Even with a role that's simple like listening...perhaps it's because it's so simple that we forget it. Why we weld our swords. Why we serve. why we listen. The second it changes from God God God to I I I, we know we got a problem. And so that brings that life-long struggle against pride.
I think, another thing is saying things for the sake of sounding more...Christian. One day, I'll be standing before Him. Will be made accountable for every word said, every action done. Don't be misunderstood. Intentions are important.
If the people that I was talking to today ever read this, I apologize for my choices of words. I meant well, but in the spur of the moment, the thoughts get lost in that struggle against pride...and it becomes counting on me and I...instead of counting on me and God. I'm just a representitive. Yes, I'm listening. But that's not really the point. The point is...God is also listening. He's always listening.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Nehemiah
Once in a while, you just gotta sit back and take things in retrospect...or from someone else's point of view. It's surprising how different of a view I get sometimes if I even tried.
I dunno. Alot of thoughts. Not alot of words. Waiting for my rice to cook. Staring at my calc textbook, not really wanting to start. Lab books piled on a corner of my desk. Laundry that needs to be done. Skates that I wanted to clean. People to meet up with. Projects to plan.
Is it surprising that people get overwhelmed?
There really isn't much I can say right now that isn't just a reycled component of my previous thoughts. Sometimes we just gotta keep tanking along, cuz our pieces of the puzzles just isn't big enough for us to do anything else.
I just finished Nehemiah. And I was reflecting on all the times in the OT when people stated that the Lord will fight for us. Moses said it. David said it. I'm sure there's more. Nehemiah said it.
...I stood up and said to the nobles, the officals and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."
..."The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us."
A mix of active dependence and self-action for Nehemiah's squad. A nice, healthy mix. We lose track of that sometimes.
I just pray that you would be able to meet with God today. Walk out as much as you can, as much as you normally do. Then look for God in everything. And pray that He'll meet you there. But He won't be in the great and powerful wind that shatters rocks. Nor in the earthquakes. Or a great fire. But in a gentle whisper.
Go call up someone you love and hold dear. Just tell them what they mean to you. You never know. Maybe at that very moment, there is nothing more that person needs than a few words of heartfelt encouragement and thankfulness, and a quiet gentle prayer to the Lord our God. Mixing depedence with action. Remember the Lord...and fight.
I dunno. Alot of thoughts. Not alot of words. Waiting for my rice to cook. Staring at my calc textbook, not really wanting to start. Lab books piled on a corner of my desk. Laundry that needs to be done. Skates that I wanted to clean. People to meet up with. Projects to plan.
Is it surprising that people get overwhelmed?
There really isn't much I can say right now that isn't just a reycled component of my previous thoughts. Sometimes we just gotta keep tanking along, cuz our pieces of the puzzles just isn't big enough for us to do anything else.
I just finished Nehemiah. And I was reflecting on all the times in the OT when people stated that the Lord will fight for us. Moses said it. David said it. I'm sure there's more. Nehemiah said it.
...I stood up and said to the nobles, the officals and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."
- Nehemiah 4.14b
..."The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us."
- Nehemiah 4.19b-20
A mix of active dependence and self-action for Nehemiah's squad. A nice, healthy mix. We lose track of that sometimes.
I just pray that you would be able to meet with God today. Walk out as much as you can, as much as you normally do. Then look for God in everything. And pray that He'll meet you there. But He won't be in the great and powerful wind that shatters rocks. Nor in the earthquakes. Or a great fire. But in a gentle whisper.
Go call up someone you love and hold dear. Just tell them what they mean to you. You never know. Maybe at that very moment, there is nothing more that person needs than a few words of heartfelt encouragement and thankfulness, and a quiet gentle prayer to the Lord our God. Mixing depedence with action. Remember the Lord...and fight.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Three questions
It seems like all the UW servers decided to spontanously all crash (or maybe some gateway somewhere is being stupid) but I thought I drop a few lines before I run off to class again.
I've shared this with a few people already, but I guess I'll put it up anyway. Maybe it'll be encouragement to move away from complacentcy...
Three question. Three simple and straightforward questions. Haaa...
