They say hind-sight is 20-20. It always feels as if there is something more than can be done. What if I did/didn't take up some task? What if I didn't insist we work there? What if I got out of bed earlier? What if I just came up with the right things to say? What if I just said hi to that newcomer? What if I just made that phone call?
When it comes to regrets like this, I think there's really only two ways you can deal with it. Either you truck through it, and just forget about all the what-if cases...or you dwell on it, and try to fix it after the fact. One could take every oppotunity that comes up...but doesn't that just open one self to another set of regrets? What if I hadn't done that?
We talk about the prompting of the Spirit. We talk about testing each thought, to see if each desire is in alignment with what we know about God. We talk about how God is so big, that even within His will, there is choice. Believing anything less is a lack of faith. Having said that...is the whole "what-if" thought experiments a sign of lack of faith?
Theres always so much things to say. Yet nothing to say, at all. The shallow conversations we have with people we don't see often, because that "hi" is just a courtesy. The silent lunches with the people we see often, because there's nothing more to be talked about. The quick waves of greetings, because we don't have time to sit down and talk these days.
What if I had just ask a meaningful question? There's always more to be talked about. What happened to all my questions? Have I somehow lost it all in the routine and busyness of life? There's so much more opportunities to talk...yet we talk less and less. Where's the logic in that?
Another set of random ramblings in a quiet Saturday afternoon. It's almost April...why is it still so cold?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Porn is bad
So I spent a good part of last Sunday talking about this topic, which led to several more hours of research and discussion on the topic. At first, I think I was a bit weirded out that this topic would come up in the middle of a random conversation...but I thought...perhaps it's such a problem because no one likes to talk about it. No one thinks about it. It's one of those dirty little secrets that everyone knows about but are too embarrassed to confront. Hence I'll write about it. Fun.
I'll steal some stats off Porn Nation (C4C hosted them at UW, two years back, if it sounds familiar to anyone).
- By second year university, over 87% of the people has had exposure to hardcore pornographic material. I suppose it is a gross overstatement that everyone exposed to such contents will become addicted or scared in some form or way. But 87% is alot.
- Sexuality is a large component of media and advertisement. It portrays a certain body image as "desirable" and everything else is "ugly"...this naturally leads to bad self-image (especially in girls), causing a psychological condition known as anorexia nervosa, or some other form of eating disorder. Stats claim 25% of campus girls have eating disorders.
I stumbled on this site, which I've taken some points from. Porn is highly destructive. Here's some reasons why...
1. Porn is a method of escape. It is easily accessible, with no chance of rejection. Point and click, and done. You even get variety. Don't like what you see? Next picture. Real girls are too hard to get. You have to risk personal pride to walk up to the girl. Talk to her. Spend time to get to know her. Risk more pride and possible rejection to ask her out. Deal with your own issues. Deal with hers. Deal with the issues between the two of you. Etc. Honestly, which one is easier? The porn. But you've already lost the battle, if you think that. Indeed, it damages how guys can relate to girls:
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
3. Value being in physical appearance. I'm going to make the assumption that porn is loaded with girls who are absurdly beautiful, with 20 inch waists, weighing 80 pounds (I don't watch TV, I don't know what societal definition of beauty is these days -_-, but given that I've had at least 3 girls this term comment to me that they feel like they're too fat, even though they definitely weight less than I do...). I believe that stuff like modeling shows damages girls' self-esteem and self-image. If ... [insert actress A] and [porn star B] are the standards of "beauty", would girls not feel pressured to match those images? Unrealistic expectations...
Paul, in Ephesians 6, told us to equip the armour of God. It is often noted that there is no back armour in his descriptions. Thus, we are expected to stand and fight many of our trials. Yet for this topic, Paul has only one thing to say:
Flee from sexual immorality.
I'll steal some stats off Porn Nation (C4C hosted them at UW, two years back, if it sounds familiar to anyone).
- By second year university, over 87% of the people has had exposure to hardcore pornographic material. I suppose it is a gross overstatement that everyone exposed to such contents will become addicted or scared in some form or way. But 87% is alot.
