It's May. No idea why I'm remembering that day. Stupid thing...
It's kind of funny to be back in Waterloo. I have no idea what I'm doing. It doesn't feel like lectures are starting tomorrow at all. I feel a bit discoordinated. Wondering where everything is. Where everyone are. I dunno. Maybe it's cuz it's 2.22AM. Maybe I'm just tired. Feeling a little too shaky to be the start of the term...a little too subtle. Maybe it's just a term shift thing.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
VPComm
Committee. It took so long to decide to run, through a rough but reflective time, just to be told by the fellowship I didn't get it. Even so, I didn't even have enough time to work through all that before I was told I'm appointed. Communications. Somehow, I got all the reflections, disappointment and excitement (well. I suppose I should be excited. Haa...) of it all.
I dunno. Next term still seems a bit far, even though this time next week, I would be getting ready for my first day of lectures of my 2B term. London, just a memory. All the challenges of school and committee waiting for me. Have alot of mixed feelings. Future is always uncertain. I am always dreaming for more. Maybe more thoughts will come later. Haa...
I dunno. Next term still seems a bit far, even though this time next week, I would be getting ready for my first day of lectures of my 2B term. London, just a memory. All the challenges of school and committee waiting for me. Have alot of mixed feelings. Future is always uncertain. I am always dreaming for more. Maybe more thoughts will come later. Haa...
Last P&R
Sometimes it's good to hear some stuff, even if I know it already. Today, I find myself staring into the P&R scene, not really wanting to join into a group and just chat like we always do. I was just...sitting there and watching. Taking in my last P&R session of the term...maybe ever. It's slowly hitting me that I'm leaving London...but no real insight or reflections today...
Heard a sharing today...heard a few sharings today actually, that I had to give a nod too, because they're all lessons fresh in mind. Fairly tired, but I want to write something down before I forget them all...
I think, the lesson that stood out the most was ... letting God take care of the people...and that even when I'm not around (well...most of the time, even if I AM around, I can't do much)...that He'll be watching over them. I dunno. It's hard to trust...but I've been told that worrying is a useless state of mind. Can't remember why anymore... but yeah...trusting...
Heard a sharing today...heard a few sharings today actually, that I had to give a nod too, because they're all lessons fresh in mind. Fairly tired, but I want to write something down before I forget them all...
I think, the lesson that stood out the most was ... letting God take care of the people...and that even when I'm not around (well...most of the time, even if I AM around, I can't do much)...that He'll be watching over them. I dunno. It's hard to trust...but I've been told that worrying is a useless state of mind. Can't remember why anymore... but yeah...trusting...
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Walking
I think, returning to Waterloo this week served well to remind me where I am. As I slowly disengaged my "London" mode and shifted back into "Waterloo" mode...can't exactly say I'm excited to leave London and ACF, but I'm slightly more at peace.
So at Westcourt, right now, is a fully deployed Settlers + Seafarers + Cities and Knights board. It's massive. It would take a few hours to play. We left the board as it, intending on playing it again when we're all back in town next week. Maybe that's how I feel a little sometimes. It took at least 10 minutes to set up (seed sowing). Maybe more. Than we had to teach the people who didn't know how to play (supporting each other). By the time we're underway, we're 30 minutes late (uncertainity). We play a little, than some of us had to leave (calling and commitments). So we walk away, expecting the board to still be there when we're back (hope). That's CCF. To just be able to walk away from it for four month...and come back...sure, there will be some new faces. But many old ones. There will be some new challenges. But many old memories.
It was a clear night tonight, but the light pollution meant I could've seen only one star in the night sky. But that's alright, because that one star pointed straight to Him. And even if all I did was sit and watch that one star, it would've been worth it. And that was all I needed.
So at Westcourt, right now, is a fully deployed Settlers + Seafarers + Cities and Knights board. It's massive. It would take a few hours to play. We left the board as it, intending on playing it again when we're all back in town next week. Maybe that's how I feel a little sometimes. It took at least 10 minutes to set up (seed sowing). Maybe more. Than we had to teach the people who didn't know how to play (supporting each other). By the time we're underway, we're 30 minutes late (uncertainity). We play a little, than some of us had to leave (calling and commitments). So we walk away, expecting the board to still be there when we're back (hope). That's CCF. To just be able to walk away from it for four month...and come back...sure, there will be some new faces. But many old ones. There will be some new challenges. But many old memories.
It was a clear night tonight, but the light pollution meant I could've seen only one star in the night sky. But that's alright, because that one star pointed straight to Him. And even if all I did was sit and watch that one star, it would've been worth it. And that was all I needed.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Term Reflection (W07)
So I was thinking how I should get a move on my term reflections...
