banquet video maker ppls

Time: 6.10am

Achived roughly 30-60 min of sleep in the last 22 hrs. It's been a while since I slept like a student. lol. Wait. The last time I was like this was after that LAN party at Summit 4...whew.

Still. I'm very much reminded of that question JLiu asked of things we do/did that brings us joy. The thing that came to mind was the times we can be all crazy and say stupid things and whatnot. With random Summit sayings (of course. Pris, Loanne, Shirley Yip and Justine isn't exactly the more normal crew either) and random music playing...lol. It's been an amusing night, but I think now we've reached the point where we just want things done. yay...

Alright. Left my mark at wee hours in the mornin. Good enough.

Emo~~

Emotions. It's really funny how this thing works. Lets what what dictionary.com says...

1. an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.
2. any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.
...

What does it say? Not much. "affective" (cause by or based in emotions), "consciousness" (state of awareness), "feeling" (emotionally influenced)...it seems to assume that one has an inherent understanding of what emotion is, as 2/3 of the words pulled to describe it also bases their explainations on the term "emotion". I think, the same verses I can pull about the heart and its assumed connection with emotions would be the same verses that people dating would keep in mind. Guard your heart; that type of thing.

What about deciding things based on emotional irrationality? Can't seem to find anything on that...

Collide by Howie Day

For some reason, I'm thinking of that song, Collide by Howie Day. I first heard it at Lifesong W06, so I naturally drew a line between "You" and God. But now that I'm reading the lyrics again...I realize that there such link is was implicitly primed via Lifesong.

Just been thinking about all the stuff I should've been but haven't. Whatever next term will bring. Next year's committee. Possible Fall workterm in Calgary. Possible Winter Committee role in 3A. Possible Australia STM in WKTRM4. Each of these I can still back out of. Each of these I could still say no to.

Then the people that's been on my mind. People in London; ACF and LCAC. People in Waterloo; CCF and KWCAC; People in Calgary; Family, friends and CCAC. How can I hope to convey the words and thoughts I hope to? How well do I understand them myself?

I think, the magnitudes of the things I'm attempting and challenging are starting to reveal themselves. The trials I've seen my upperyear comrades face are rolling around to me as well. It feels almost like the whole "first year trying to pull a fifth year" thing again. Just not as funny this time. Of all times for everything to collide, the various battles and locations, of people and events, all rolling into one... lol. maybe it's a sign of age.

Be still...be still...trying to be still...and remember that He is God...

Chia delivered an interest challenge against me the other day. Just exactly how bitter am I? I don't know. Calgary spanned 11 years. And 11 years is a long time to remember everything. I guess.

Collide by Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Augmented again

"He took off his helmet. It was too constricting. He dropped his shield. It was too heavy." - Dilios from 300, when Xerxes' Persan army outnumbers Leonidas 100 to 1, and demanded Leonidas to drop his weapons and armour to surrender

Sometimes, it seems like giving up is the only choice. When you have to stand alone. I suppose I had more to write about a few hours ago, when I was at Mission Praise Night at GTA. Sometimes the answer comes in seconds. Other times, in minutes. Still, days and weeks. Months. Years.

It has been a fairly up and down last two weeks. I think thinking about Committee so much has been draining, letting other things move in and interfere with normal occurances. But it's not how often you fall, but how often you stand that matters. We can do all things through Him who gives us strength, right? Pushin along again...everyone's moving along. Time for me to do the same. Gotta get back at it again...whew.

mmm...doesn't the dreams feel so close sometimes that you can almost touch it? mmm...

"He took off his helmet. It was too constricting, for his target was far and he needed a clear view. He dropped his shield. It was too heavy, and threw him off balance." - Dilios from 300, right before Leonidas threw his spear at Xerxes

Jumpin and hopping

So I should've been getting some work done, got something like 7 letters to write. But between eating lunch, playing Warcraft, and bloghopping, I spent three hours and it's only an hour away before I have to check into GTA for Mission Praise Night.

So I was eating lunch and wanted to do some reading while spooning noodles into myself. So running through the places I've hit today...

Enoch Tang (ACF Grad): He's always got some good reads, when it's directed at the general population and not towards a handful few and thus is actually coherent. Led to the "Home" entry earlier today.

Chris Tsoi (CCF Member): Reading a few of his WCRI articles from last year. Very thought provoking.