- Sexuality is a large component of media and advertisement. It portrays a certain body image as "desirable" and everything else is "ugly"...this naturally leads to bad self-image (especially in girls), causing a psychological condition known as anorexia nervosa, or some other form of eating disorder. Stats claim 25% of campus girls have eating disorders.
I stumbled on this site, which I've taken some points from. Porn is highly destructive. Here's some reasons why...
1. Porn is a method of escape. It is easily accessible, with no chance of rejection. Point and click, and done. You even get variety. Don't like what you see? Next picture. Real girls are too hard to get. You have to risk personal pride to walk up to the girl. Talk to her. Spend time to get to know her. Risk more pride and possible rejection to ask her out. Deal with your own issues. Deal with hers. Deal with the issues between the two of you. Etc. Honestly, which one is easier? The porn. But you've already lost the battle, if you think that. Indeed, it damages how guys can relate to girls:
- If it is indeed easier to "interact" with porn, why would anyone bother with real girls? Guys may begin to avoid them -> become even more socially awkward and harder to interact with girls -> more withdrawal into porn
- Porn doesn't exactly cast girls in the most positive of lights. Although I was laughing at the idea that people may base their concept of standards and normalness on Hollywood (and other entertainment industry stuff...including porn), I realize that not everyone realizes that. The best illustration I can draw this one eps of Friends...
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
- Genesis 2.18
Seriously. Adam looked at all the animals in existence. None of them was good enough. They say dogs are man's best friend. Nope, not good enough to be helper. Nor the elephant. Nor the dolphin. Nor the cheetah. None of them are good enough. Did God screw up? Imagine you're there...in the Garden, where Adam literally chills with God. Adam hid from God after hearing Him walk in the garden. Adam was, in every sense of the word, in the presence of God. He never said anything about being lonely. It was God who first mentioned that Adam should have "a helper". Note what Matthew Henry has to say about the creation of Eve...
"That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."
Thus, from the beginning, God had intended man and woman to stand in equal footing, neither greater than the other. This means that women objectification was not intended. If you've heard the 722 series on Love and Marriage, you would've heard that the man's headship over the family does not mean he is greater than his wife. It simply points out that he has a different role...that it is his responsibility to ensure the family is focused...because it will be the man that will be held accountable.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man...
Notice that it doesn't say "one woman"...even though it was Eve who first took the fruit. Adam, as head of the family, had to take responsibility. But anyways. This is beyond the scope of this article. Go watch 722.
Seriously. Adam looked at all the animals in existence. None of them was good enough. They say dogs are man's best friend. Nope, not good enough to be helper. Nor the elephant. Nor the dolphin. Nor the cheetah. None of them are good enough. Did God screw up? Imagine you're there...in the Garden, where Adam literally chills with God. Adam hid from God after hearing Him walk in the garden. Adam was, in every sense of the word, in the presence of God. He never said anything about being lonely. It was God who first mentioned that Adam should have "a helper". Note what Matthew Henry has to say about the creation of Eve...
"That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."
Thus, from the beginning, God had intended man and woman to stand in equal footing, neither greater than the other. This means that women objectification was not intended. If you've heard the 722 series on Love and Marriage, you would've heard that the man's headship over the family does not mean he is greater than his wife. It simply points out that he has a different role...that it is his responsibility to ensure the family is focused...because it will be the man that will be held accountable.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man...
- Romans 5.12
Notice that it doesn't say "one woman"...even though it was Eve who first took the fruit. Adam, as head of the family, had to take responsibility. But anyways. This is beyond the scope of this article. Go watch 722.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
- Genesis 2.24
God made man in His own image. Would He really give anything less than the best for the man? An mere object hardly seems to be the best.
3. Value being in physical appearance. I'm going to make the assumption that porn is loaded with girls who are absurdly beautiful, with 20 inch waists, weighing 80 pounds (I don't watch TV, I don't know what societal definition of beauty is these days -_-, but given that I've had at least 3 girls this term comment to me that they feel like they're too fat, even though they definitely weight less than I do...). I believe that stuff like modeling shows damages girls' self-esteem and self-image. If ... [insert actress A] and [porn star B] are the standards of "beauty", would girls not feel pressured to match those images? Unrealistic expectations...
Paul, in Ephesians 6, told us to equip the armour of God. It is often noted that there is no back armour in his descriptions. Thus, we are expected to stand and fight many of our trials. Yet for this topic, Paul has only one thing to say:
Flee from sexual immorality.