I think, one of the little things I've come to enjoy greatly is Taylor Library. Not the library itself (cuz Weldon main floor feels so much cooler), but the space. Before exam session started, I'd find some ACFer there about 80% of the time. Sit down, do some chatting...spend 2 hours playing Trama Centre on Kas's DS (dang...I've actually considered getting one...)
Maybe I'll plunk down two things each. Trying to figure out everything I got out of this term is way too difficult...
Material things:
- Settlers! Oh man...I can't believe I never played this at Waterloo...I know they have it at Westcourt Thursday Games Nights...I hear they play Starcraft too XD. But anyways. Straightforward game. Lots of thinking. Cities & Knights...ahh...the Black-7 gg moment and lost half my hand and got my only city destroyed...oyy...or when Enoch built 5 roads just to cut Jeff off...or all the times they rip victory from someone's hand, just to have someone else win the next turn...lol. Good times.
- Personalized cup, which I got from MC Appreciations. It, with its random features (like the girl parade -_-)...but whenever I look at its front...the words "In Him Alone" reminds me of that song that, for some reason, I closely associate with P&R...In Christ Alone? I guess that's what the song is called. More on this later.
Quicks and personalities:
- Summit and TC sayings?! I haven't been saying "so delicious" lately, but "TOO EASY!" and saying things like how Enoch, Simon, Tim or Jeff would say it comes out once in a while. Well. At least I have something visible to bring back to Waterloo. Man...we need a Summit...lol. Start our own random shouting.
- Crying hand motion. Man. I've never done that before coming to ACF. Now I do it all the time. -_- I don't even know who I picked it up from ...
Ideas and concepts:
- Small groups and hanging out. It seems like such a simple thing. But how much do we do it? I think, maybe it's some weird CCF-Waterloo-JL thing, but I want to swing into deep conversations at every chance possible...but sometimes that's like trying to run before knowing how to walk. Deep conversations are good...but too much of anything (humanly) is a bad thing, and thus...well. That's why small groups and discussions like that is good, right? Sometimes we get a really good meaningful discussion. Sometimes we're just hanging out.
- Seed planting. I do random stuff sometimes. Sometimes I get to see the fruits of my labour. Sometimes I don't. As time goes on and I get older, I realize that more and more, I'll see less and less fruits. My targets become bigger. My dreams and goals becomes larger. Baking yields immedate results. People can eat it and tells me it's good (or too grainy...or too hard...or whatever). But the more I move into the realm of dealing with people, the "rewards" instantly flatlines. In my encouragement campaign (which I'm incredibly behind...22/40 and Lent is over already), the response rate isn't that high. Maybe people arin't reading the emails. Maybe they don't have time to respond. A few of them do, typically to say thanks for the email and how encouraged they are. But that's assuming they actually were encouraged, and wasn't just saying so because they felt they had to. Out of my 22 cases, there was only maybe 1 or 2 people I trusted in their feedback. lol...less than 10% confirmed sucess rate? Not too cool. But it's exactly this type of work we need to do. How much grads gets to see their froshes take on Exec? How much pastors get to see their sunday school kids minister on campus? It must be really cool to be someone who's been around and have seen people grow spiritually. But then...staying in one spot isn't a very university-student-ly thing to do. In two weeks time, ACF and CCF will be releasing a handful of grads to the real world. Well...that's just how it is. I only hope that the connections established does not just fade. Don't forget you have your second home to fall on, guys.
And so back to the Christ alone thing. When I first stepped onto London campus, I guess I was a bit hesitant. Didn't think much of ACF after the first meeting. *shrugs* I said. I left CCF for this?! But surely...His presence is here too...Something that I've seen in my 4 mth here (hmm. Has it been 4 month already? Dang...). And in coming here, I've connected with another part of the Body. Beyond all our common Asian (or Toronto, for some) roots, the one thing that truly unites us is our common stance in Him, and Him alone.
In Christ Alone by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
I think, one of the little things I've come to enjoy greatly is Taylor Library. Not the library itself (cuz Weldon main floor feels so much cooler), but the space. Before exam session started, I'd find some ACFer there about 80% of the time. Sit down, do some chatting...spend 2 hours playing Trama Centre on Kas's DS (dang...I've actually considered getting one...)
Maybe I'll plunk down two things each. Trying to figure out everything I got out of this term is way too difficult...
Material things:
- Settlers! Oh man...I can't believe I never played this at Waterloo...I know they have it at Westcourt Thursday Games Nights...I hear they play Starcraft too XD. But anyways. Straightforward game. Lots of thinking. Cities & Knights...ahh...the Black-7 gg moment and lost half my hand and got my only city destroyed...oyy...or when Enoch built 5 roads just to cut Jeff off...or all the times they rip victory from someone's hand, just to have someone else win the next turn...lol. Good times.
