Lyrics - Perspectives by Kutless

"Perspectives"
By Kutless

It feels like your life's crashing down all around you
Let me ask if it's really so bad
Look at the world in it's suffering
Can you honestly tell me that no one else could understand
All of the hurting inside

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

A young child looks through a great stained glass window
Watching the people go by
Everyone seems to be wearing a red coat
His mother sees jackets in white
Now he can't understand why does she see it this way

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

Yesterday, you really couldn't see
By changing your angle a new world would be
Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

CCF Grads 06 - Legends be legends

It's interesting. Talking to grads, when they reflect on our position, in CCF and whatnot, none of the ones I talked to expressed any disgruntleness on where CCF is being taken. True, we have problems. True, our size is proving to be more of a burden than we first expected, but...

Often we dream for things we can't take. Can't possess. Something materialistic. Some state of mind. Some fitness condition. Some skills perhaps. Some team. Some knowledge. Since we don't have it, we guess at what it's really like. Preconceptions. Fragments of the past and present, ideas of others, from TV and whatnot... trying to imagine what it's really like. Often though, it's not it. The way I see it, wisdom comes in two forms. One is acquired wisdom, the other being inherent wisdom. Inherent wisdom is easy to see. Famous example. Solomon's prayer for the ability to govern his people. God gave it to him right there. Many of us though, have acquired wisdom. Not given to us directly, but through lessons...though life events...though the words of other people...

" In our Christian walk we shouldn't settle for someone else's story, someone else's testimony. Rather we should go to God and ask for our own story. So I encourage to go get your own testimony...the testimony that God has planned for you. "

-Eric Cheng

I've never understood that until this weekend. I always thought that was obvious. No two people are the same, right? But like I mentioned in my last post, I just thought that...if we can mimic what CCF had before, we can bring that all back. The unity. The free discussion. The community. Yet...that's not quite true, is it? Generation and culture gaps, even between the now grads and us first and second years, is a bit noticeable. We approach things differently. CCF is a very community-based organization. What points do we have anchoring each generation of CCF together? A handful of doctrines. A few mandates. One faith. But the people who implement these ideas are no different than us. Committee isn't some insane "super-Christian" elitists...they're students just like you and me! People are different, so CCF understand a different set of hands will be different too.

That is university. People coming and going, each bring with them their own set of ideas. The grads have a point though. It's great to borrow ideas from the past...to see how they did things...to try to learn from their mistakes, to take a glimpse of their successes... but... we can't live in the past. We are dealing with people. And people are not stationary in time. It's quite possible to achieve tighter community with the current CCF. Yes, we're like scattered matches. Yes, we're wandering aimlessly. Yes, it's all going to be difficult. But we have to take some steps. We have to recognize this...

True, matches isn't going to be enough to stand against tomorrow's winds. But if we focus...gather...stand together...we'll still reach somewhere. Before we try to burn down the campus...lets try to set CCF ablaze ...

By prayer? By all means, let us pray then.

Reference: Lue Lau, Lue's friend Jessica, Eric Cheng, Maureen Wu, Vanessa Li

CCF Grad 06 - Disjunctioned Reflections

Exodus 4 - Moses of the Levites
"'Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since thou hast spoken to Thy servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.'" - Verse 10

Moses is quite a character. Against odds, he survived the Pharaoh's purging of his generation. He escaped again after his run-in with the Egyptian. Now, he has just witnessed the burning bush and walked on holy grounds. God is calling him, and that was all he could say.

"And the Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him dumb or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?'" - Verse 11

Yet those of you who's read this passage would know Moses still resists, and only agreed to return to Egypt when God allowed Aaron to help him speak. Familiar story, I know. It's a nice reminder of our own fragility, and how He reigns.

---
If this next part feels disjunctioned, it's cuz it is. This is the second day. Haa...
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I've probably came closest I'd ever would to post-2005 CCF. I was conversing with a certain upper-year (that probably had a larger hand in all of this then I realize...)...

