Theory

Alright. Lets relate something back to school here. In Engineering, the way I see it, they feed us about 2.5 years of theory, with sparse amounts of application stuff to keep us interested. I often end up reading about alot of things that we're suppose to do...it's like watching NHL. They make it look so easy. When you get onto the ice itself, that's where you get owned.

How does one know that he is right? How does he know he's applying the right theories to the right application? Really. It must be difficult to be a real Engineer. Or a Teacher. Or a Pastor. Or a Doctor. What a Researcher's findings are wrong? And the Engineer took this and applied it? I wonder how much Engineers take their Iron Ring seriously...

All it takes is one question on an assignment to tell you how much you truly don't know. Theory can only take you so far. Why does it feel like I've failed that one already...

Submission

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22.42

Jesus, at the garden of Gethsemane, on the Mount of Olives. Just sheer hours before His betrayal. His entire life, destined for this one event. He knows very well where He is headed...the Cross. He doesn't sound too ready...yet..."not my will, but yours be done." Since Relationship at Frosh Cell, I've given the concept of submission a thought...

1 Corinthians 11.4 states that "head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." Now. We live in a male-dominated world...or at least, a world were males get more respect than females. Sterotypes are still alive. Women are still being looked down upon. Are men more value than women? Is it because Eve was created from Adam? Was it because "the head of the woman is man"?

No. 1 Corinthanis 11.4 does not suggest importance or value, else we'd have something like God > Christ > Man > Woman. The Father is not greater than the Son...often in the Bible it says "the Father and the Son"...I can't exactly remember where, but somewhere else it says "Son and the Father"...if the Father is more important cuz He is always listed first, what about that instance where it says the Son and the Father? This is getting into tricky domain that I definately don't know enough about, but yeah. Need to read into the Trinity...

So yeah. This is about order, and not value. Christ is the model here...He said that He is able to call out and the Father will send him legions of angels to aid him. Yet He didn't. He didn't. Jesus didn't need the cross. You and I did. Submission indeed...to follow the Will of God all the way through.

It's like...the Perfect Machine. If every bit works as it supposed to, it's unstoppable. I could compare spiritual battling with hockey. It's interesting analogy actually. Maybe it'll come another time.

"All the Glory to God." - Jane Mok, CCF Program Director


It has occured to me that Event D most likely has occured already. I'm ready, but not ready. Sad, but not sad. Tired, but not tired. Well...evidently I'm not ready to handle collision events yet...

Leadership

I think I'm a little encouraged from recent events. Once again, lessons from the past are resurfacing...

It was an interesting experience. I went into prayer meeting today, intending on just praying for this one struggling friend of mine. So I sat down and listen to all the other people share and talk...their visions, dreams and goals for CCF. Their desires and hopes. For the people. For CCF. For themselves.

I think, with all the talk about the need for more leaders in CCF, that thought just protruded in my mind. I saw Herman flip through his Bible, and I felt the urge to do the same. Leadership. Alright. Even with the discussions we've had on the topic in recent days, I'm surprised that no one brought it up yet...but okay...flipping flipping...Leadership.

The first entry under Leadership was Moses. Nothing else was familiar or helpful to what I was thinking. I flipped over to Exodus...and there it was. The calling of Moses. The Burning Bush. Moses' excuses. Him getting sent. What an example. A dude that thought he was worth nothing...and yet lead his people out of Egypt...and the crossing of the Red Sea. Just...wow.

Amusingly, this story is used against me from time to time...times when I guess when people tells me to answer a calling..."God used Moses to pwn. He can use you too." (okay. so no one specifically said "pwn", but you know what I mean. lol)...and although I really didn't want to speak...the fact that I was reading this story...

Earlier today, PT's sermon was about Sharing Heartbeat. The simple joy of being with someone who shares similar passions. I started to think of why I serve. Sure, I'm sure the Word talks about serving as a duty of Christians, but when I'm up there balancing my soundboard or whatever AV I got my hands on...I'm not thinking of the Word...I'm doing it cuz it's fun! Passion...so what about it?

Reminded again...Auntie Maureen's words...passion is all a leader needs. He doesn't need to be a super Christian or can recite the Bible backwards... and remembering all the little actions and whatnot that I did at VBS...I'm sure not all the kids understood the things they were singing. Yet that wasn't why they were doing this, singing and jumping around. They were doing it because they're watching us do it. They're led by example.

Led by example. Just like how I was challenged deeply by Lue's dedication to prayer (she prayed whenever she drove anywhere. Including going from KWCAC to V1. She claims she doesn't pray enough.) Just like how Auntie's making dinner for me those times gave me the idea to bake for the CCF DC studying people last term. Just like how Mike Yung's words of how we need to knock on CCF's doors to truly gain (a call to service)...none of these three graduates did this with the intention of letting my frosh self gain anything in particular...they were simply being themselves. And I saw. And I was challenged to do so much more.

So if I'm serving because I'm passionate about what I'm doing, and I do it because I can "Share Heartbeat" with other people passionate about what they're doing (which would happen to be the same thing as what I'm doing, or else heartbeat sharing wouldn't occur!), we develop a deeper connection due to this commonality. That was the basis of PT's sermon.