1. If you had to stand alone, would you do it?
This probably wouldn't happen. Although we "know" alot of people, surely there is a handful among our acquantences that we can go to. That will gladly watch our backs. That will stand with us and share our dreams and visions.
Mark 6/Luke 10 shows Jesus sending His team out in groups of two...
After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves...
Ecc 4 laments about how sucky the lack of comrade is...
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
People like Moses and David all had people by their side. Even Paul had people with him during his missionary trips. However...contrasting these teams...Before Elisha, Elijah was on his own for a while. People like Ezekiel or Jeremiah had to stand alone. At the end, Paul was left only with a handful of loyal friends like Timothy.
The sole fact that God was with them made it possible for them to push through. It wasn't easy...Jeremiah often complained. Elijah got depressive relapses...perhaps no example is more powerful than Jesus Himself. On the night He was betrayed, I bet He couldn't have felt more alone. For how can anyone else relate and understand what He must do? None of his followers did. Down to the line, it was between Him and the Father. The words that He said to His Father was...
Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.
2. If you had to sow seeds without ever seeing the results, would you do it?
Obviously we'll see the results one day. But can one really do that? Just know what you gotta do and keep on tanking along, not knowing the impact of our words...of the meals we cook for each other...of the support and whatnot we pour into our brothers and sisters? Not knowing the marks we achieve in school or knowing what other people think of us? Not knowing if we were able to brighten someone's day or made someone's burden just a little more bareable? Just doing it cuz...God told us to?
The Lord told [Ananias], "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."
"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."
But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."
What a dramatic moment. Ananias was called to heal someone who has been throwing his friends and family, brothers and sisters into jail. Yet from that point on, Saul became Paul.
When we deal with people, we never know what would come out of it. People could nod and smile without actually understanding. Our words and actions might not ever reach the people we wish to reach. It's not like programming, when I can just hit "compile" and I see the outcome immedately.
3. If you had to run without ever seeing the finish line, would you do it?
I like to walk with some destination in mind. Unless I'm just wandering around, it's usually a good way to start on things. A nice vision. A nice goal. Details all getting point A to B. But what we don't know where point B is? Just given a compass and told "Walk North. Just keep walking north..." I dunno.
I was flipping through Paul's letters when I found this...
[Godless men's] teaching will spread like gangrene...
For someone who has already done so much, Paul realizes how much more that needs to be done. And the best he could do is pass on the torch, because the finish line he wanted to see...perhaps it was see see his church all strong and united in Him...or to spread the News even further...whatnot...the best he can do is to tell Timothy that he has done his best, and that it was now their turn.
Fight the good fight of the faith...
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
I dunno how far we would be called. I dunno where God would call any of us. But no battle would be easy. Even if we are never actually faced with these questions, when God gives us sturdy comrades. When we know exactly what we want to see. And that goal is actually attainable. For those of you who have lost track of where you are and where you are going...
Be still, and know that I am God...
Ask yourself...where is God in the things we do? Why do we do it? Is it for Him? Or have we once again got caught up in all the logistics? Doing things for the sake of doing it? Somewhere out there, there's someone praying for you. When it's easy to sit down and be complacent. When it's easy to say that nobody cares. When it's easy to get sweeped away by the flows of life. It's not easy. It really isn't. But it would be good. Because He said so.
The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.
I've shared this with a few people already, but I guess I'll put it up anyway. Maybe it'll be encouragement to move away from complacentcy...
Three question. Three simple and straightforward questions. Haaa...
1. If you had to stand alone, would you do it?
This probably wouldn't happen. Although we "know" alot of people, surely there is a handful among our acquantences that we can go to. That will gladly watch our backs. That will stand with us and share our dreams and visions.
Mark 6/Luke 10 shows Jesus sending His team out in groups of two...
After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves...
- Luke 10.1-3
Ecc 4 laments about how sucky the lack of comrade is...
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
- Ecclesiastes 4.10
People like Moses and David all had people by their side. Even Paul had people with him during his missionary trips. However...contrasting these teams...Before Elisha, Elijah was on his own for a while. People like Ezekiel or Jeremiah had to stand alone. At the end, Paul was left only with a handful of loyal friends like Timothy.