- Personalized cup, which I got from MC Appreciations. It, with its random features (like the girl parade -_-)...but whenever I look at its front...the words "In Him Alone" reminds me of that song that, for some reason, I closely associate with P&R...In Christ Alone? I guess that's what the song is called. More on this later.
Quicks and personalities:
- Summit and TC sayings?! I haven't been saying "so delicious" lately, but "TOO EASY!" and saying things like how Enoch, Simon, Tim or Jeff would say it comes out once in a while. Well. At least I have something visible to bring back to Waterloo. Man...we need a Summit...lol. Start our own random shouting.
- Crying hand motion. Man. I've never done that before coming to ACF. Now I do it all the time. -_- I don't even know who I picked it up from ...
Ideas and concepts:
- Small groups and hanging out. It seems like such a simple thing. But how much do we do it? I think, maybe it's some weird CCF-Waterloo-JL thing, but I want to swing into deep conversations at every chance possible...but sometimes that's like trying to run before knowing how to walk. Deep conversations are good...but too much of anything (humanly) is a bad thing, and thus...well. That's why small groups and discussions like that is good, right? Sometimes we get a really good meaningful discussion. Sometimes we're just hanging out.
- Seed planting. I do random stuff sometimes. Sometimes I get to see the fruits of my labour. Sometimes I don't. As time goes on and I get older, I realize that more and more, I'll see less and less fruits. My targets become bigger. My dreams and goals becomes larger. Baking yields immedate results. People can eat it and tells me it's good (or too grainy...or too hard...or whatever). But the more I move into the realm of dealing with people, the "rewards" instantly flatlines. In my encouragement campaign (which I'm incredibly behind...22/40 and Lent is over already), the response rate isn't that high. Maybe people arin't reading the emails. Maybe they don't have time to respond. A few of them do, typically to say thanks for the email and how encouraged they are. But that's assuming they actually were encouraged, and wasn't just saying so because they felt they had to. Out of my 22 cases, there was only maybe 1 or 2 people I trusted in their feedback. lol...less than 10% confirmed sucess rate? Not too cool. But it's exactly this type of work we need to do. How much grads gets to see their froshes take on Exec? How much pastors get to see their sunday school kids minister on campus? It must be really cool to be someone who's been around and have seen people grow spiritually. But then...staying in one spot isn't a very university-student-ly thing to do. In two weeks time, ACF and CCF will be releasing a handful of grads to the real world. Well...that's just how it is. I only hope that the connections established does not just fade. Don't forget you have your second home to fall on, guys.
And so back to the Christ alone thing. When I first stepped onto London campus, I guess I was a bit hesitant. Didn't think much of ACF after the first meeting. *shrugs* I said. I left CCF for this?! But surely...His presence is here too...Something that I've seen in my 4 mth here (hmm. Has it been 4 month already? Dang...). And in coming here, I've connected with another part of the Body. Beyond all our common Asian (or Toronto, for some) roots, the one thing that truly unites us is our common stance in Him, and Him alone.
In Christ Alone by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Friendship blessings
When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city.
"Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked.
"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "those who are with us are more than those who are with them."
And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
When I read this, I remember thinking...wouldn't it be cool to see God's army? Would I rely on Him more if I knew His presence is actually physically (ish) just right here? I dunno. Alot of thoughts, don't know how to express it all. I've been thinking about the people I call friends...used by my definitions. Each and every single one of them I would say is a blessing. Why have I spent so much time asking for angels...when they're already here, in the forms of my brothers and sisters?
I may not have a pillar of fire to follow...but I'm always surrounded by my friends who are willing to point at only one direction...straight up. And that's how we stand together...
It's been a really up and down weekend. But I can smile again, even though all the chains and confusion. Because even though I don't understand at all, I can still pray a little. Even though I'm still chained down, the chains have long been broken...I guess, He's just waiting for me to walk a little further...more today than yesterday...more tomorrow than today.
Mmm...It's easy to forget...but when I'm sitting down, counting all my blessings, I realize that the best gifts I can ever ask for is already here. lol...I had really wish I could've walked with you longer, but I suppose...part of being selfless is letting you do the things you're called to do. Just like how I do the things I'm called to do. And as much as I wish to play guardian...I can only do so much in place of the true Father. In needing of accountability...
Woke up today with this song in my lips...
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God With all your heart,
with all your soul And all your mind and,
Love all of mankind...
We've got Christian lives to live,
We've got Christian love to give
We've got nothing to hide
We've got the Lord on our side!
Love...
"Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked.