Yu-Ling (CCF Grad): No idea how I ended up here. Can't remember what I read. Yeah. Haa...

Marianne Heppleston (CCF Grad): in a old 2004 entry, talking about her day and a good luck to all CCFers reading that entry.

Waiki Lee (CCF Grad): Laughed a bit at the UNIX reference (or perhaps at how nerdy I am, for understanding that refernece). His stories about PS3 lineups. Pie day at MC. A reference to a friend that I know. Then I saw this. I remember walking into Westcourt this one time (it's still there, I believe) and seeing this foot long recept for about 40 boxes of KD (48, apparently). I stared a while at it before someone explained that it was before my time. Then someone (Mike Yung, I think?) told a few of us about stuff a suitcase full of KD and it being overweight at the airport. I laughed a while at this story (long enough to miss the bus by 15 seconds...arg!)...then I came across this.


...wow. The spiral began before my time (I was also amused by a posted conversation between him and Herman...amusingly, one day after my birthday before entering 1st year. CCF was alive and kicking long before I was...). CCF was CCF before it was CCF. lol. okok. I don't need a reminder of how much work we gotta do. All we need right now is...to equip ourselves...and come up with a plan...and do it! Arooh! Arooh! Arooh! (Ahh 300...what a pointless movie. Amusing though. lol)

Reflection at a bus stop

What is home? Funny how complex this four letter word is. Home is...

- Solitude, to think and to reflect, in the quiet rooms of mine
- Rest my head after a long and tiring journey (ie a workday. lol)
- A foundation where I can stand firm against the outside
- Where I can mend my wounds and scars and cry without fear
- A place where I can look back with fond memories
- A place where I can work hard today to get what I need to get done
- A place where I can dream about the promises of tomorrow
- Where friends and family gather...feed, support and pushing each other along; doing silly things and ask senseless questions; do serious things and change someone's world; chill and play and enjoy each others company

- Where I hear the familar annoying click of the living room clock and the roar of the passing-by train in the middle of the night
- A place I gotta keep clean and take out the garbage
- Where it's hot when it should be cold, and cold when it should be hot
- Where there isn't enough water to shower and wash dishes at the same time
- Where I cry and breakdown and no one will see
- A place where I can look back to painful and foolish things I've done
- A place where I rummage through the Words, trying to find some form of defense
- A place where I lie still, in dread of the trials to come
- Where friends and family gather...to scream and argue about senseless things; deal serious damage to each other's hearts and trust; where each slammed door breaks down the walls around; the silence more painful than the noise


What is home? It's a place where everything is exactly the way it is. The positives and the negatives. This is my place. These are my people. I remembered the last time I asked for the world. When was the last time you asked for your home? Calgary. Waterloo. Now, even a little bit of London. This is my place. Unless you push the blocks into position, the buildings will never be built. What's more important than family? And so when you say "brothers and sisters in Christ", how much weight are you putting behind those words that emphasize family? People, places and things come together. And they'll fall apart again, unless we do something about it.

I was watching Clue yesterday. The scenes played out exactly as I remembered the last two times I've seen it. I was playing Frozen Throne earlier today. The dialog was exactly as I had seen before. They're all lock in, never changing, a dynamic "still" image. But as hopeless as home may seem sometimes...it's not a dynamic still. I was on Facebook yesterday and saw Bily had created a UW CCF group. Laughing, I joined the group. The picture was from Winter Retreat last year, which brought even more laughter, as that was a very life-changing Retreat. Some people from that picture have graduated. Many more are leaving this year. But many are still here. And many more came in. How dynamic of a home. It's possible. I believe it must.

When I was in Waterloo for Lifesong, someone asked me if it was good to be home. I smiled and looked around the busy room, with people coming and going, trying to get everything organized. Many I recognized and knew. Many others I didn't. With each face I saw, my mind reminded me of the relationship, trials and successes of them. Each argument and debate. Each cheerful word and shared meal. Each gamebreaker goal and each good-fun joke. Each difficult trial and each confused look. It was good to be away for a while. But it was also good to be home.

Some will choose to run away from home. Others will give it all they've got. There's a phrase I've heard over and over again at ACF...there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian.


"Leonidas required you to stand. I only require you to kneel." - Xerxes, Persian King in 300

Quiet, gray day in London...