The sole fact that God was with them made it possible for them to push through. It wasn't easy...Jeremiah often complained. Elijah got depressive relapses...perhaps no example is more powerful than Jesus Himself. On the night He was betrayed, I bet He couldn't have felt more alone. For how can anyone else relate and understand what He must do? None of his followers did. Down to the line, it was between Him and the Father. The words that He said to His Father was...
Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.
- Luke 22:42
2. If you had to sow seeds without ever seeing the results, would you do it?
Obviously we'll see the results one day. But can one really do that? Just know what you gotta do and keep on tanking along, not knowing the impact of our words...of the meals we cook for each other...of the support and whatnot we pour into our brothers and sisters? Not knowing the marks we achieve in school or knowing what other people think of us? Not knowing if we were able to brighten someone's day or made someone's burden just a little more bareable? Just doing it cuz...God told us to?
The Lord told [Ananias], "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."
"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."
But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."
- Acts 9.11-15
What a dramatic moment. Ananias was called to heal someone who has been throwing his friends and family, brothers and sisters into jail. Yet from that point on, Saul became Paul.
When we deal with people, we never know what would come out of it. People could nod and smile without actually understanding. Our words and actions might not ever reach the people we wish to reach. It's not like programming, when I can just hit "compile" and I see the outcome immedately.
3. If you had to run without ever seeing the finish line, would you do it?
I like to walk with some destination in mind. Unless I'm just wandering around, it's usually a good way to start on things. A nice vision. A nice goal. Details all getting point A to B. But what we don't know where point B is? Just given a compass and told "Walk North. Just keep walking north..." I dunno.
I was flipping through Paul's letters when I found this...
[Godless men's] teaching will spread like gangrene...
- 2 Timothy 2.17a
For someone who has already done so much, Paul realizes how much more that needs to be done. And the best he could do is pass on the torch, because the finish line he wanted to see...perhaps it was see see his church all strong and united in Him...or to spread the News even further...whatnot...the best he can do is to tell Timothy that he has done his best, and that it was now their turn.
Fight the good fight of the faith...
- 1 Timothy 6:12
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
- 2 Timothy 4:7
I dunno how far we would be called. I dunno where God would call any of us. But no battle would be easy. Even if we are never actually faced with these questions, when God gives us sturdy comrades. When we know exactly what we want to see. And that goal is actually attainable. For those of you who have lost track of where you are and where you are going...
Be still, and know that I am God...
- Psalms 46.10a
Ask yourself...where is God in the things we do? Why do we do it? Is it for Him? Or have we once again got caught up in all the logistics? Doing things for the sake of doing it? Somewhere out there, there's someone praying for you. When it's easy to sit down and be complacent. When it's easy to say that nobody cares. When it's easy to get sweeped away by the flows of life. It's not easy. It really isn't. But it would be good. Because He said so.
The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.
- 2 Timothy 4.22
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
EE
efficiency
the state or quality of being efficient; competency in performance; accomplishment of or ability to accomplish a job with a minimum expenditure of time and effort
effectiveness
adequate to accomplish a purpose; producing the intended or expected result; producing a deep or vivid impression; striking
Two seemly similar words. Yet very different. Not going to comment too much on them right now. Karen shared this with me over grad convo weekend. What's efficient? What's effective? What does it mean? When should we be which one? Haaa...
...trust in God. Trust also in Me... - John 14.1
the state or quality of being efficient; competency in performance; accomplishment of or ability to accomplish a job with a minimum expenditure of time and effort
effectiveness
adequate to accomplish a purpose; producing the intended or expected result; producing a deep or vivid impression; striking
Two seemly similar words. Yet very different. Not going to comment too much on them right now. Karen shared this with me over grad convo weekend. What's efficient? What's effective? What does it mean? When should we be which one? Haaa...
...trust in God. Trust also in Me... - John 14.1
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Old photographs
I suppose I could've went out to lunch with them. I'm not getting any studying done right now anyway...