"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "those who are with us are more than those who are with them."
And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
- 2 Kings 6.15-17
When I read this, I remember thinking...wouldn't it be cool to see God's army? Would I rely on Him more if I knew His presence is actually physically (ish) just right here? I dunno. Alot of thoughts, don't know how to express it all. I've been thinking about the people I call friends...used by my definitions. Each and every single one of them I would say is a blessing. Why have I spent so much time asking for angels...when they're already here, in the forms of my brothers and sisters?
I may not have a pillar of fire to follow...but I'm always surrounded by my friends who are willing to point at only one direction...straight up. And that's how we stand together...
It's been a really up and down weekend. But I can smile again, even though all the chains and confusion. Because even though I don't understand at all, I can still pray a little. Even though I'm still chained down, the chains have long been broken...I guess, He's just waiting for me to walk a little further...more today than yesterday...more tomorrow than today.
Mmm...It's easy to forget...but when I'm sitting down, counting all my blessings, I realize that the best gifts I can ever ask for is already here. lol...I had really wish I could've walked with you longer, but I suppose...part of being selfless is letting you do the things you're called to do. Just like how I do the things I'm called to do. And as much as I wish to play guardian...I can only do so much in place of the true Father. In needing of accountability...
Woke up today with this song in my lips...
Love the Lord your God
Love the Lord your God With all your heart,
with all your soul And all your mind and,
Love all of mankind...
We've got Christian lives to live,
We've got Christian love to give
We've got nothing to hide
We've got the Lord on our side!
Love...
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Grace Like Rain
I remember, back in high school, I used to dislike the song Amazing Grace. Maybe cuz the tempo is so slow compared to my standard punk rock or random emo music. Yet since I woke up this morning, just this one stanza, the chorus, been repeating itself over and over again...
Grace Like Rain
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly
Chorus:
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun
Hallelujah (3x)
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away
They're washed away
lol. Maybe cuz it's a cloudy and rainy day out. I suppose I want some profound and meaningful thing to say. Oh well. It's just a simple song. Hmm. Not even sure what it means. I suppose, God's Grace is so plentiful, it comes down like rain to us.
Too bad there's no more ACF worship sessions. Lots of songs I hear in ACF that I've never heard else where before~~
Grace Like Rain
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly
Chorus:
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun
Hallelujah (3x)
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away
They're washed away
lol. Maybe cuz it's a cloudy and rainy day out. I suppose I want some profound and meaningful thing to say. Oh well. It's just a simple song. Hmm. Not even sure what it means. I suppose, God's Grace is so plentiful, it comes down like rain to us.
Too bad there's no more ACF worship sessions. Lots of songs I hear in ACF that I've never heard else where before~~
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
KCF Morning Prayer Meetings
Back in my cosy cubical, having all carbed up on rice and apple juice. So good~~ not the rice, for it was hard and stale and microwaved. The apple juice. (y) Anyways. To the real stuff.
So I woke up at around 7.30 this morning. Showered, teethbrushed, changed, prayed, bought breakfast (Alright...too much MacDonalds...good thing coupon expires this week), and was on the bus to school by 8.30. I was thinking, hey...it's not that late today...I could make prayer meeting! So I made my way to UCC...up to 3rd floor. Strange. I didn't see any ACFers...walked around the corner. Saw this huge group of people. I doubled back, surprised at the sheer size of them. Unmistakenly, I saw several ACF members in the group. Jenny waved to me. I waved back. Well, they saw me. No running away now. I quietly joined the group (which was difficult, since they're in a circle -_-) and sat down beside Enoch. It was KCF. And they're having a bible study on 2 Timothy 2.
I've seen the KCF group before. The few times I did wake up early enough for morning prayer meetings. Didn't realize how much people was there until I actually sat down with them. I waved to Lois. She told me they were here at 7.30. No way...I looked down the circle. About 13 KCF, 8 ACF. A little more then 20 of us, at 8.47am.
I suddenly remembered that one time I was at UW.WCF, where there was that guy that said he's been trying to get people out for 8am devos at SLC (avg attendence? 1)
Dang. Needa pray for massive discipline. Morning devos gives a focus boost for the rest of the day (or maybe all the carbs is hitting my system. lol) ...wonder if I'd have enough discipline to start a CCF morning devos...7.30am biblestudy/prayer meeting...EVERYDAY?! Dang...hows that for a 2 Timothy 1.7?