So I decided to eat lunch today at the University Hospital cafe. I made fried rice and wanted ketchup. UH cafe has ketchup. It's just so logical.

I think, being basked in this environment, has made me question and wonder once again. Wondering where I am from. Where I'm going. Who I was. Who I am. Who will I be. It's that whole now vs future thing. Biomedical Engineering was my compromise between an Engineer and a Doctor...

The way I see it, BME, as researchers, come up with stuff for the future. If their research doesn't work out, nothing comes out of it. But without these techniques, the doctors, as applied scientists, don't have anything to use. No fancy 9.4T MRIs. No real-time CT-scans. No isolation units for neo-natal newborn infants. No heart-lung machine for open-heart operations. It's a nice balance between the theory (sort of) and application. Actually, more like application to application, but anyways...

I dunno. Just so many people coming and going. Inpatients. Family of inpatients. Nurses from all different departments with different scrub colours. Doctors. Interns. Technicians. Students. Visitors. Volunteers. Secretaries. People talking about patient status. Of stories. Random socializing. Eating quietly.

Have you ever wished that...all the education and experiences you'll ever need just instantly be given to you? That you don't have to spend 5 years in undergrad, and another 1-8 years in higher studies. That you could instantly enter the field...and just start owning?

Daniel 3.16-27. Nebuchadnezzar throws Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Daniel's three friends, into the furnace for not worshipping his idols. When I was waiting for the bus this morning, it all the sudden started raining. When I got off the bus, exited the Natural Sciences building and was walking down the stairs towards Robarts, this story came to mind. Then the rain stopped. That was really wierd. Could be some crazy coincidence. Thought I mention it anyway.

I don't know where I'll be in 10 years. 5 years. Or even upon graduation. Just like I don't know what I'll be doing in CCF in a year. All I have is some vague dreams. Ideas. Goals.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." - Proverbs 16.9

I So Hate Consequences by Relient K

So I skipped sunday service this morning. Wasn't that I couldn't get up on time. I woke up a good 20 minutes before the bus came. Could've easily made it. No, I just didn't feel like going. So I was reading manga and thinking about stuff instead...

Over the last few days, I've been thinking about Committee. I wanted to serve CCF in some fashion, and I'm willing to step up to do this. After all...Committee is simply another serving position, no? But something was holding me back. There was some sense of hesitation...I didn't understand it till now.

I serve for several reasons. I want to give back to the fellowship and church. I want to hang out with friends. To fill a need. To learn. The fact that the willingness to serve as a symbol of faith never really crossed my mind. I've always thought, serving is good, right? Does it matter if I'm serving cuz that's what God said to do in the Word, or if I'm serving cuz I myself think it's cool?

A friend of mine, at the beginning of the term, asked me...why is it that I serve? I answered, because it feels good. He blantly told me, sin feels good too. What's the difference between sin and serving, if that's the only reason I do it? He then proceeded to have me draw a cross out on a piece of paper. The horizontal plank is my relationship with brothers and sisters. The vertical plank is my relationship with God. "Seek God," he said.

I've tried to keep that in mind thoughout the term, trying to figure out questions like "How do I know that I love God?" and that type of thing...in ACF, Roger was telling us how when he choose to step up more and more, he had to pray for the things that were keeping him from God to be revealed to him...so that he can get closer to Him.

And that was what I've been praying. Over the last few days, a few things I've been struggling with, for a long time now, all the sudden became more prominent. My two biggest sin is slapping me back and forth, and I've been trying to strug it off...but it doesn't work like that, does it?

I've realized. How I'm been doing this is all wrong. I've always thought I could handle the sins myself. "It's not like I'm hurting anyone," is how I justified it. They're all internal sins. But I've made a realization. These are exactly the things that are keeping me from God. If I were to have a conversation with God about all this right now, it might go something like this:

God - Why do you want to serve on Committee?
Me - To serve my fellowship...to do Your work...to lift things up to You...
God - So why is it that you can lift something that's not yours up to Me...but not yourself? You want to know what is keeping you from Me? It's you. You're not coming before Me yourself, so you can't be closer to Me.

I've been thinking of Jonah's story. How when God told him to go preach to that city, Jonah refused. But eventually he went. How God's will will come through at the end. But that wasn't the parts I should've been paying attention to...