There's something really cool about flipping through old photos. Last summer, I flipped through alot of old CCF stuff. Before my time. Saw and learned things. The people that have just graduated. The people that are long gone, that I've never met. People of stories and legends.
Today, once again, I was flipping through Theresa's stuff. Many of those pictures I've seen, due to ACF banquet video. Many I have not. Of people who ... just 6 month ago, was just another face to me. Now I can attach meaning to them. Laugh and enjoy this community that has been recorded, a snapshot in time. lol. ACF. House 4. Sam's place. Weldon. ACF Exec. Old fogies group. Women cell? LCAC. Random nice day out. UCC. Bubble blowing. Health party. Etc...
Sometimes, I wonder if I live in the past too much. I suppose its good. Some things were better then. But we're not living back then right now, are we? Eric's words are coming back to mind.
Go and get your own story. I never really understood. Till he said it again to me. Go and get your own story. Push on ahead. Things may be been good before. It may have sucked before. But you gotta pick up the pieces and learn from them. That was their story. Go get your own. Story-sharing and borrowing ideas is great and all ... but ... go get your own story.
Are you living your own story? Not the one that was set aside for someone else...but your own?
There's something really cool about flipping through old photos. Last summer, I flipped through alot of old CCF stuff. Before my time. Saw and learned things. The people that have just graduated. The people that are long gone, that I've never met. People of stories and legends.
Today, once again, I was flipping through Theresa's stuff. Many of those pictures I've seen, due to ACF banquet video. Many I have not. Of people who ... just 6 month ago, was just another face to me. Now I can attach meaning to them. Laugh and enjoy this community that has been recorded, a snapshot in time. lol. ACF. House 4. Sam's place. Weldon. ACF Exec. Old fogies group. Women cell? LCAC. Random nice day out. UCC. Bubble blowing. Health party. Etc...
Sometimes, I wonder if I live in the past too much. I suppose its good. Some things were better then. But we're not living back then right now, are we? Eric's words are coming back to mind.
Go and get your own story. I never really understood. Till he said it again to me. Go and get your own story. Push on ahead. Things may be been good before. It may have sucked before. But you gotta pick up the pieces and learn from them. That was their story. Go get your own. Story-sharing and borrowing ideas is great and all ... but ... go get your own story.
Are you living your own story? Not the one that was set aside for someone else...but your own?
Flushin of prayers
I enjoy a good analogy. It breaks down big things into little, understandable things. Here's a nice random one. lol.
So I was sitting in class...last class of the day. With about 10 minutes left in class, I felt this urge. Nature is calling. I had to go to the bathroom. I say, hey, whatever, I can wait 10 minutes. 10 minutes later...the prof decide to spew extra. You know that feeling. It was a painfully long 3 minutes. But as soon as the prof stopped talking, I bolted. Ahh...
So how much of us think about the bathroom? It's one of those rooms that we're only in there cuz we need to. You can hang out in the kitchen...in the bedroom...in the living room. You just don't hang out in the bathroom.
Sometimes, I find myself treating prayer like the toliet. Go there when I'm in a jam and really gotta use it. Normally, it doesn't occur to me. Sure, once in a while I'd spend some quality (read: sink scrubbing and cleaning) time, but usually, it's just ... there. Something we take for granted.
Once in a while, I'd feel Him call me to pray. Any other time...well. You just gotta walk in the bathroom willingly.
lol. Trust midterms to give me wierd analogies. 2 more left...looking forward to Saturday. Nice day of rest and partyin. lol.
Postnotes: Was flippin through Tsa's photos cuz it's 1.15 in the morning and I don't feel like studying no more. Had a laugh at the Waterloo album. The London "Summer 2007"...oh man. I miss London. Too much random fun at House 4. What I need right now is a good game of DotA. Or Settlers. Or something...or ECE261: Power Circuits.
oy.
So I was sitting in class...last class of the day. With about 10 minutes left in class, I felt this urge. Nature is calling. I had to go to the bathroom. I say, hey, whatever, I can wait 10 minutes. 10 minutes later...the prof decide to spew extra. You know that feeling. It was a painfully long 3 minutes. But as soon as the prof stopped talking, I bolted. Ahh...