So I woke up at around 7.30 this morning. Showered, teethbrushed, changed, prayed, bought breakfast (Alright...too much MacDonalds...good thing coupon expires this week), and was on the bus to school by 8.30. I was thinking, hey...it's not that late today...I could make prayer meeting! So I made my way to UCC...up to 3rd floor. Strange. I didn't see any ACFers...walked around the corner. Saw this huge group of people. I doubled back, surprised at the sheer size of them. Unmistakenly, I saw several ACF members in the group. Jenny waved to me. I waved back. Well, they saw me. No running away now. I quietly joined the group (which was difficult, since they're in a circle -_-) and sat down beside Enoch. It was KCF. And they're having a bible study on 2 Timothy 2.
I've seen the KCF group before. The few times I did wake up early enough for morning prayer meetings. Didn't realize how much people was there until I actually sat down with them. I waved to Lois. She told me they were here at 7.30. No way...I looked down the circle. About 13 KCF, 8 ACF. A little more then 20 of us, at 8.47am.
I suddenly remembered that one time I was at UW.WCF, where there was that guy that said he's been trying to get people out for 8am devos at SLC (avg attendence? 1)
Dang. Needa pray for massive discipline. Morning devos gives a focus boost for the rest of the day (or maybe all the carbs is hitting my system. lol) ...wonder if I'd have enough discipline to start a CCF morning devos...7.30am biblestudy/prayer meeting...EVERYDAY?! Dang...hows that for a 2 Timothy 1.7?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Me? Smile? Ha...
So Jenny lost her keys (which she later found at Taylor) and so I had to pull out my pockets to prove I actually really didn't take them -_- Among the items in my pocket was this bubble blowing ring thing that Andrea gave us on the last ACF Small Group meeting of the term. I dunno. It was kind of funny...I just stared a this little plastic ring. Picturing myself massively blowing it on my last day in London...
I remember, before heading into London, I was chatting in SLC with Herman. He was heading into Montreal and was sharing his worries. I was heading into London and sharing my worries. Even though my reasons for selecting London was probably not all the best...he said that even so, God will make something of it. I kind of just shrugged it off...
Today, I heard something I thought I'd never hear. Apparently I smile all the time. lol. Jon Lin, smiling? Never saw that one coming. I mean, we're talking about the same guy who choose not to smile for my gr 12 school ID cuz I thought that wasn't cool. lol. But then I realized...It's not because of anything I've done that I'm here. It's His presence in ACF that made it all so. Perhaps the closest to all this was when I was in 1B, when I was frosh and got pampered by the grads. It was great. But this is a different type of joy, I guess. And the knowledge that God was able to make my skeptical eyes see so much in the handful (okay...not handful...ACF's larger than CCF...) of people I had the honour of sharing my last 3 month here...
Prayer meeting. It's always a little interesting hearing other people pray for me. I couldn't help but smile when I got handed the task of bringing back ACF to CCF, especially since I went sent out of CCF as a spy to steal ACF secrets. lol. I dunno how much I've actually learned...and how much I can bring back...lol...I suppose, trying not to think of the magnitude of the tasks ahead of me...just enjoying my time here, before I head back into the battle...
Dang. I'll miss this place. I'll miss the people, wherever they go.
Hmm. Sappy. I guess I'd need to get it all out before I start my term reflections...
"The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31.8
I remember, before heading into London, I was chatting in SLC with Herman. He was heading into Montreal and was sharing his worries. I was heading into London and sharing my worries. Even though my reasons for selecting London was probably not all the best...he said that even so, God will make something of it. I kind of just shrugged it off...
Today, I heard something I thought I'd never hear. Apparently I smile all the time. lol. Jon Lin, smiling? Never saw that one coming. I mean, we're talking about the same guy who choose not to smile for my gr 12 school ID cuz I thought that wasn't cool. lol. But then I realized...It's not because of anything I've done that I'm here. It's His presence in ACF that made it all so. Perhaps the closest to all this was when I was in 1B, when I was frosh and got pampered by the grads. It was great. But this is a different type of joy, I guess. And the knowledge that God was able to make my skeptical eyes see so much in the handful (okay...not handful...ACF's larger than CCF...) of people I had the honour of sharing my last 3 month here...
Prayer meeting. It's always a little interesting hearing other people pray for me. I couldn't help but smile when I got handed the task of bringing back ACF to CCF, especially since I went sent out of CCF as a spy to steal ACF secrets. lol. I dunno how much I've actually learned...and how much I can bring back...lol...I suppose, trying not to think of the magnitude of the tasks ahead of me...just enjoying my time here, before I head back into the battle...
Dang. I'll miss this place. I'll miss the people, wherever they go.
Hmm. Sappy. I guess I'd need to get it all out before I start my term reflections...
"The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31.8
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Arrogance and Ignorance
So I randomly got called out to bowl. It was spontanously. I got owned hard. Sometime after my first frame I stopped caring. Stupid pride...but began thinking of other stuff instead...