- 1 Corinthians 6.18
Happiness and joy
The following is the "original" version of what I'm going to submit for Insight W08. I figure that since I have more space to blab on my blog, I'll put all my thoughts here, and have a more concise version for the actual Insight. Here we go...
--- Insight article, Winter 2008 ---
You know you're bad in the kitchen when you manage to mess up instant food. I tried making curry once. I suppose, if it was from raw ingredients, I wouldn't feel as bad. But I messed up instant curry. What happened was...I felt a great urge to eat curry. As I was really hungry when I started food preparations, I decided to make more of it. I read the box..."add x amounts of water, makes y amounts of curry"...well. What if I wanted more? I really, really wanted curry. I looked at the mixture...it looked like it can handle more water...so I add 3x the amount. Meh, maybe it'd be a little dilute. Who reads labels on boxes anyway?
Maybe I should have. I quickly ended up with curry soup, which did not look very appealing at all. Using my amazing engineering deduction, I figured that the best way to handle this situation was to reduce the amount of solvent on hand. Rice absorbs water. Lets dump rice into the mixture! Completely overlooking the fact that cooked rice already absorbed alot of water, I proceed to dump all my rice into the soup. Needless to say, I had to put up with curry congee for the next three meals.
From all that, one could gain many life lessons. I suppose the most applicable one I can think of is trust. How much do I trust this box? How much do I trust the instruction it gives me? Will following it give me...satisfaction? It’s interesting, how much we trust the things around us to bring us happiness. We hang out with friends, we do well on school. We eat ice cream, we play hockey. Anime, YouTube and StarCraft all have their place. We trust all these things to bring us happiness...sometimes without even realizing it. I sometimes wonder...can I really trust these things to bring me happiness? One day, when I don't have my ice cream, don't have internet and broke my StarCraft CD...where can I turn then? If school is going bad, and marks is how I feel good about myself...obviously I'll feel worse than someone who sees school as lesser importance.
This isn't saying that these things are not good. As students, school should be a priority. Friends and family are valuable gifts from God. And how can anyone say that ice cream and cookies are are not good? Rather, I think the importance is realizing that we are dependent on these temporary things. Where would I be without them? Swinging from one fad to another, hoping that if one thing grows old, we'll move onto the next. With these, are we simply addressing the symptoms? Surely, the answer must be somewhere. If only I got the perfect job. The perfect grades. The perfect guy. The danger about the perfect partner is that...well. He/she won't look that way forever. Attitudes and personalities change. Situations change. People come and go. So does health. Happiness is fleeting. Instead, I'll point to a deeper feeling. We speak often of joy. What is joy? According to Paul...
...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...
It is important to note that...
- The fruits of the Spirit is a result of God's grace...because you've already been touched by Christ, you have fruit. You can't produce fruit of the Spirit without having Christ first
- Are these fruits simply emotions? No, they are more personality characteristics. Transformed, after all, by Christ. Given that then, we can note that happiness is not the same as joy. One can be joyful, even in sadness.
I think this is where I have to trail off. I wish I could comment further on this concept of Joy, but I can't. If I do indeed have joy, I don't know how it feels or what it's like. Reading various passages and commentaries did not provide me with something objective to comment on. Perhaps, it's not possible to comment on it, it being someone so abstract. I will end off with this paragraph...
"The presence of God brings joy. Indeed, even the Psalms of lament give evidence of joy. The situations of those psalmists were not happy. There was no laughter in their lives. They were not having a good day. But joy remained because they still knew about God, they could still pray to God, knowing that God always cares for his people (even when, inexplicably, he seems not to be doing anything to fix what's broken)." - Scott Hoezee, Sermon on John 16.17-33
--- Insight article, Winter 2008 ---
You know you're bad in the kitchen when you manage to mess up instant food. I tried making curry once. I suppose, if it was from raw ingredients, I wouldn't feel as bad. But I messed up instant curry. What happened was...I felt a great urge to eat curry. As I was really hungry when I started food preparations, I decided to make more of it. I read the box..."add x amounts of water, makes y amounts of curry"...well. What if I wanted more? I really, really wanted curry. I looked at the mixture...it looked like it can handle more water...so I add 3x the amount. Meh, maybe it'd be a little dilute. Who reads labels on boxes anyway?