"how when [current CCF] gather, we're bring matches together...but when [the "other" fellowship...UWCCF of the old] gathered, you guys brought torches?"

Coming from Sr. Rock (no offense to Sr. Rock leadership of 2004 and 05), and seeing CCF, it was a leap. Seeing the old CCF, though pictures, grads' stories, videos, quotes...was a separation I never thought was possible. It was almost like... with each graduating year, they take with them not only the people...the wisdom...but the spirit...the flame that is CCF. But that can't be right. In their years, they had grads too. Yet in their time, I see another world. Another fellowship. I can't even find the proper words to describe it all...

It's coming together now. Passion. Apathy. Empathy. Spirit. Leadership. Friendship. Prayer. Worship. Studying. Unity. Sharing. Communication. Coordination. Fellowship.

How did we manage to lose that to the sands of time? How did we manage to lose the very essence of fellowship? Is it really us? The people? The apathy? I've realized...I was playing with static... then I discovered a battery, satisfied with the power it stored. Now, He has set before me, a thunderstorm. What a Burning Bush situation...

Why am I being called? Of all of them, why me? Have You really equiped me with enough? I've already walked though the Door, with the Key You've have granted me...Keep this torch burning, oh God of Heavens. I have heard Your calling. I will go, if You lead me.

"...the [CCF] community [was] very different. in terms of.. what we did together. our topics of conversation. we still did stupid things. but we did MANY serious things together as well. westcourt was different than it is now :D i hope to have it come back to this ccf. all of us upper years are praying that it does"

Random - Choir

Hmm. Three postings in one day. I think I've reached some sort of record here...

As I browse through random people (well. not really random. I know all these people)'s blogs, reading stories, trials, and thoughts, it really drove home the thoughts of last posting. I think, we sometime lose track of other people who walks the same road as you do when things are difficult. It's hard to keep in that in mind. Something experience has taught me over and over again...when you're down, it's hard to keep things in proper perspectives. Reading people's entires, reminded me of 1B exam session all over again, where everynight I HAD to lift it all back to Him...I'd have no way of passing if I didn't. And God provides...and I did way better then I thought I did... I've never felt closer to His presence, with the 10PM prayer meeting everyday, people dragging me out just to pray... made me put things into the order it was meant to be placed in. All was good.

Yet...when I was home in Calgary, or in Stratford for co-op...I lost that. PDEng is annoying, but not really a challenge. Now...it seems like once again I'm being challenged...in ways truly out of my control. Funny how it's easy to take things for granted till it's in danger of disappearing...

Reading other people's blogs, hearing other people's words, remind me though, that I'm not alone. Even if the events do happen...and it looks like it will...I still have my own duties. Even if they become more difficult... reminds me of a song from a long time ago.

Here I am Lord by Daniel Schutte

Maybe I'm being called. Maybe I'm needed. Pray that I will hear Him. Pray that I don't lose track. Of myself. Of my people.

...is it I Lord?


Reference: Jackal Ngai, Herman Lam, Doug Lam, Vanessa Li, Ada Wong, Karen Wong, Heidi Wu, Timothy Cheung, Jackson Lin, Auntie Boon

Random - Double take...

Been spending a bit of time looking though more pictures for the Grad Video CD. Although most of the new stuff I got doesn't help me much (mostly have past grads...), it's interesting to once again dive back into this environment...big CCF names has passed by over and over again, names I've started attaching faces to just from this project. People like Alexis. Sofia. Waiki. Jiffy. Andrew Wong. People who (from these pictures anyway) seems to have been around for a long time...Joyce, Jane, JT, Johnny...even a few random shots of PT, Heidi and Auntie Maureen (but it was at KWCAC, so not really CCF...)

It just seems so far removed from me, even though these events only happened last year...or two years ago...or three...funny how much people pass though CCF, yet it still looks so much the same. Random outings. A trip to the Ontario Science Centre. All the retreats. Lifesong.

