Day one of summer cramming

So today starts the oh-so-fun cycle of cramming. Wasn't extremely motivated. Got stuck at a few times. It's 2.45AM in the morning and I'm shoving ice cream into myself and reading random people's blogs. Laughed at a few. I guess I feel enoughly encouraged by Enoch's stuff to do a bit of sharing on God's hand in my life today.

So I was sitting in SLC, my wireless typically being it's stupid self and not working properly (gave up after 20 min of trying). I borrowed a friend's laptop to check my email and to see who's online so I can ask questions. Then I saw this person online and was like, hey sweet, I haven't talked to this person in a while. I can totally mulitask and study while being distracted by MSN at the same time. So I returned to my desk and tried wireless again, while thinking oh God, how often would I get to randomly chat with friends during the next 2.5 weeks? Just let me get online...and it worked. I was like, PTL (lol. My wireless card works so rarely on campus that it probably was an act of God -_-)! I logged on. The person was gone. Within a span of 2 minutes. God. You have an interesting sense of humour, in Your very own omnipotent way. Well. I guess I was suppose to focus on my studies today.

So it was a rather random story. But it helps to keep things real. God is with me as I study, just as He is with me as I am in CCF or at church. Just cuz I don't necessary feel Him there doesn't mean He's not.

Oh. And be specific in your prayers. Technically, I did get my wish and got online. -_-

CCF Term End Sharing

Last night was CCF sharing night. I never really did like sharing much. Especially before big crowds. Yet I always end up doing it. Before Sr Rock in high school, when I was asked to talk. Before the 90 froshes of NSR. And almost each term I have been in CCF, I've said something.

I think, it's funny cuz what I shared about is mostly from London, and the wide range of experiences I recieved from there. Perhaps, none of what I got was more impacting than...

"What is given to you is not for you. But for me. And everyone else."

Anyone who attends P&R would recognize Roger's opener. Indeed...as a seed sower, I would never know if what I do, the words I utter, the actions I perform, the roads I walk...I would never know if it is worth any or not. I would never know if Frosh Cell 2006 was good in bringing the froshes together. I would never know if NSR 2006 brought even one hesitant frosh to fellowship. I would never know if my random baking runs at ACF or even the time I spend in my living room, waiting for my housemates to get ready so that we can walk off to class together...

How could I know the impact of my hands, if not from God Himself? I too am among the people who are wondering...God? Are you seeing the things I'm doing? Is it...pleasing to You?

I was once told that no one has a boring testimony. When I first heard that, I laughed. For when I assess my life, I believed I didn't have much. *shrugs* the people around me seemed to be so on fire...or so pwnage at what they do. I'm just an ordinary guy. I sit here and complain about how much better everything can be, only simply cuz I can...cuz when I really sit down to assess what I do have...I've already been blessed more than I can count.

Imagine my surprise when a frosh at CCF mentioned (who doesn't even attend Waterloo...she's a Western kid who's home for the term) that she's in fellowship cuz of my influence. Apparently I asked her if she wanted to go to CC and she said she'll think about it. The only real thing I did was follow up on that and made sure that CC has her registered (ahh connections lol). That was it. Yet...she was able to attribute her particpation in UWCCF because of her going to CC, because she was curious at what fellowship was like and wanted to see what we were about with her own eyes...and now she'll return to UWO ACF with that, a member of the fellowship.

I remember she was saying about how funny it is that she, a non UW student, is integrated into UWCCF, while not at UWO ACF yet. I almost started laughing...for isn't that where I was in January? Walking hesitantly into a fellowship that's even bigger than CCF...while thinking, oh crap. I'm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people I don't know.

But I'd say it turned out okay. And all this happened cuz a Western student told me about UWO ACF, and I wanted to see this fellowship that she loves with my own eyes...lol. Sounds kind of like that kid with CC, no?

You want to know why I pray...or do the random things I do...or talk to the people I do? It's to give God chances to work. Cuz seriously, He's God. He doesn't need some 2nd year university student. But He chooses to, and so I gotta raise to the occasion.

Stray

I think, there has been alot of things happening lately. Not really to me, but everyone feels the weight of it all nevertheless. Friends' parents falling ill. Car accidents. Biking accidents. Difficult relationship times. Lack of motivation. Stuff. I dunno. Has it always been like this, and I'm just older now, and more able to understand?

Completely lost for words. Times just seem to be difficult in general. Alot of thoughts. Not enough organization.

Sometimes, it's probably easiest to just lock yourself in a room, away from all this. But when the people close to you cry out, what can you say? You have to walk with them...because they would do the same. I know that.


