oh it's own my fault, somehow or another" and just leave it at that. Cuz thinking is hard. You run around in circles, get nowhere, and wondered why you wasted all that time thinking. You can't get an answer, so you give up, and just blame yourself for whatever. Sometimes...the answers just arint there. I agree it'd be pretty sweet to have uber wisdom...but...that's just a little too out of reach for most of us. Keep at it. Them sudden inspirations and breakthrough moments are pretty cool. lol.

I once had someone tell me, "I want to learn how to think better" (as if I could've provided a lecture -_-). lol. I think this person was a bit annoyed because I would attack her preassumptions about things, and having nothing to say back to me when I ask her the basis of what she thinks. Preassumptions about various people around. About school, career and the future. About the church. Even about ourselves and how we see ourselves. I suppose, when I do stuff like that, it sounds like I've got answers. I don't. I'm simply following up on a lesson I've learned from World History, back in high school. Question your preassumptions. Why do you think the things you do? Why do you think the way you do?... Sorry kid. I've got no answers for you. I can't tell you what courses to take and how they'll impact you. I can't convince you to take this or that career path. But I certainly can't tell you to keep believing the baseless assumptions you've adopted...I can only tell you what I, myself, thinks (however right or wrong they may be...I have people provoking me too. It's how we grow). I can't tell you what to think.

I was once told that I shouldn't tear down someone's point of views without suggesting something better in the first place. So if I got nothing better to suggest, don't say it. That's fine, I can accept that. But if something is totally illogical and baseless, even if you don't have the "correct" answer, isn't it better to point out that they've got the "wrong" answer instead of letting them be?

lol. Antonuk would be proud.