But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better for me to die than to live." But God said to Jonah, "Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?" "I do," he said. "I am angry enough to die." But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" - Jonah 4.7-11

I'm like Jonah, in that I'm focused on the vine (CCF) and not on where I really should be focusing...alright. So it's not the greatest parallel. But the point is clear.

Being a Christian doesn't mean we're free from sin. It doesn't make the battle any easier. In fact...it's probably harder. Now that we know our right hand from our left, ignorance is not an excuse. Gotta take that plank out of our eyes, eh... Once you're a Christian, it doesn't mean you need God any less. Quite the opposite...you need God more then ever. Yes, maybe we'll have to battle against sin all our lives. We're human, we fall to that. But isn't that exactly the reason Christ was sent to us? It took a 4th year accountant, 2nd year Health Sciences student and a CCF graduate to remind me all that...

I went on Utmost Highest today. I don't usually come here, but I did today. Was laughing because this is exactly what I was dealing with...

"Be serious in your commitment to God and gladly leave everything else alone. Literally put God first in your life." - Utmost, March 18, 2007

Verses

When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am." - Exodus 3.4

Be still, and know that I am God... - Psalm 46.10a

All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. - Proverbs 16.2-3

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4.9-12

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from the darkness for the prisoners... - Isaiah 61.1

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you", declares the LORD. - Jeremiah 1.7-8

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. - Ezekiel 11.19

The Parable of the Talents - Matthew 25.14-30

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not ot please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. - Romans 15.1

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, hey form one body. so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body - whether Jew or greeks, slave or free - and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. - 1 Corinthians 12.12-13

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness..." - 2 Corinthians 12.8-9

...pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. - Ephesians 6.18

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. - James 1.5

Snippets from a letter

In UWO's ACF, I have been witnessing the possible results of a small group focused fellowship. This is not saying that ACF does it perfectly. I do notice a few flaws and failing points, but in theory, a higher focus on small groups significantly reduces the percieved size of the fellowship, making it easier to know one another. How has this been in practice? The results are debatable. ACF can only faciliate so much. Much of the effort still rests on the shoulders of its members. But the first task is to defeat ignorance.

I have personal reasons to suggest such things. I've always thought unity was an important goal. No house can stand when divided against itself. However, if a house does not stand together, it is still weak. Recently, I have been talking to random CCF upperyears. I was surprised to hear that they're not recieving the support they need...although academics has pretty much been bogging everyone down, how much effort does it take to really ask someone what's going on? Perhaps due to my WKTRM status, I could afford to fire 4 hours into MSN and just chat about things. But it doesn't really have to be 4 hrs long. I have a friend, with whom I can gather her current state of mind and the struggles she's undergoing, within 10 minutes. Did that "effentcy" take away from the quality of my friendship with this person last term? I do not believe so. Within the limitations of academic strain, it was the best I could.

Perhaps I'm being overly idealistic, in dreaming of a fellowship where everyone can just talk to everyone else. I myself is not capable of doing so, thus I cannot expect this of everyone else. I'm not saying we should share all of our deepest and darkest secrets. I'm saying that we should move further away from the "hey-hey-whatsup-nm u?-nm" routine. It is simply not possible for a handful of people to reach out to the entire fellowship. But if each person only has to tend to two or three people...if I only look to my brothers and sisters around me...and they do the same...

Hockey Analogy

I think one of the worst feelings one can have is self-pity. Just that sense of inner despair and self-punishment, wishing that one wasn't where she is and was someone else instead. That the burden isn't so heavy, that things could be easier to handle. I reflect on scenes like that, and can't help but wonder why bad things happen to good people.

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine. Asked a little bit about Committee, and eventually we reached a point where we started talking about trial by fire. Trial by fire...probably one of the most difficult ways to learn. But learn one must, else screwed. Yes, it is among the difficult, but probably among the most effective.

I've realized, the closest encompassing analogy I can pull is one of hockey. If you can play hockey (or learning to snowboard actually, since I've PK'ed far more snowboarding then hockey) without falling down, you're uber. For the rest common folks, running into the boards, the ice, people and whatnots are a normal event. The best you can hope for is that your pants and helmet are placed right, and that you're not too dazed to stand back up and go at the game again. And if you're afraid of hitting something? Hockey's not for you. Go play badminton or something. XD

And so what would you say to a Coach that focuses on not falling? It's great that no one gets hurt but...would the other team really not check people? Not shoot pucks at our goalie? Not play aggressively and recklessly? Not being afraid to hit and fall? No. It's all part of the game. So falling is part of the game. But so's climbing back up. And so's stepping back onto the ice.

