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They say University is a big learning experience. For most people, the education is only a part of what they gain here. Being at University exposes you to all sorts of different ideas. Pushes thoughts and raises questions. What am I willing to try? Pushing comfort zones and complacency...I'll pull a few random examples that comes to mind...

Steak -> Eating
Before University, I always have my steak medium/well done. Not really understanding that cooking time is related to the tenderness of the meat, this fact was probably one of my biggest turnoff about beef: it's hard to chew. And so even though I come from Calgary, the land of cows, I find myself favouring chicken and pork over beef. That is...until my "aunties" found out. In first year, I drew quite an adverse reaction from Elaine Ho (which was kind of amusing, for the people that knows Elaine...she generally doesn't get that worked up. Haha) when she found out that I've never eaten red meat. Karen and Ada then plopped a piece of rare meat on my plate..."eat!" ...

Oh. Hmm. That wasn't so bad. I learned that rare steak is actually pretty good. But...old habits die hard. I still order chicken when I'm at a steakhouse. Haha. I tried something that was easy to enjoy, and learned from it. Good stuff. I've never made steak before. But this event set me up for...

Steak -> Making
One random afternoon, while trying not to fall asleep in the middle of a hot sunny day, PT sent me this link:

How to Turn Cheap "Choice" Steak into Gucci "Prime" Steak

After laughing at the cheesy illustrations and the surprising easy-to-understand food sciences behind it, he instructed me to try it. "Even you can't mess this up." Well...okay...you can eat beef raw, I reasoned. There is literally no way I can screw this up. So I found myself a few victims, and armed with PT's website, some advices from Alexis, and a trip to the local Loblaws, I produced a piece of steak. Vanessa ate it and survived. Wow. I made steak. Making and eating steak...things I wouldn't have done normally...

Living in North York
A few terms ago, I landed a job with Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre. A bit anxious (since everyone knows that Toronto is uber-polluted, even without the civil workers strike going on right now =P...and big. and unfriendly), I found that I was able to find housing, transit and groceries fairly easily. North York became one of my more enjoyable terms, with a Zoo trip, dual-welding chickens after several games of Settlers with SCBC people, running around downtown during Doors Open, mosying in the ROM and watching Canada Day fireworks (which really wasn't worth it -_-) down at the Habour-front, as well as meeting up with random London people I haven't seen in a while (which, interestingly, included an earring shopping trip at the Pacific Mall...as well as regular lunches with some of the UWO guys at Sunnybrook)...NY was one of the more enjoyable workterms.

But it was something really out of my comfort zone.

Oh...why not. CS Lewis (and reading in general...and Christian literature in genearl)
I used to read alot as a kid. Moving out of picture books rather quickly (Magic School Bus. Haha), I started looking at elementary books, then random teen series, then ventured into adult-level scifi from late elementary to early high school. Once I hit university, leisurely reading more or less ceased, as my bookshelves became filled with textbooks. One work term, I was handed the 722 Love and Marriage series (completely not applicable to me, at the time), and CS Lewis' Mere Christianity (a moderately thick book from someone who writes elementary fiction??). Not wanting to post-work time doing stuff other than playing video games and watching anime, I reluctantly watched and read what will become one of my most endorsed sermon series and a favourite Christian book.

Okay...what's the point?
I've been thinking about the potential to grow. One of my more enjoyed passtimes is discussions and debates (in fact...I was recently in a discussion about the lack of discussions in CCF...but that's another post for another day). I once asked PT why he likes student ministry...and he said that it is because we are teachable. I walked away a bit confused...how is that a good point? Isn't everyone teachable? In said discussion about discussions, I mentioned that I've been avoiding this type of discussions (and many CCF-related issues, in general) since these are things that comes up all the time in Committee meetings, members meetings, etcetcetc...and there's never really any solutions for it. But I suppose, in a way, I've become closed-minded, precisely what I was warned against doing...

Learning and growing
Over and over again, I find myself doing tasks at work that I'm not trained for from Waterloo. I've been a database programmer. A web programmer. IT support. Data collection. Robot operation. 3D image reconstruction. A researcher. For 5 minutes this one time, a baby sitter. Never have I applied circuit theory, 3-phase transmission, electron flow speed, or triple integrals. And so my greatest asset isn't how fast I can solve drain current in MOSFET circuits, but how quickly I can learn and pick up new things at the workplace.