Maybe I should have. I quickly ended up with curry soup, which did not look very appealing at all. Using my amazing engineering deduction, I figured that the best way to handle this situation was to reduce the amount of solvent on hand. Rice absorbs water. Lets dump rice into the mixture! Completely overlooking the fact that cooked rice already absorbed alot of water, I proceed to dump all my rice into the soup. Needless to say, I had to put up with curry congee for the next three meals.
From all that, one could gain many life lessons. I suppose the most applicable one I can think of is trust. How much do I trust this box? How much do I trust the instruction it gives me? Will following it give me...satisfaction? It’s interesting, how much we trust the things around us to bring us happiness. We hang out with friends, we do well on school. We eat ice cream, we play hockey. Anime, YouTube and StarCraft all have their place. We trust all these things to bring us happiness...sometimes without even realizing it. I sometimes wonder...can I really trust these things to bring me happiness? One day, when I don't have my ice cream, don't have internet and broke my StarCraft CD...where can I turn then? If school is going bad, and marks is how I feel good about myself...obviously I'll feel worse than someone who sees school as lesser importance.
This isn't saying that these things are not good. As students, school should be a priority. Friends and family are valuable gifts from God. And how can anyone say that ice cream and cookies are are not good? Rather, I think the importance is realizing that we are dependent on these temporary things. Where would I be without them? Swinging from one fad to another, hoping that if one thing grows old, we'll move onto the next. With these, are we simply addressing the symptoms? Surely, the answer must be somewhere. If only I got the perfect job. The perfect grades. The perfect guy. The danger about the perfect partner is that...well. He/she won't look that way forever. Attitudes and personalities change. Situations change. People come and go. So does health. Happiness is fleeting. Instead, I'll point to a deeper feeling. We speak often of joy. What is joy? According to Paul...
...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...
- Galatians 5:22-23
It is important to note that...
- The fruits of the Spirit is a result of God's grace...because you've already been touched by Christ, you have fruit. You can't produce fruit of the Spirit without having Christ first
- Are these fruits simply emotions? No, they are more personality characteristics. Transformed, after all, by Christ. Given that then, we can note that happiness is not the same as joy. One can be joyful, even in sadness.
I think this is where I have to trail off. I wish I could comment further on this concept of Joy, but I can't. If I do indeed have joy, I don't know how it feels or what it's like. Reading various passages and commentaries did not provide me with something objective to comment on. Perhaps, it's not possible to comment on it, it being someone so abstract. I will end off with this paragraph...
"The presence of God brings joy. Indeed, even the Psalms of lament give evidence of joy. The situations of those psalmists were not happy. There was no laughter in their lives. They were not having a good day. But joy remained because they still knew about God, they could still pray to God, knowing that God always cares for his people (even when, inexplicably, he seems not to be doing anything to fix what's broken)." - Scott Hoezee, Sermon on John 16.17-33
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Double-edge swords
I remember reading in the Bible that we should watch what we say, that our tongue is like a sharp sword. I suppose this is the closest I can find...
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
I think, I've always recognized that as a warning to not lie and make false accusations. Not to slander or practice deceit. It not that hard. So I've never kept words like that in mind. Words are just words. It's okay.
I still remember Lue and her driving habits. Of how she always prays before driving. Even if it was a short 5 minute drive. It's just driving. It's okay. I still remember this one time, we were driving up to Toronto in this bad snowstorm. We hit a skid, slide for a bit, and eventually stopped perpendicular to the road. Two seconds later, a truck roared passed us. Had we been forward by another two feet, we would've nailed. There was no way the truck would've stopped in time. It was crazy. It's not okay. But God was with us.
I sit and think about the implication of words. It's how conflicts start. World War I...a few countries made some alliances. Just words. Everyone joined the battle. Four years of fighting. Just words. I'm slowly realizing how my most potent weapons isn't my fist or textbook. It is my words. It colours situations. It shapes the mood. It heals. It sunders. It's not okay. Is God with us?