I remember watching this bowling movie once. There was this big shot jock who got assigned to the bowling club, because of some big competition. When he first met the club, he told them he'll easily bowl 100 points, at which he got laughed at (300 is max score in bowling). Arrogant dude got owned good. But it's a kid movie, so of course, the club owned the even more arrogant opponent. Arrogance is bad.
I was woken up by my radio alarm clock today. There was some Christian kid radio show going. Basically had to do with reading the Bible in context. Taking things out of context can be very, very bad. Know the context, even if they look the same as today. Ignorance is bad.
I feel like I only really did two things today. Both of them had some element of these two flaws laced into them. Oyy...it's been a tiring day. Even though I really didn't do anything. I sometimes really wonder...even though I know I should get used to "fire and forget" projects...does it even matter? I dunno...how do other people do it? How do they just keep tanking on? Sigh...
--end random midnight rant--
I remember watching this bowling movie once. There was this big shot jock who got assigned to the bowling club, because of some big competition. When he first met the club, he told them he'll easily bowl 100 points, at which he got laughed at (300 is max score in bowling). Arrogant dude got owned good. But it's a kid movie, so of course, the club owned the even more arrogant opponent. Arrogance is bad.
I was woken up by my radio alarm clock today. There was some Christian kid radio show going. Basically had to do with reading the Bible in context. Taking things out of context can be very, very bad. Know the context, even if they look the same as today. Ignorance is bad.
I feel like I only really did two things today. Both of them had some element of these two flaws laced into them. Oyy...it's been a tiring day. Even though I really didn't do anything. I sometimes really wonder...even though I know I should get used to "fire and forget" projects...does it even matter? I dunno...how do other people do it? How do they just keep tanking on? Sigh...
--end random midnight rant--
Friday, April 06, 2007
Loving God?
The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to feat the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness. - Deuteronomy 6.24-25
One question that has been on my mind for a while now is...how do I know that I love God? I suppose, originally, I got sucked into the society's visual definitions. Where love is expressed by hugs and kisses. But several people have pointed out something that I have missed...
To the extent of my understanding of the word, I don't hug the people I feel close to or the people I like. But what are other things? Perhaps...listening to them? Walking with them? Helping them with their tasks? Supporting them in their battles? Tending to their needs? Carrying out their will?
And so, I understand it a little better now. God outlined ten Commandments. I find it hard to believe that was all it takes...but really...isn't the words outlined in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, arint those God's desires for His people? Once you strip away all the stuff made obsolete by Christ's cross, what are we left? Outlines on what to do about God (first 4 Commands). How to treat your neighbours and family. What to do if you ever end up stealing a sheep...or ox...or goat...
So carry out His will, outlined in the Word. Which includes communication (call to prayer and to read the Word), walking (I suppose worship and prayer comes here too), battles and will (Serving, I guess)...
Alright. Don't 'feel' love though? *shrugs*. If one has never been there, how would you know? Oh well...enough will be revealed in time. Till then, just keep walkin on in righteousness.
One question that has been on my mind for a while now is...how do I know that I love God? I suppose, originally, I got sucked into the society's visual definitions. Where love is expressed by hugs and kisses. But several people have pointed out something that I have missed...
To the extent of my understanding of the word, I don't hug the people I feel close to or the people I like. But what are other things? Perhaps...listening to them? Walking with them? Helping them with their tasks? Supporting them in their battles? Tending to their needs? Carrying out their will?
And so, I understand it a little better now. God outlined ten Commandments. I find it hard to believe that was all it takes...but really...isn't the words outlined in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, arint those God's desires for His people? Once you strip away all the stuff made obsolete by Christ's cross, what are we left? Outlines on what to do about God (first 4 Commands). How to treat your neighbours and family. What to do if you ever end up stealing a sheep...or ox...or goat...
So carry out His will, outlined in the Word. Which includes communication (call to prayer and to read the Word), walking (I suppose worship and prayer comes here too), battles and will (Serving, I guess)...
Alright. Don't 'feel' love though? *shrugs*. If one has never been there, how would you know? Oh well...enough will be revealed in time. Till then, just keep walkin on in righteousness.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Community
After meeting with some people, planned and unplanned, I found myself walking by Deli last night. Maybe cuz I was walking with Shelby and she happens to live in that direction. *shrugs* But I did want to find Yun-Ping, so I was like, oh well. PDEng can wait (little do I know, they changed the assignment, but I'll refrain from complaining about PDEng today). So I dropped in on him, and we chatted for a bit.