Adopting to change is probably shown most readily via co-op. Co-op forces one to be able to pack one's life in a suitcase (or two. or three) and move to a different city for 4 months. Some of us have learned to be able to figure out our surroundings and fit in. Some of us have learned to just get by. Where's the local grocery store? A church to attend? Transportation for weekend visits?

A bit more hypothetical questions. The topic of parenting came up a few times over the last few weeks (kind of interesting to have several girls mention that they want kids, but too bad they'd need a guy for it...says something about the quality of guys these days, I suppose -_-). Parenting would be a situation unlike any other situation we've been in. One would argue that it'd be easy to take care of your wife. You could talk to her and she'll tell you what she needs. Your kids wants all sorts of stuff (ie eating a pound of heavenly hash ice cream is within what they want...but you really shouldn't let them do it). I have an auntie who majored in psychology in university. She told me that, even though she took every course in developmental, it did not prepare her enough for her two kids.

So in this way, being ready for here and now isn't enough. Ability to learn and grow continues to be important. I guess this is one aspect of 'student living' one should strive to keep. Haha. Figure out what you're getting into. Is it okay? Pros and cons? Consult resources. Keep asking questions.

Introspection

I look at myself and where I said I want to be. The goals and visions I've sat out for myself. Once in a while, I'd ask myself where I am and where I'm going. I don't reflect often enough, but once in a while.

I try to ask questions, and encourage others to do the same. When people present their ideas, goals and dreams, I ask them questions. I take the situation apart. I try to understand things and where people are coming from. I ask questions. Out of good intention, trying to see if they've got their angles covered. Sometimes they've got an answer, and I give them my best wishes. Sometimes they don't, and I inevitably break their model, and they have to return to the drawing board. I've encouraged ideas. I've destroyed dreams.

It's typically out of good intentions. But we all know where that leads. I wonder how much damage my tactlessness has done...I forget that not everyone likes it straightforward like I do...

Now I find myself asking...should I question, if I have no answers?

Pranking - CCF's current state of affairs

A few weeks back, Summer 09 CCF saw its first girls' sleepover. A majority of these girls went home to find their rooms to be several rolls of toilet paper richer, and a few balloons more fuller then when the left it. The rest of the girls were spared simply because the...instigators...were unable to obtain their keys. If memory serves, Elena, Jenn Wu and Clarissa all posted pictures on their Facebook. A random event I thought I mention.

A few weeks ago, I went into Toronto with the primary goal of visiting Vanessa Li, who's been going through some rough times. I figured, since I still have time early in the term, I might as well get out of Waterloo. Having already spent 3B, WKTRM5 and now 4A in Waterloo (wow...by August, I'd be in Waterloo for 12 months...), I should take the opportunities to see the outside world when I can. Then she told me that her best de-stress method is shopping. I hesitated...I mean, I hear horror stories about shopping with girls. Perhaps I should pass...then she said that my wardrobe needs reworking. Something about me wearing a black dress shirt, black tie with black pants displeased her. So she decided that the best thing to do was to take me shopping for more colorful things. So I resisted twice as hard...I mean, I like my black, grey and white shirts.

After trying to defer attention of shopping to Alexis and other sources...and failing miserably, I caved and made plans to go shopping. Which consisted of 6 hours of walking around at Fairview. And Vanessa giving me a detailed breakdown of material quality, style and pricing at various stories, as well as the shopping habits of some people I know. Kind of interesting, Except for the parts where we went into stores, Vanessa taking a bunch of colored clothing (and glaring at me whenever I gravitated towards something that was more my style...), and instructing me to try it on. I've never seen neon teal...till the day I had to try it on. Anyways -_-. I ended up picked up 5 shirts for 60$. Not too bad. Can't complain. I'm now 4 colors (red, blue, green and orange, for people keeping track) more richer then I was at the start of the weekend. Yay. After promising Vanessa that I will indeed wear the clothing that I bought, I went home.