If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

- Ecclesiastes 4

I'm for you by Tobymac

I could claim it's unfair. But what is fairness, if not decided by God? And who can climb the mountain of the Lord (Psalms24)? Not I...

Anyways. Heard this the other day, on Herman's computer. It's been playing in the back of my mind since...

I'm for you
Tobymac

Tell me where its hurting
Are you burning?
Running just to catch your breath
And going nowhere
It's getting old when you feel like you got nothing left
Well it ain't over 'til it's over
I told you since the day we met
So let me be the voice through all the noise
Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you

Whatever you need from me
To see you through
Everyone of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled
We hit the ground and our lives crumble

Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you
I'm for you, If you never knew
If you never knew, I'm for you
You know it's true

I know the feeling
I know it's real when the drama's all in your face
You see a mountain
I hear a promise - it's never more than we can take
Well it ain't over, 'til it's over
We can learn from our mistakes
So let me be the voice through all the noise


Everyone of us will fall
Have our backs against the wall
And everyone shares a need to be loved
You've always been for me
So I will be for you
That's just what it means to love

Whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you
Everytime you fall, I'll be for you,
If you back's against the wall, I'll be for you,
Cause you've always been for me, I'll be for you,
I'll be for you, I'm for you.
If you never knew, If you never knew,
I'm for you.

Pouring

Manga is good. I enjoy reading manga. lol. Nothing like good comics to relax...or take mind off things...or to submerge yourself in a different environment. Whenever we talk about anime, I'd typically drop a few titles that are among my favourites. When someone looks at me and ask me how a particular one is...my first reaction typically is...

WHAT?! You haven't read FMA yet?! You want it?

lol. I suppose that's how some people are with music. Oh hey, I like that song. Yeah? I'll send it to you.

Why do we do that? Why is our first reaction to someone who hasn't been exposed to a really really good manga...or really cool songs...or funny YouTube videos...etc...why do we want to share it?

Deep down, we want to share our joys. I am blessed by good manga. Thus I share it, because I want others to be blessed by good manga. Someone was blessed with a good song. Thus he sends it to me when I requested it, because he wants me to be blessed with this good song too.

What about God? What about fellowship?

I was look at Acts 2 earlier...at the first fellowship again. There is nothing about evangalism there. Nothing. The only indication that they grew was...was that the Lord added to their numbers daily.

I was reading this one article about how...God will pour abundently into your cup. But until it is full. Once it is full...you gotta empty your cup before He'll pour more into it.

What if...we poured so much onto the fellowship that people can't help but to want to share it? They're blessed so much...

Haa. It's 3.20am. Thoughts arin't coming easily anymore. Just another idea, I guess.

Firefly

It's funny how interesting ideas can get lost in the shuffle sometimes. I think I first got excited about the Firefly project (my own random name for this idea) last year, when I first found out about the existance of other CCFs in Ontario.

Jesus said...You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. (Matthew 5.14-15)

I think, originally, I just wanted a connection between these groups. All the fellowships under AFC, in open communications with each other. CC was pretty much that. A once-a-year type of deal, when random people just...come together. Under the simple theme of that...we're all members of some Chinese Christian campus community.

But what if it became more than that? Ideally, London's ACF has massive knowledge pool. Its members are spread out over several churches...every Sunday, ACF hears many different sermons. Many different ideas. Thoughtout the week, they have the potential to inject these knowledge into the members...the cumulative knowledge pool is wider than what we have at CCF. New ways to look at things. Etc.

What if we added in a few more fellowships to that? What if it wasn't just W.ACF? What if we added in UW.CCF? Or K.CCF? or UT.CCF? Or whatever? I gained tremendously from my term at ACF. I'm sure others would too. What if...we were to pool all our ideas? All our battles? All our struggles? A massive network...of people praying for each other. Of far-reaching support and contacts. It's like...CC extended. We're like...fireflies in some area. With others far away. We can shorten that distance. We did it for CC, a three day event. We can do better than that. lol...AFC has so much potential...we...need to tap into it. We really do.


I think, I got thinking about this stuff again cuz earlier we were talking about CCF's lack of upperyear mentorship and leaders...wouldn't it be interesting if we also had... alumni mentorship programs? I dunno. I was thinking...over someone's 5 years at Waterloo...they're spending so much time dealing with school...with other stuff...with fellowship...themselves serving, that, by the time they've reached their 5 years, they're sitting on so much thoughts and ideas...dreams and visions...that they really want to see a reality...but couldn't. Because their time is up and they graduate. And all they can hope to do is...pass on their ideas, through personal contact...or a short 3 minute clip on the Grad video...that someone else will catch their vision and run with it.