Hardening

"But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let the Israelites go." - Exodus 10.20

For a long time, I didn't understand this. God hardened Pharaoh's heart? It sounds like He just picked some random nation, lead Joseph to it, made it ownage, then blew it apart, just to make an example of. This issue came up last term in Apologetics during Frosh Cell, where I defended by saying that the thing that is manuplated is emotion: In anger, we could choose to take a walk or hit someone. One cannot say the person who choose to take a walk feels any less anger then the person who hits his friend. And so the "heart" was the emotions of the Pharaoh, and the fact he wouldn't let the Israelites go was his own choice. Perhaps God provoked him? But God didn't make the choice for him?

I wasn't too surprised to read that the hardening of hearts is closely associated with sin. In this commentary I was reading..."[in the NT] hardening [is protrayed in] a passive form, not as an act of the subjects themselves, but as a calamity which has come upon them as a terrible consequence of their sins"...sounds like the Law of Diminishing Returns. At some point, you become "hard" to the sins being committed...desentization.

However, it seems to me that this hardening is used in two different ways, yet similar in nature. OT has hardening -> action. NT has hardening influencing action. Had people gained more self-control over the years? I don't know.

What I do know though...something completely fine, innocent and pure...something simple like eating or reading...listening to music or chatting...thinking of people and planning out events...these roads are very narrow. Very narrow indeed...

Reference: Work of the Holy Spirit by Abraham Kuyper http://www.ccel.org/ccel/kuyper/holy_spirit.viii.ii.xvi.html

Guardian Angel

I find it kind of funny that Enoch blogs about DOTA. I play DOTA once in a while, and I've never considered applying to life the elements of the game that he has. Today he referenced Guardian Angel, the ultimate spell of the Omniknight.

In my own ways, I could relate to what he's saying. I'm sure in the Word somewhere it says "have no favourites." I'll admit it. I'm far from putting those words in action. There's a handful of people I'd try my best to check on. When I look into a crowd, if I don't see my friends, I tend to just sit around on my own. I've even contributed to the cliques once in a while, forgetting how damaging such things are. But it happens.

Perhaps it's more easier for him, since he knows exactly who he wanted to watch over. And he is able to actively do that, with the confines of his limitations against the situation. The best I can do? Offer myself. But *shrugs*...what can I say? Trust isn't something easily earned. If it was...wouldn't be worth as much, I guess.

There has been two things on my mind today. One is the state of myself compared to before. The other is the state of CCF compared to before.

I was reading some of my old journal entries from 2003...4 old years ago. Don't feel like explaining the context, don't want to get into it (I'm pretty sure no one familiar with my Calgary-side history would know of this place...but in case there is, I'm refering to the whole drama in grade 10). All I can really say is...God is good. To be able to bring a completely shattered soul back like that...pretty sweetage. Don't take God lightly...He aint letting you go that easily. Trust me on that one.

As for CCF...yesterday I was just chatting with a few ppl from CCF. Didn't want to get to work and though I try to catch up with a few people. It was alright. Didn't talk to these people for 3 mth, so it was good to hear from them. Though what they did choose to tell me surprised me.

When froshes enter CCF, there's always that concern that they'd get cut out of things. At last count, we've retained about 30% of the froshes that signed with us at some point. Supposely this is typical values. Ya know. Froshes might not feel as fit in and not get support...that's why we break out things like Frosh Cell. Unity among the first years. Exposure to CCF. All that good stuff. Cools.

Heidi said something to me the other day. I should've realized this earlier...basically it had to do with the people who were quiet. The people who are most "okay" usually are not. Enoch reminded me of that too, yesterday. Assume that no one is 100% okay. Yet I was a little taken aback when the people I spoke to...and these weren't new people either. These people I've worshiped with, prayed with and studied with...these people have (and currently are) serving and active throughout the fellowship. Yet they're struggling. It's not the struggling I'm concerned about. We all struggle with crap.

It is the fact they're not being supported. Maybe it's all this academic busyness, taking away from our time to really connect with each other. Maybe it's the sheer size fellowship. Or maybe it's just that everyone is too busy fending for themselves, trying to stand on their own.