I guess I've been reflecting on Auntie Maureen's latest words, based around this Sunday's sermon. Quite often we don't know what we're doing...just...waiting. Offering what little we have and just waiting...even a little boy offered his five bread and two fish, before just sitting down and waiting...

I think, when we're fighting a war on multiple fronts, it's inevitable that we lose some battles. As painful as that would be, it's true. You can't defend four or five sides all at once. In our limited sight, we can't really see the full picture, and focus on the one or two pieces that we just lost...instead of thinking of the ten or twenty pieces we can get from that one sacrifice. What are we exactly called to do? Does one ever question the way he walks?

Maybe instead of praying for the ability to run, we must first pray for the power to stand...

Random - Bananna Nation

I was reading about bananas the other day. Did you know it's actually a member of the Herb family? Or that colour change ("bruising") to black is a defensive mechanism? Or that putting it in the fridge for three days will cause it to turn mushy? Okay, so the last fact is from personal experience, but it still tastes okay!

As a group of "Westernized" Chinese people, we often see things differently than "Eastern" Chinese people. I'm sure I don't have to list our hybridness... chances are, if you're reading this, you fall in this category. Because we're influenced like so, our point of views often are not understood by our parents, making families that are tight a bit more rare. So...are we a wall? Or a bridge?

It's not just culture. As a Chinese student in university, I find myself between many worlds. The east and the west. School and the real world. Family and friends. Future and past. Dream and reality. Christians and non-Christians.

Bridge or barrier? Is it pointless trivia? Are we going to change colour? Have you asked yourself why?

Post.Script. Yes I know I mis-spelt Banana. Random attribution to random people. lol.

Random - Hockey

Now that I've finished my PDEng resubmits, Module 4 AND Module 5 stuff, I feel the urge do some celebration. Well. At least something non-work related for a little bit. lol...

There's something interesting about sports. It's one thing seeing it on TV. It's another to see it in person. And a totally different thing when you're on the set...or the ring...or in the pool. That's how things are on the ice. I've been watching hockey ever since being a bandwagon jumper (oh come on. Who in Calgary wasn't?). I've watched a few random CCF practice and games...and now I'm a player on the team. Something about staring at the game from behind a helmet mesh that makes it all so...real...and yet surreal at the same time. In many aspects, hockey is just like serving (not to mention a whole lot of different things in life). How?

1. Hard work: trust me. Hockey is definately those things that looks easier when the pros do it. I have the bruises to prove it. If you don't put time into it, you'll get nothing out of it. "Practice makes perfect"? Not quite. But it definately helps. As an AV Technician, there are definately times when I felt totally lost (ie first encounter with KWCAC's 16 channel sound board) ... but things turned out okay at the end. I didn't make too much mistakes yesterday. lol.

2. Team work: breakaways and scoring doesn't happen that often. Assists and scoring does. Can you imagine a one-on-one hockey match? Some dude would have to play forward, defence and goalie all at the same time! "There's no I in team." (Yes, I realize these are two totally different ideas. -_-)

3. Passion: if you don't like it, you won't enjoy doing it. In sports where pain is unavoidable (well. at my skill level it is anyway) such as snowboarding or hockey, you'll often find that you're asking yourself why you'd put yourself though such a sport. (Need convincing? People in Calgary, go snowboard on COP when the hill is iced over. lol). Since this is fairly straightforward, I'll go onto my next point...

4. Equipment: Skates. Leg guard. Socks. Pants. "Protection". Chest guard. Helmet. Stick. Jersey. Tape (yes tape). Hitting the ice without these equipment is absurd. If you can't equip yourself, find some. Learn. Ask and learn. "Ask and you shall receive."

Ask yourself. Why do you do the things you do? Are you equiped? Are you a team player? Why not? If you're good at what you're doing, are you helping the ones that are not as good on your team? Do you know who they are? Or do you only "know" them?