So how much of us think about the bathroom? It's one of those rooms that we're only in there cuz we need to. You can hang out in the kitchen...in the bedroom...in the living room. You just don't hang out in the bathroom.
Sometimes, I find myself treating prayer like the toliet. Go there when I'm in a jam and really gotta use it. Normally, it doesn't occur to me. Sure, once in a while I'd spend some quality (read: sink scrubbing and cleaning) time, but usually, it's just ... there. Something we take for granted.
Once in a while, I'd feel Him call me to pray. Any other time...well. You just gotta walk in the bathroom willingly.
lol. Trust midterms to give me wierd analogies. 2 more left...looking forward to Saturday. Nice day of rest and partyin. lol.
Postnotes: Was flippin through Tsa's photos cuz it's 1.15 in the morning and I don't feel like studying no more. Had a laugh at the Waterloo album. The London "Summer 2007"...oh man. I miss London. Too much random fun at House 4. What I need right now is a good game of DotA. Or Settlers. Or something...or ECE261: Power Circuits.
oy.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Peoples
Sometimes, I really wish I had the words...maybe even the courage to say how I really feel. Had a nice catchup session with a friend the other day. Had the chance to help another plan (kind of) the program for a fellowship. Passed on and discussed some relationship thing for one who's thinking about it. And another. And another. Talked about the people in CCF and how we can bring up more leaders.
I think, whenever I'm asked to count my blessings, my first impulse to to leap to all the things going wrong or hard. School. Fellowship issues. Personal struggles. What's there to be thankful for? Way too much...
Count my blessings. The first probably would be these people. The brothers and sisters that I watch over, who in turn watches over me. The ones I fight beside, eat with, pray with. The ones I learn with and play with. Joke with and laugh with. Study with and work with. Share with and talk with. The brothers and sisters that I hold dearly and (dare I use this 4-lettered word?) love. All a massive outpouring from God.
There's that quote...say everything you want to say to someone as if it'll be the last time you see them. People graduate and move away. I wasn't able to say everything...email doesn't quite cut it -_-
I dunno. How important is it that they know how much I really appreciate them? That they have been used mightily to bless my life? lol. A random bit of sappyness. But don't take them for granted. We're not armoured at all on the back, and so it's totally up to these people to do it.
Unrelated sidenote: The more I learn about Human Physio (BIOL273), the more impressed I become. How in the world did God come up with some of these stuff...way too pwnage...
I think, whenever I'm asked to count my blessings, my first impulse to to leap to all the things going wrong or hard. School. Fellowship issues. Personal struggles. What's there to be thankful for? Way too much...
Count my blessings. The first probably would be these people. The brothers and sisters that I watch over, who in turn watches over me. The ones I fight beside, eat with, pray with. The ones I learn with and play with. Joke with and laugh with. Study with and work with. Share with and talk with. The brothers and sisters that I hold dearly and (dare I use this 4-lettered word?) love. All a massive outpouring from God.
There's that quote...say everything you want to say to someone as if it'll be the last time you see them. People graduate and move away. I wasn't able to say everything...email doesn't quite cut it -_-
I dunno. How important is it that they know how much I really appreciate them? That they have been used mightily to bless my life? lol. A random bit of sappyness. But don't take them for granted. We're not armoured at all on the back, and so it's totally up to these people to do it.
Unrelated sidenote: The more I learn about Human Physio (BIOL273), the more impressed I become. How in the world did God come up with some of these stuff...way too pwnage...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Whinning 1
You know one of those days. When you're just by yourself, with your thoughts. When you can't tell the difference what is right and what is wrong. When there's a huge gap between me and understanding. When you can spend hours and hours, thinking you've finally understood, when the very next question pwns you hard.
Bah...E261, still working away...*insert random whinning about school...* ... sigh ... spending way too much time on this chapter...
lol. the cry of every university student
Bah...E261, still working away...*insert random whinning about school...* ... sigh ... spending way too much time on this chapter...
lol. the cry of every university student
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