I'm reminded of that sprinting stretch. Where you take one leg and push it against your butt. It sounds funny to describe, but all you sprinters should know the one I'm refering to. When I'm warming up, I can typically do that standing up, without any support. I'm good, ready to go. But when I'm cooling down from the 100m...or the treadmill...I can't do that. I'm too out of breath, too tired to perform that stretch without one hand against a wall...a tree...or a shoulder.

So when we're okay, we're good. We can stand on our own. We can battle it out. But when we're tired and sore...weary from it all, how could we hope of standing on one leg?

It doesn't matter if you're a frosh, new into the fellowship...or a fourth year, serving on Committee. If there's one thing you need to remember, it's that you don't have to walk alone.

Encouragement

1. the act of encouraging.
2. the state of being encouraged.
3. something that encourages.
- Ref: www.dictionary.com

I had no idea how difficult random exhortation is until I'm attempting it. The question of Lent came up the other day, which I thought was interesting. Although Catholic in nature, the effort of putting aside something for God and spend that time in prayer or other things instead...I mean, both self-disiplin training and quiet time, all mixed together. So I thought, why not. I'll do it.

But then. What do I really want to give up? I don't really have a favourite food. Anime or gaming isn't a problem for me. Then I was talking to Shelby (lol. I got referenced on her blog. Gotta watch what I say now...oyy...) and she was telling me how I can do things for Lent instead. Interesting.

So I was walking in that field between Summit and my place...can't remember why. Grocery shopping maybe? But I go this interesting idea. What about mass exhortation? Locate someone on each day...surely I have 40 walking Christian friends. Sure, it's totally random, but meh. The only time I've let that stop me is irrational fear. In what really? Encouraging my brothers and sisters is pretty good. So now I'm 8.0/40.6...about 5 people behind schedule. It's alright, considering I started almost a week behind...gotta catch up soon.

But I ran into difficulty rather quickly. I'd sit down and think of random people...and start writing to the first person I think of. About what though? Beats me. It's rather difficult, on a few counts:

- Some people I have been keeping up with. These people I could refer to their current events and battles (though I haven't been doing that...other things came to mind during writing...a little too freeflowing? I dunno). Others I haven't talked to in a while. It becomes more of a catching-up session then an exhortation effort...

- To bring focus, I stick a verse into every email I send out. Except for my knowledge of the Word is pitiful at best. Like, how am I suppose to write to someone with more Bibical knowledge then myself? Doing best with what I've got...

- I guess there's always that uncertainty factor. Is what I'm doing actually helping? Can I actually encourage someone with my random random emails? I dunno. I really don't. Encouragement is far from my strongest point. Weither it's helping or not, that's for Someone bigger then me to know. Best I can do is to just do it. God can use anyone, but that doesn't mean you can just sit around and do nothing.


"Each of us should please his neighbour for his good, to build him up." - Romans 15.2

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5.11

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first." - Hebrews 3.13-14

Dare You To Move

Switchfoot Concert
March 1, 2007
London, Ontario

Was it worth it? I dunno. The bass was pretty overpowering. The few songs I did know was good though. Escaped the floor just when things got pushy. All good. Now I'm craving more Switchfoot songs...

With each event, I get a little firmer. A little more today than yesterday, a little more tomorrow than today. Not by my hands, but by Yours. I can't even meet You at the halfway point, but then, do I really have to? Arin't You already here? I'm still far from ready. But I know You'll keep leading. Cognition will never cease to be a defense, but waiting for higher stuff...I'm here again. God, How do I blow down this wall?

I chose not to pick up anything from the concert, though it was a bit tempting. I've been reminded of the path I've set out to walk. No, my mementos will not be Tshirts or CDs. It'll be my testimony. It will be the testimonies of my friends. The people we walk with. My fellowship.

Of course you're not ready. I sure aint. All the more reason to give it up to Him. I suppose I am on a bit of a concert high. God is good, nevertheless. God is good. Not enough time? All the reason to keep going. We still got a lot of work to do.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." - Proverbs 27.17


Dare You To Move by SWITCHFOOT

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here, Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next? What happens next?

I dare you to move, I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move, I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Welcome to the fallout, Welcome to resistance
The tension is here, The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?, Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here