On co-op, life and fourth-year effects

I suppose myself, like many others in my age bracket, are struggling with the questions of...'What am I going to do with the rest of my life?' Jobmine opened this weekend, and as I lazily scrolled through the 501 ECE jobs listed...many of them for Software. Some IT. A few power jobs. Nothing really stood out. I think, if I wasn't looking for a job for my WKTRM6, I wouldn't be as picky.

I remember, when I was in grade 12, applying for university, I was told that half of the people in my year will eventually change their program. That people often go into university not knowing what they want...and they leave university, not knowing what they want. I felt miles ahead of the crowd, with my firm conviction to do biomedical, a general desire to build tools that doctors will use one day to help diagnose patients easier. Save lives. Who wouldn't want to leave behind a big-shot device like the MR imager or pacemakers? What they don't tell you is...how long it'd actually take for you to get something out there. 7 years to perfect a single MR coil. 7 years spent testing a wire. Wow. Times like this, I forget that I was once convinced that biomed was my career calling. I find myself entertaining thoughts of dropping into normal electrical streams, play with things like Controls. Though, manufacturing has been on a downturn these days...

I think, as I spent the last 4 terms in medical research labs...you realize how little you actually learn in school. How much more there is to learn. How little we're exposed to in our cement windowless rooms, endlessly copying equations. I'm taking my 4th circuits course right now (ECE 100, 241, 332 and now 438, for you 'loo elecs that read this), and I think I'm finally starting to get circuits. Maybe.

I noted earlier today, as I scroll though job descriptions (and laughing at how complicated they're trying make an easy job sound), I still remember how idealistic people like myself walked into university were. Someone was asking me about medical research this weekend. I told them that they should be ready to spend ~10 years, researching and refining a single product. Now that I think about it, I probably would've been better off if I just opt'ed for general jobs and apply them to biomed later on, instead of attempting to spend all my time in biomed already, for co-op. Oh well.

Connie: yeah
all these hard decisions when you graduate
welcome to the real world
enjoy your last yr in school

Fourth year effect is kicking in at full swing. Can't really put off thinking about life anymore. You would think that, as one grows older, he gets a better idea of what he wants to do. I think the last 4 years did just the opposite. Is there actually such a job that you'd want to wake up nice and early and be eager to head into the office for? I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that, while a plan sounds really good on paper, with all the ideal assumptions and whatnot...but the unidealness of life does much to cross things out.

Sometimes, I kind of feel like a kid, being shoved into the real world soon. I certainly don't feel like an adult. But I guess 21 (-> 22 soon, haha) years of existence makes me as adult as the next guy. Thinking about real-life things like financial future, job security, where to live for the next 5, 10, 15 years...all a little too much sometimes. I wonder how much more difficult life would be if I didn't have any sense of security that I get attention from Him?