Curie Temperature

A characteristic property of ferromagnets, as well as piezoelectric materials.

Under a strong enough external magnetic field, the internal domains of the ferromagnet will align itself to the external field. Domain wall shifting may occur, such that remanence point is no longer zero.

However, thermal excitation of the system causes the atoms to vibrate...perfect alignment cannot be achieved at T > 0K, due to this thermal excitation. In fact, as temperature increases (T approaching Curie Temperature Tc), thermal energization will cause increasing fluxations, until all alignment is annihalated at Tc, leading the ferromagnet is act as a paramagnet, several factors weaker in magnetic amplification as the ferromagnet.

ECE209: Properties of Electrical Materials (Exam on Wednesday)

Achtung!

For some reason, that word has been stuck in my head. Achtung. It's German, for "attention." Why achtung...

It's really the puzzle piece effect that's been on my mind. In two weeks this time, I'd be packing up from Calgary, getting ready to set out for London, Ontario for my next work term. The 2A term has passed a little more quickly than I had hoped to. A little bit of time to my school. A little bit to Frosh Cell. A little bit here, a little bit there. 4 month has passed, and I only have 2 exams left to go. Hmm...

I think, a very predominate feeling I've been having over the last little bit is ... why doesn't it feel like I've done very much this term? Why is there so much uncertainity about what's coming up? By not paying attention... I dunno. Another year of graduates are heading into their last 4B term. The next time I'm in waterloo, people dynamics would've changed again, and CCF would've changed a little more. 2B would be definately an interesting term. School would be hard. CCF would be interesting. *shrug* I dunno. I really don't.

I think...one thing that I'm starting to get scared of it... what I'm planning for WKTRM3. The current situation is too...established. It's too stable. How could an outside kid like me...hope to shake it up? How could I just pick up a box of seeds...and just throw it? Can I absorb enough between now and then?

...What am I doing again?

---

I think, I've thought of a good analogy for this. It's like back in gr 12, when I decided to try to test for a RCM level before I left high school. I could probably play some stuff at the 7th grade level, but needed alot of practice. Esp in stuff like theory and sight reading. I had the grade 7 book and practice books and loads of interesting sheet music, like stuff from FF (FF piano...so good...). Yet. I never really missed my piano till I left Calgary. I never really played anything. I never really got anywhere with that. Didn't put in the hours, and still expected myself to pull off something ownage like FF6's Decisive Battle. Or FF9's Chocobo Theme. Why... I really don't know why. The very fine line between theory and application. How does one carry oneself from such theories...to application? What motivates a guy to stand up, walk over to his piano, and just go at it for 3, 4 or 5 hours?

It's ironic. I spent so long chasing after a dream that really wasn't a dream. And when I got there, all it did was make the road so much more difficult and harder to understand. I really don't understand...

Links

I think what worries me the most about that situation is the fact I could see it happen. Again and again, over and over. I dunno. I used to think 20 years is a long time. I'm not even 20 yet. But it doesn't seem to be long enough. What went wrong? The foundation? The followthrough? The environment? I think, I'm at that place agian, wondering what's going on. But at least last time I could've ran. At least last time I had somewhere else to run to.

My friend just handed me her iPod and told me to listen. "United we stand." A album by Hillsongs. Sometimes I wonder...how deeply have we falled into this world's lies? That the most strongest bonds...or supposed strongest...can bend and break so easily.

So what do we do when we watch the scene going to potentially bad...or bad? What do we do...when we're watching the people around us walking into the exact same trap we once walked into? Do we sit around and say nothing? Do we try to intervene? Do we try to talk to them? Do we pretend we don't see it? Sometimes...we just have to sit down and pick up the pieces at the end of the day. There's a few things that I wish ppl don't have to learn by trial by fire...but I would have to agree with the advices handed me. What right do I have interfering?

I think, what frustrates me the most is this social context limitation. I can't say or ask the questions I want to unless I'm given the permission to do so. Wielding an anti-social face as a typical "Jon" probably doesn't help that trust factor very much, eh... I think it's a chicken and egg thing. Maybe I could help. Maybe I can't. The puzzle-piece effect is at full swing right now...very uncool.

On the lighter side, 1/6 exams down. Yay...

Some are specialized in one thing. Some in two. The impacting ones are the ones who are all three...I think I've seen enough charisma to know that I can't handle it, but it's always the curiosity that gets the better of me; social is a barrier that's difficult to overcome, especially from the outside world. It's all a little too complicated for my comprehension.