What if we changed that? What if...we were able to connect DLs with former DLs? PC with PC? Chair with chair? The old CCF has...so much ideas. Over their time, they've tried many things. They've had successes. They've had failures. They've battled their own unique circumstances. But they've all graduated. And where do we stand? We, the ones that have now inherited this fellowship, only get minor glimpse of that. Some old pranks. Handful of pictures. Wishful thinking from the upperyears. The froshes, none the wiser. The famous Go Fish issue. Lifesong has always been a topic of discussion. Yet...do we restart that argument everytime? How have we benefitted from their experiences?

Isn't that the whole point of history? To see what was done before...to avoid mistakes...to not reinvent the wheel? To build? To grow? Not to...re-lay the foundation everytime a new generation comes in...


Which gets me into my last thing...talking to upperyears...even people who's just a year older than me...I hear about the old CCF sometimes. How pwnage they once were. Yet...over the years, we've let the bar sag. In our attempts to cater to seekers...froshes...new people...old people...upperyears...spiritual beasts...we've ended up with...nothing. A two minded man, tossed to and fro in the waves. What if...we were to raise the bar? Set it nice and high...then have dedicated people for seekers. Dedicated people for froshes. Isn't that what Alpha is? Or Frosh Cell? If you're CCF, ask yourself...when was the last time you were challenged at Friday night?

I think...I was frustrated last week. Scavenger hunt. I was running a station about Jesus' clearing of the Temple. A straightforward passage that people often overlook...cuz it's so...common. I looked up some context and some details. Came to some pretty interesting conclusions, as I read Matthew Henry's commentaries on that passage. I was all ready to give people these background and insight...but no one really want to hear them. They just...wanted to get the station done. I suppose, it's cuz the feel in the air is more "fun"...so it really wasn't their fault. But...


- Unity within the fellowship
- Unity within the campus, between other fellowships
- Unity with AFC fellowships
- Raising the bar. Effectiveness instead of efficient
- Alumni/upperyear mentorship and torchpassing


Oy...gotta pray more. This isn't an easy list to shoot for...

Sacrifice

The other day I ended up waking up at 10.30am. Didn't roll out of bed till 11am. Slept really late...watching Transformers XD. Did a bunch of things I shouldn't have done to myself, like eat alot of junk food. I had excuses, but that didn't seem to affect Him when the Spirit gave me a good rebukage. Two simple verses popped into my head.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.

- 1 Corinthians 6.19

Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!

- Matthew 25.21 (Parable of the Talent)

I understood instantly. My body is important, for it is God's. And if I can't be trusted with this thing that is "few", how can He trust me with things that are "many"? Like other people? Wife and kids. Brothers and sisters. If I can't take care of one temple...how can I take care of many?

I think, as a student, we're quick to downplay the importance of sleep (and health in general). It's probably the first thing that suffers when we're stressed for time. As a result, our body takes a hit. I can't really say too much as I'm a student myself...and late hours are typical in my books. I'm just as bad as the rest of them. But I guess it's something to think about...the things we sacrifice...what does it say abour our priorities? Our values? And if we can sacrifice these in our own time...what are our expectations for other people? Do we expect them to sacrifice the same things?

And what about the message we're handing down to the people that's coming after us? That health is unimportant? That family is unimportant? That school is unimportant? That fellowship is unimportant?

That God is unimportant? What are we saying here? Our action speaks much louder than words...

V1I1 = V2I2

I'm a boy, let me blog about this. lol.

*spoilers about Transformers* !!

It's 3.59am. I just came back from watching Transformers with PT's crew. There wasn't any "oh snap" lines like there was in Three Hundred. The cheesy romance sequence they tried was distracting at best. The family sequence could've gone. lol. Maybe cuz I went mainly to see the robots and the action. XD

Biggest complaint? There was some shaky camera sequences. And some scenes definately went way too fast. If there was a way to slow it down to watch all the transformations and fight scenes in detail...it'd be soo pwnage...

lol. I did some M212 and E241 homework today. Two games of Settlers. Slept for a while. Chatted for a while. Transformers easily is the highlight of my day. lol.

It's worth your money. If you're a guy, you'd want to watch it. Sigh...if only there to slow some stuff down...the computer graphics was good stuff. Alright. That's enough Transformer plugging for a night. lol.

Amusingly, my first sustained conversation with a certain boy from Vancouver was on Transformers. Apparently he saw it a few hours before I did. lol.