God granted Solomon wisdom so easily. James 1 promised me unlimited wisdom, should I ask. Where's the God in my life? In my words? In what I do? In where I go? Here I am again, praying, because I've screwed up once again. I though we were suppose to mend and defend...but how do I mend with the same weapon I use to defend?
Would it be best if we just didn't have anyone around us? No chance of getting hurt by saying the wrong things...or people coming and leaving, the disappointment of losing friends...or having shallow people, talking to you only for what you can do for them. God said it is not good for the man to be alone. Adam wasn't actually alone; God was around. If we are to rely on God, 100%...why did He make other humans? Why did He make Eve?
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
- Prov 12.18
I think, I've always recognized that as a warning to not lie and make false accusations. Not to slander or practice deceit. It not that hard. So I've never kept words like that in mind. Words are just words. It's okay.
I still remember Lue and her driving habits. Of how she always prays before driving. Even if it was a short 5 minute drive. It's just driving. It's okay. I still remember this one time, we were driving up to Toronto in this bad snowstorm. We hit a skid, slide for a bit, and eventually stopped perpendicular to the road. Two seconds later, a truck roared passed us. Had we been forward by another two feet, we would've nailed. There was no way the truck would've stopped in time. It was crazy. It's not okay. But God was with us.
I sit and think about the implication of words. It's how conflicts start. World War I...a few countries made some alliances. Just words. Everyone joined the battle. Four years of fighting. Just words. I'm slowly realizing how my most potent weapons isn't my fist or textbook. It is my words. It colours situations. It shapes the mood. It heals. It sunders. It's not okay. Is God with us?
God granted Solomon wisdom so easily. James 1 promised me unlimited wisdom, should I ask. Where's the God in my life? In my words? In what I do? In where I go? Here I am again, praying, because I've screwed up once again. I though we were suppose to mend and defend...but how do I mend with the same weapon I use to defend?
Would it be best if we just didn't have anyone around us? No chance of getting hurt by saying the wrong things...or people coming and leaving, the disappointment of losing friends...or having shallow people, talking to you only for what you can do for them. God said it is not good for the man to be alone. Adam wasn't actually alone; God was around. If we are to rely on God, 100%...why did He make other humans? Why did He make Eve?
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Health Symposium
So today was the 3rd annual Symposium on Health Technology, hosted by CUBE. It was pretty good. Once again, I find myself thinking about career stuffs (I suppose 3rd year university is a godo time to start thinking about life -_-). I was watching some professor from CalTech talk about his occular transplant (!) and all sorts of fancy MEMS devices that you stick in people...I was sitting at the ed...while at the back of my mind, checking off all the stuff that I suck at: Circuit theory, electromagnetism, semiconduction, thermodynamics. Oh man...
I think, we all want to do something worthwhile with our lives. No one really wants to wake up one morning and realize they're stuck at some deadend job, doing things no one really cares about. People needs to be driven with purpose. I chose to do BME cuz I wanted to do long term stuff (as oppose to physicians, who perform short-term fixings). Or as PT has brought up a few times already, the really long term stuff would be pastoral work. But I won't get into that.
Haaa. Everytime I get involved in things like this, I feel like a little kid in a toy store (uh...if the toy store was actually research-grade BME gadgets...XD). Well. I'll be doing research next term. We'll see how fun that goes over. Someone spent ~7 years to perfect a RF coil for MR operations. That's a long time, going at a piece of wire. But it's part of standard MR equipment now, at Sunnybrook. Is it worth it? Only the patients can tell.
I think, we all want to do something worthwhile with our lives. No one really wants to wake up one morning and realize they're stuck at some deadend job, doing things no one really cares about. People needs to be driven with purpose. I chose to do BME cuz I wanted to do long term stuff (as oppose to physicians, who perform short-term fixings). Or as PT has brought up a few times already, the really long term stuff would be pastoral work. But I won't get into that.
Haaa. Everytime I get involved in things like this, I feel like a little kid in a toy store (uh...if the toy store was actually research-grade BME gadgets...XD). Well. I'll be doing research next term. We'll see how fun that goes over. Someone spent ~7 years to perfect a RF coil for MR operations. That's a long time, going at a piece of wire. But it's part of standard MR equipment now, at Sunnybrook. Is it worth it? Only the patients can tell.
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