What does it take to trust? What does it mean "to know someone?"...how do I know when I'm close enough to comment? What will I need to do walk with someone? And recipicating, how would I know they are willing to walk with me? A little too much masks in this world...to hide the 'it's not importants' and the 'monsters' we don't think anyone else wants to see...it's easier to walk alone than to suffer together? Is it really? Another theory stuck as a theory...

You can only fight along side with your brothers and sisters if they allow you to. I guess.

Support Network

Since I had to give a speel about this the other day, I thought I might as well digitialize it and put it up, since postings will be sparse till...Dec 22. Then I can make my posts from Calgary =D anyways...

For myself, the need to build on a sturdy foundation is paramount. If you hit me the right way, in the right place, I'm down and out. And I recognize my own weakness well enough to say that I can't stand on my own. Ecclesiastes 4.7-12 is a very good segment. I believe that the concept of Friendship is a gift from God. We really arint strong enough to fight on our own. Really...there's too much temptations. Too much complications. Too much things to do, too much needs to meet. Too much places to go, too much barriers to overcome. And although theory states that if we give it all up to Him, we can pwn anything. But seriously...when we're in that state, how much of us is able to hold it all up to Him? I know I can't. And God realizes that.

So thus He gave us this concept to make up for that. Maybe friends are around to pick us up when we're down and make life more enjoyable (The author to Ecclesiastes seems to think so), to push, challenge and guide each other (Paul mentions something along this line, in Romans 15.1-2) and to forgive and rebuke (Jesus said this in Matthew 18.15). So friends are a great thing.

Yet...when Jesus sent out the disciples in Luke 10,he sent them out in twos. Ecclesiastes similarly mentions this unit of twos. A quick run through the Bible on "Friendship" returned me Job and his friends, and the famous David and Jonathan pair. Maybe I'm a bit biased here, but it seems to suggest that having tight and small...but caring and loyal friends...not the quantity, but the quality, right?

I think, still fresh enough out of 1B (even though offical cram session for my 2A starts today) to remember what it's like to have a large number of mentors. As they all move out to Toronto...or Vancouver...or Calgary...over time they've all left Waterloo, until the grads of 2006 were just another name in memory in the halls of the University of Waterloo. I think, in a way, this may be the greatest danger of having only a handful of dedicated friends. Events like graduation can move them far, far away. Yet, it's totally unreasonable for me to request for them to stay. Afterall, they've served their time here (sometimes it DOES feel that bad. lol), and they're called elsewhere. I have realized, that from these mentors, I must suck as much wisdom and knowledge and good habits I can from them before they leave. Then...when I'm in their place, all aged up in 3rd and 4th year, I gotta do the same. All about passing on the torch, eh?

But these friends of mine, they've left. Leaving me with one less a mentor, and one less of a close friend. In a situation where any strong gust of wind could blow down this still growing house of mine, I realize I can't really live in the past, you know? I have to forge other bonds, and keep pushing on. Afterall, other people need support networks too. It's almost like a muturalism relationship. Yay...

Whenever we're talking about relationship (which really, is what friendship is, no?), it comes with talk about the guarding of the heart (Proverbs 4.23). The heart, which sometimes represented emotions (and still do), and sometimes the person's will (to the Hebrews), it's definitely an important thing to protect the very essence of yourself. By letting people close to you, you're allowing them to influence your decisions and thoughts, emotions and processes (1 Cor 15.33)... Obviously, each relationship bond we form is a risk. It's never a fun thing to get backstabbed. Thus we have to be careful...selective...about who we share our heart with. This isn't a light issue! So a tight knit support network...

For some reason, I'm thinking of the Love passage in 1 Cor 13. I'm not exactly sure what type of love it refers to, but perhaps it could shed some light on what a close relationship...a good relationship...a worthy relationship look like. Patience. Kindness. Not self-seeking. Not jealous.

I think, I get really annoyed with...well. There's this song. "Mood Ring" by Relient K. The people who are described in that song. Being carefree can be a bad thing sometimes, and...well. Approaching this logically. If I had a set of people who I can keep in connection that knows about my current struggles, all I have to do is give them an update instead of the whole story. They will be able to suggest courses of actions that I'd likely undergo, instead of totally left-field solutions. True, it can take a long time to reach that degree of friendship with someone. But I'd definitely say it's worth it. And sometimes, friendships just happen you know? I have this friend who I am able to figure out how she is doing and how I can help her with her struggles within a 5 minute conversation. How to achieve that? Trust, I guess? Maybe this is an exceptional case, but for someone who recently walked out of a prayer meeting, with people who doesn't feel the need to hide their tears as they pray...I dunno. I'd think with tears, a lot of emotions is behind a handful of water droplets. To let people see these emotions...isn't that trust, as well? And if a frosh is comfortable enough to do that to a prayer meeting group...how about two people?