At the same time, I remember I was talking to PT about the possible Australia STM...very clearly, I thinking I wouldn't be ready to do something like that...I mean, an STM? But then...who can ever be ready? What is ready? And really...if someone is ready, is he reliant on God? But that's not excuse to do nothing...

Now...combining PT's sermon with Auntie Maureen's words, then linking it to Moses' example... We serve together, bring us closer to people with the same passion. Anyone with a passion can be a leader. And if he doesn't feel ready? Look at Timothy. Or Gideon. Paul speaks of his own weakness and boasts about it, stating that...

"[God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'" - 2 Corinthians 12.7-9

Okay. If that wasn't enough, another one I remember once in a while is...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." - James 1.2-5

Right here. Two states that mentions the need to take on the challenge, that God's grace will be enough in the face of challenges. God provides.

I was staring at the Armour of God passage, since that's what we're going to do next week at CCF...this part stood out to me...

"Take ... the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..." - Excerpt from Ephesians 6.17-18

The sword of the Spirit. And we pray in the Spirit...relating prayer to sword...so we're immediately equipped with all these armour...and one weapon. A sword known as prayer. God provides indeed, and He gave us prayer.

Reminded again: PT's idea of growth of a church isn't how big it is...it is how much people serve in it. And I can't honestly think of anything negative of training more leaders. We already don't have enough...

I think I'm starting to understand a little. Of why Auntie's vision for CCF was what it was...

I remember...I was first exposed to this issue right after Winter Retreat 2006. And I felt the need to rise to the challenge. Today, I was able to share all this with two froshes. Perhaps they too...perhaps they too will rise up.

"And so we each should carry our torch...and burn the school down together!" - Auntie Ada Wong's vision for CCF

Random reflections

You said "Ask for the nations and it will be given to you." We've asked. And now...how do we do this? Every person is here for a reason and for a season. We're only holding a piece of the puzzle. Patience. Patience that He will guide us to the right people, give us the right words, determine the right time.


"[Jesus] also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher."" - Luke 6.39-41

I'm reminded over and over again. Passing on the torch. It's always like that. We're all only here for a handful of years. We only can do so much. And because of that, we gotta do what we can. I got a chance to share with a fellow CCFer my experiences in 1B, and that served to remind me a bit about stuff...
I often fall back to my puzzle piece analogy. We hold but one piece, after all. We often don't know the impact of our actions. Just thinking at my own 1B term...people like Eric, Lue, Herman, Alex, Auntie, Karen...and Johnny, Mike, Jane...perhaps to them, it was opening their house to a frosh. Or insisting that prayer meetings are important. Or handing down old labs and notes. Or a few simple words of encouragement. A few lessons in how to run AV. A few random meals. Words of wisdom.

And through all that, I think two things really touched me. One was the ability to stick with these grad students...well...grads now...and see what they're really like. Not the fancy "I am old, wise and mature" facade that we as froshes attach automatically to them, but to see them as one of us...to be able to relate to them (sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing that I've inherited Karen's bitterness about ECE already or not...). To be able see hey, they're not that scary after all...

I've spent some time trying to piece together what 1B was like to me. I find it hard to believe that I went from a single frosh, lost in the sea of faces, to ... well. Where I stand (sit, rather. Tired from hockey. lol). Was it Winter Retreat, that I was convinced to go at the last minute? Was it Lifesong promotions and AV? Was it Grad Video? I dunno...each of these events were pivotial...but in talking to people...if these events were that piviotal, then my participation and growth from it was due to a simple reason...

I got prayed for.

No seriously. In regards to Retreat: "She asked me to pray for this frosh. I didn't know who he was, but I did anyway."
In regards to Lifesong AV: "If you really care for a frosh, pray for him."
In regards to Grad Video: Well. The only real thing I can say that He can use any given event to cause waves...oh wait. I do have a quote: "Froshes don't have minds of their own." Hahaha...

So I was guided here, dispite the posibility of not making it in. I suffered when I did not have a proper support network in 1A. I was prayed for and got integrated in 1B.

I didn't eat any healther (in fact, V1 food meant I gained 8 pounds -_-)...or did better at school (still got owned by CRTs. grrr...)...I went to CCF towards the end of 1A...so that didn't really change either.

Prayer. It had to be the prayer. And if a handful of prayer managed to integrate me into CCF...well. That's pretty impressive, I'd say.


"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4.8-9

I think, that's what every grad ulitmately wishes to say before leaving. "If I have been good, and an example to follow, please do." I think I wrote about this a while ago, but it just popped into mind, so I'll include it again. We only have so long here. What to do...what to do...what to do? Be an example. Lead by walking, and not by talking. We might just get somewhere yet.

Alright. As annoyance towards recent stuff...getting owned by froshes already...oyy...
"Now, all you need is strawberry milk..." - Ken Woo, Frosh
"Triple A beef man..." - Allison Wong, Frosh