The next day, I, as promised, wore one of the shirts. It being a cold day, I also slipped on a black (I only own black hoodies. haha) hoodie (now the only black upperbody clothing in my possession), and set off for class. When I came back, I was a little surprised to find a pair of shorts on my table. I looked around my room, but didn't notice anything...decided to set aside the shorts and ask my housemates when I see them. Within the hour, I got a phone call. It was a girl in CCF. For some reason, she felt the urge to call me and ask me if I noticed anything different about my room. Now I'm worried. "Wait...what do you know about my room?!" "...nothing. Forget I called. Bye!"

Totally wierded out, I went back and looked around my room with more attention. My pile of clothing on my bed is gone. Then my closet caught my eye. Wait. I didn't have this much color...I started flipping through my closet. Hmm. I seemed to gained alot more colored clothing. Furthermore...all my black, white, grey and brown shirts were gone. I stared in shock...how did this happen?! I already went and got colorful stuff...

Over the next few days, I managed to piece together some information. Apparently there was an email thread out there that planned this. Someone had access to my schedule (which isn't that difficult, I suppose, considering the ECE schedule is published publically). Was quick and efficient. Allison claimed credit for coming up with the idea (but then, she's been saying that she'll do it for years now -_-). As for now, my monotone wardrobe is still a bit more colored then it once was. I'll find my clothes again some day...

It's kind of a wierd occurrence. On one hand, it technically is a prank. But I can't really complain, considering I sort of benefited from the situation. Very mixed feelings about this state of events. The other day, a bunch of us (ie ~14 people in 2 cars) went to lunch. They took a "colourful clothing" picture. Felt rather strange to be included as part of that.

And apparently, I'm just the first of a series of retaliatory pranks. I guess CCF is slowly bringing pranking back. Ha...

What is Caring?

I've been spending a bit of time reflecting on the question of...What is caring? Seems like an important question for someone co-leading Caring Ministry to consider. What is caring indeed...

My 'What is Caring...' tag got a few responses (and an email! haha). A few references to Care Bears (which, amusing, has an ultimate attack of "Care Bear Stare"...), so I went an read through the Care Bear Wiki (yes, I did it. In the name of research!), and found nothing useful. A few other things I did get, however..

Caring is sharing

Hmm. When probed further, no one had specific details to offer. I thought about...sharing food? Sharing ideas? Sharing time? Sharing knowledge? Sharing movies? Sharing living space? Sharing burdens? Sharing resources? Sharing life? But...isn't that what community is? Just sharing things?

In my Social Psych textbook, research showed that two strangers has a higher tendency to like each other if they spent 45 minutes answering meaning questions like their stresses and worries about life...verses...45 minutes of casual small talk. It is also well-known that Mere Exposure effect and physical proximity increases the likelihood of people becoming friends. So by sharing stresses and burdens...as well as time and space...people make friends.  

Caring is about food

Haha. How Chinese. But I remember how people mentioned that one of the most caring thing they've felt is when they're included in CCF SLC food runs...or that time when people brought food to SJU...or how when we've got no ideas for a CCF unofficial program, we default to potlucks...or even the fact that I've probably washed more dishes at Westcourt then my own house. Or that the Turducken is still one of the more epic things I've participated in. CCF is all about food. 

Selflessness

This theme came up a few times, in conversations and in a sermon. Of how we can be so absorbed in our own stuff that we don't think about God (and associated things...such as serving, which includes caring for each other). Not saying that it's bad to be address one's own issues...we're still students. We need to think about careers and co-op. How to pay rent or feed ourselves. It becomes a matter of priorites. The story that Mikee cites says it much better then I can.

So...what is caring?

The most difficult aspect about tackling a ministry like this is...no two people care in the exact same way. I'd probably reference Five Love Languages here (an interest book, though I have no idea where my copy went). And so I can't teach someone how to care, because I really only know how to care my own way (which, tends to be a bit obtuse at times, in a very tactless kind of way. I'm very much a work-in-progress too =P). People provide and recieve care differently. 

Caring is the emotion you get when you know that something matters to you, and you act upon that emotion with utmost consideration for the individual or situation.

It is an emotion. An acknowledgement. A decision. An action. 

It is about you and so is personal. And the individual/situation, and so is an social interaction.

Praying

And so if it's difficult to teach...especially since one can't teach emotions or motivations...I was reminded a few times over the last few days: if lack of caring is because people don't know how, we can teach them. If they're unmotivated, or don't care, then it's out of our hands. As with all ministries, this is where faith comes in. That's always a lesson that needs constant re-learning.