I think, there's a few things I've learned from last night and from YP and people like Kota in general. I guess, being exposed to the more spiritual side of Christianity is a bit interesting. Haven't seen (or heard, I guess) people speak in tongues or put so much emphasis on the other spiritual gifts until here. I dunno. I used to think YP to be really weird. P&R to be a bit much to handle. Yet there I was, randomly dropping in on him. Wouldn't think of missing P&R. lol.
One of the amusing points during our chat was when Janine dropped in on us. She asked me about getting a Coffeehouse email (which I didn't get, but it was just some thank-you letter, so I said I didn't bake cuz I wanted credit) while getting YP to sign something. Then YP was joking about how I can receive a kiss instead, which I also turned down (lol). So YP was like, okay, you can kiss me instead. Janine laughed and made this barfing motion. I found it all a bit amusing, the interaction between this fourth year and a frosh, but it's what Yun-Ping said after that stuck out: "She is such a blessing" (in reference to her barfing motions). I started laughing, but then...it's true isn't it?
I mean, we've all had times when we're just with old friends...when we can say stupid stupid things and do silly stuff...make mistakes and just be crazy in general...and it's okay. We'd make fun of each other's little quarks, but it's all good. Just sitting around...doing really, nothing in particular. But you can only pull it off with good friends. With people you're comfortable with. You can't be barfing on random strangers, eh?Hmm...another example in recent memory?
It was like, 4am in the morning. Myself, Shirley Yip, Priscilla, Loanne and Justine were working on the Grad Banquet Video...when suddenly this totally random came up on Loanne's laptop. It was "Peanut butter and Jelly"...probably among the more random songs I've heard in recent past. But the funny thing is, Lo and Pris jumped up and started dancing to it...apparently it was from TC. So they were doing random dancing when they realized that UCC actually isn't deserted. There's this guy on second floor who could see them dancing...apparently he's got this "what the..." expression...but after Pris realized the guy was there, she stopped and collapsed laughing. The point of this story being, these people were comfortable enough in our presence to do a random dance, but wasn't when the scope increased. I probably wouldn't be saying random Summit sayings (TOO EASY!) if I wasn't around them either. haaa...
Community truly is a blessing. I think I wrote about this before, but a whiles back, at Men Cell, Jliu was asking us ten things that brings us joy. One of my top ten was definately...just playing video games and screaming stupidity at family friends. Making fun of them just cuz I could. Argue about things that really didn't matter, then laugh it all away. It's all so good. It's all so good. Community truly is a blessing.
Except...community doesn't usually just fall into our laps. We gotta work towards it. Build each other up. Eat together. Study together. Be open and willing to help each other. Exhortation. Etcetcetc I'm sure everyone knows all this. Initive. Patience. A gentle smile and an open ear.
Oh alright. I'll continue with the exhortation campign...Settlers will have to wait till I'm back in Waterloo...gotta watch out for the graduates who are leaving...and push along the froshes who are coming in. And of course, everyone else in between. Cools.
I think, there's a few things I've learned from last night and from YP and people like Kota in general. I guess, being exposed to the more spiritual side of Christianity is a bit interesting. Haven't seen (or heard, I guess) people speak in tongues or put so much emphasis on the other spiritual gifts until here. I dunno. I used to think YP to be really weird. P&R to be a bit much to handle. Yet there I was, randomly dropping in on him. Wouldn't think of missing P&R. lol.
One of the amusing points during our chat was when Janine dropped in on us. She asked me about getting a Coffeehouse email (which I didn't get, but it was just some thank-you letter, so I said I didn't bake cuz I wanted credit) while getting YP to sign something. Then YP was joking about how I can receive a kiss instead, which I also turned down (lol). So YP was like, okay, you can kiss me instead. Janine laughed and made this barfing motion. I found it all a bit amusing, the interaction between this fourth year and a frosh, but it's what Yun-Ping said after that stuck out: "She is such a blessing" (in reference to her barfing motions). I started laughing, but then...it's true isn't it?
I mean, we've all had times when we're just with old friends...when we can say stupid stupid things and do silly stuff...make mistakes and just be crazy in general...and it's okay. We'd make fun of each other's little quarks, but it's all good. Just sitting around...doing really, nothing in particular. But you can only pull it off with good friends. With people you're comfortable with. You can't be barfing on random strangers, eh?Hmm...another example in recent memory?
It was like, 4am in the morning. Myself, Shirley Yip, Priscilla, Loanne and Justine were working on the Grad Banquet Video...when suddenly this totally random came up on Loanne's laptop. It was "Peanut butter and Jelly"...probably among the more random songs I've heard in recent past. But the funny thing is, Lo and Pris jumped up and started dancing to it...apparently it was from TC. So they were doing random dancing when they realized that UCC actually isn't deserted. There's this guy on second floor who could see them dancing...apparently he's got this "what the..." expression...but after Pris realized the guy was there, she stopped and collapsed laughing. The point of this story being, these people were comfortable enough in our presence to do a random dance, but wasn't when the scope increased. I probably wouldn't be saying random Summit sayings (TOO EASY!) if I wasn't around them either. haaa...
