Things of regret

I was sent a set of survey result, of where they surveyed large amounts of 60+ year old seniors, with the question of "what do you regret"? From that, they distilled these following results (loosely translated):

年輕時努力不 夠，以至事業無成
Didn't work hard enough, didn't achieve enough things
75% cited this as a regret.

年輕時錯誤地選擇了職業
When young, selected the wrong career
70% cited this as a regret.

對子女教育不 夠或方法不當
Did not educate their children enough, or didn't like the way they raised them.

62% cited this as a regret.

沒有好好珍惜自己的伴侶
Took their spouse for granted too often.

57% cited this as a regret.

鍛鍊身體不足
Did not train/exercise the body enough.

49% cited this as a regret.

沒有賺到更多的錢
Did not earn enough money.

Only 11% cited this as a regret.

It was fairly obvious what this set of survey result was suppose to show. Probably not news to many people. But I thought I post it up anyway.

Re: God can make use of...

I originally was just going to comment on Victor's latest entry, found here. But I kind of got long winded so I decided to just post it here

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This search for faith is a long-standing one. I've been told many times that it's to be satisfied with the outcome of any given event. That, of course, leads to the question of complacency. How do you know what to fight, and when to fight it?

What is faith? It's trusting that we're equipped to handle the situations we're placed in (even though that EM exam Friday looks mighty scary right now). That even if research sucks, that I'll learn something useful from grad school. That I'd be okay without knowing the big picture.

I suppose this is common knowledge. And these are familiar stories. Praying for growth is something I've hesitated on doing...because I've seen God break other people down. No one wants to face their own brokenness.

A warning against complacency...a big deal to me right now, I guess, because of what I noted about complacency earlier this month:

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And god is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Corinthians 10.12-13

I've noticed that growth, challenge, motivation and facing our weaknesses are a common theme of some of my fellow CCF bloggers these days. It's a good thing. These are things you cannot do without faith.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet,"so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. - Hebrews 12.7-13

I'm trying to learn to listen better...it's difficult to demands the rights and respect of an adult when one is still a child inside. Right now, He takes my hand and leads me. But there must come a time when He calls, and I answer, stepping out instead of being pushed by someone else.

Taking heart

Take heart, young one.

The quote was probably taken from somewhere else, but I first heard it from Carine Bloodhoof, a character from Warcraft III and has been ringing in my mind over the last few days. In some ways, the last few days has seen some of the quickest major decision-making I've ever had to make. But if all goes well, I will be in Waterloo for another year (at least =P), as a Masters student under ECE.

It's funny, how I've spent the entire term, searching for a job. I've had a few interviews, each with biomedical companies or hosptials. Although I've worked at all the right places, I quickly realized that my co-ops hasn't been providing me with alot of engineering-related knowledge. As such, I became aware of the gap between myself and my classmates, many of them whom have worked as engineering consultants, hardware specialists, software designers, project management, etc... at some point during the term, I found myself wondering why I'm still doing this. Do I really want to do research? Do I still want to do biomedical engineering? Maybe I was wrong...just a silly high school dream, that I'd be able to build tools for doctors. That I'd be able to contribute towards patient wellbeing. That I'd be a healer one day.

So I began to look elsewhere too. Management consulting. Hardware design. Control systems. Eventually...as the term started to wind down...software design. Database management. Technical support. Quality Assurance. Yet the only interviews I've ever gotten was two biomedical firms, and one hosptial.

Then, as project deadlines approached, I began to focus on those. Three week straight of FYD. A few more days for 438. Wasn't too atypical to get home at 3, 4am. But that's what student life is like sometimes. Just gotta get it done. Last friday, we demo'ed our FYD project. A posture detection system that we hacked together and somehow worked. I slept the weekend away...

On Monday, a new job posting went up. A UW prof wanted a student to build a lower body postural detection system. Mildly amused, I applied. 48 hours later, I was asked if I wanted to do a Masters degree. Because of the way Jobmine worked, I had 24 hours to decide. Hurray for technology as I scrambled to consult people from Waterloo. Toronto. Montreal. Calgary. New Jersey. Taiwan. ...

I think, it's a bit humbling to think about how it all played out. I applied for the position Monday morning. On Tuesday, I had an interview as a business analyst in Calgary. Knowing that if I get offered, I'm locked in, I prayed for direction.

Okay God. I don't know if I want to do this biomed stuff anymore. Research...maybe it's not for me after all. If I go back to Calgary...I'm quitting. I'll go back and do conventional engineering. Controls. Circuits. Consulting. Something. Research...You should save that for someone who's a bit more capable than I am.

8pm Tuesday. I was ranked.
10am Wednesday. I didn't get matched.
3pm Wednesday. I was offered a Masters student position.
3.30pm Thursday. I got officially pulled from Jobmine, to take this position.

As I sit here, fretting about housing...or the high average I need to maintain...or about not being smart enough to handle research...or the fact that I have so little control over things like this...I kept on thinking about my first co-op term, when I was placed in Stratford. How I didn't get my job until just a few days before finals began. Of how I realized that employment is really an act of God. I find myself thinking about that event all term...I guess this is why. I'm really...once again, reminded that He's got me covered. Even though all my despair. That I'm not forgotten. I guess I'm doing biomed after all. Not only did my short term concerns been met (lack of co-op job), but a bit of my long term ones too (some direction post-grad). Things just came together.

Yesterday, someone messaged me and asked about my tag, which was Carine's line that I opened this post with. "Who are you talking about?" I laughed. "Myself." As a fourth year student, I guess I'm among the older ones on campus. But compare to my Guide, 22 years is nothing.

Take heart, young one.