Community truly is a blessing. I think I wrote about this before, but a whiles back, at Men Cell, Jliu was asking us ten things that brings us joy. One of my top ten was definately...just playing video games and screaming stupidity at family friends. Making fun of them just cuz I could. Argue about things that really didn't matter, then laugh it all away. It's all so good. It's all so good. Community truly is a blessing.
Except...community doesn't usually just fall into our laps. We gotta work towards it. Build each other up. Eat together. Study together. Be open and willing to help each other. Exhortation. Etcetcetc I'm sure everyone knows all this. Initive. Patience. A gentle smile and an open ear.
Oh alright. I'll continue with the exhortation campign...Settlers will have to wait till I'm back in Waterloo...gotta watch out for the graduates who are leaving...and push along the froshes who are coming in. And of course, everyone else in between. Cools.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Committee
Over the last few days, a few people have been asking me about how I'm handling Committee and not making it onto the team (thanks guys). As much as I want to say I didn't really care, I can't really. I spent a good two weeks, just thinking about the decision to run. I talked to many people, saught many opinions, then finally decided to just step up, that He will lead me to it if that is the way it should be.
I suppose I am a bit disappointed that the fellowship has deemed that I'm not good enough for this. This thought is combating the very thought that caused me to run in the first place. Did I not run because I'm not capable? Did I not step up in faith, and not in ability? Did I not ask that the doors I am not to step though be shut firmly? And so I did. It's taking a little longer than I thought to get into that "alright, what's plan B?" mentality, but yeah. Need a plan B up and running...whew.
I guess it just means I won't have to be mindful of Committee stuff for a while. I think though, all this Committee stuff got way overshadowed by all the Grad stuff. After attending both UWCCF and LCAC Grad Dinner, it's a little overwhelming, by all the grads leaving...trying to get in those handful of final encouragements before they fly off to HK or Vancouver or TO or whatever. Even grads need a firm foundation...perhaps, even more so for the grads, who won't have this type of community to fall back on.
Of all the songs that could be stuck in my head, it had to be the CCF Theme song, didn't it...oh well. Random patriotism to my fellowship. The communities I've come to love, in what limited way I can understand the word.
http://www.afc-ca.org/ministry/ccf/ccfthemesong.html
Just trying to find the Bibical basis for what I'm about to say next, when an example came to mind. Probably not the best example, but it came to mind first, so I'll use it. XD
In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!" "Yes, Lord," he answered.
The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."
"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."
But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."
The mentality to hold isn't Him saying "you're not good enough to serve Me"...it's more "you shouldn't be here right now"...and the fact that He chose to use a guy that was shutting down His people...that He used this guy to start churches and write books and travel and preach in His name...well. That's a pretty good example of Him using anyone, I'd say.
I suppose I am a bit disappointed that the fellowship has deemed that I'm not good enough for this. This thought is combating the very thought that caused me to run in the first place. Did I not run because I'm not capable? Did I not step up in faith, and not in ability? Did I not ask that the doors I am not to step though be shut firmly? And so I did. It's taking a little longer than I thought to get into that "alright, what's plan B?" mentality, but yeah. Need a plan B up and running...whew.
I guess it just means I won't have to be mindful of Committee stuff for a while. I think though, all this Committee stuff got way overshadowed by all the Grad stuff. After attending both UWCCF and LCAC Grad Dinner, it's a little overwhelming, by all the grads leaving...trying to get in those handful of final encouragements before they fly off to HK or Vancouver or TO or whatever. Even grads need a firm foundation...perhaps, even more so for the grads, who won't have this type of community to fall back on.
Of all the songs that could be stuck in my head, it had to be the CCF Theme song, didn't it...oh well. Random patriotism to my fellowship. The communities I've come to love, in what limited way I can understand the word.
http://www.afc-ca.org/ministry/ccf/ccfthemesong.html
Just trying to find the Bibical basis for what I'm about to say next, when an example came to mind. Probably not the best example, but it came to mind first, so I'll use it. XD
In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!" "Yes, Lord," he answered.
The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."
"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."
But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."
- Acts 9.10-16
The mentality to hold isn't Him saying "you're not good enough to serve Me"...it's more "you shouldn't be here right now"...and the fact that He chose to use a guy that was shutting down His people...that He used this guy to start churches and write books and travel and preach in His name...well. That's a pretty good example of Him using anyone, I'd say.
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