I'm remembering the Armour of God (Eph 6) passage. It is often pointed out that we're not provided with back armour. In our own, we have to defend against all sides. But if I can stand beside a brother I can trust, all I have to do is defend on two. And if another brother is on my other side, that's only two sides to guard. And if we extend this wall of people to inifity...all each person has to do is guard two other people. But as a result, everyone's sides and back (since if no one can get pass us, they can't attack us from behind, right?) are now protected...to guard each other's backs if there are only two...or to guard each other's sides if there are many...each effort is few...but together we can achieve alot.

Yet. However great the friend is, the eternal warning is the source of power. People are human too...and humans make mistakes. They err. They make the wrong suggestions and blame the wrong things. Look at Job's friends' explainations. It's important that we help each other up, but ultimately, it is the responsiblity to repoint back to Him. God is like the 120V AC coming in through the wall. We're just a lowly 9V DC battery. People will come and go...but God will provide.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Corinthians 10.12-13

Theory

Alright. Lets relate something back to school here. In Engineering, the way I see it, they feed us about 2.5 years of theory, with sparse amounts of application stuff to keep us interested. I often end up reading about alot of things that we're suppose to do...it's like watching NHL. They make it look so easy. When you get onto the ice itself, that's where you get owned.

How does one know that he is right? How does he know he's applying the right theories to the right application? Really. It must be difficult to be a real Engineer. Or a Teacher. Or a Pastor. Or a Doctor. What a Researcher's findings are wrong? And the Engineer took this and applied it? I wonder how much Engineers take their Iron Ring seriously...

All it takes is one question on an assignment to tell you how much you truly don't know. Theory can only take you so far. Why does it feel like I've failed that one already...

Submission

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22.42

Jesus, at the garden of Gethsemane, on the Mount of Olives. Just sheer hours before His betrayal. His entire life, destined for this one event. He knows very well where He is headed...the Cross. He doesn't sound too ready...yet..."not my will, but yours be done." Since Relationship at Frosh Cell, I've given the concept of submission a thought...

1 Corinthians 11.4 states that "head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." Now. We live in a male-dominated world...or at least, a world were males get more respect than females. Sterotypes are still alive. Women are still being looked down upon. Are men more value than women? Is it because Eve was created from Adam? Was it because "the head of the woman is man"?

No. 1 Corinthanis 11.4 does not suggest importance or value, else we'd have something like God > Christ > Man > Woman. The Father is not greater than the Son...often in the Bible it says "the Father and the Son"...I can't exactly remember where, but somewhere else it says "Son and the Father"...if the Father is more important cuz He is always listed first, what about that instance where it says the Son and the Father? This is getting into tricky domain that I definately don't know enough about, but yeah. Need to read into the Trinity...

So yeah. This is about order, and not value. Christ is the model here...He said that He is able to call out and the Father will send him legions of angels to aid him. Yet He didn't. He didn't. Jesus didn't need the cross. You and I did. Submission indeed...to follow the Will of God all the way through.

It's like...the Perfect Machine. If every bit works as it supposed to, it's unstoppable. I could compare spiritual battling with hockey. It's interesting analogy actually. Maybe it'll come another time.

"All the Glory to God." - Jane Mok, CCF Program Director


It has occured to me that Event D most likely has occured already. I'm ready, but not ready. Sad, but not sad. Tired, but not tired. Well...evidently I'm not ready to handle collision events yet...

Leadership

I think I'm a little encouraged from recent events. Once again, lessons from the past are resurfacing...

It was an interesting experience. I went into prayer meeting today, intending on just praying for this one struggling friend of mine. So I sat down and listen to all the other people share and talk...their visions, dreams and goals for CCF. Their desires and hopes. For the people. For CCF. For themselves.

I think, with all the talk about the need for more leaders in CCF, that thought just protruded in my mind. I saw Herman flip through his Bible, and I felt the urge to do the same. Leadership. Alright. Even with the discussions we've had on the topic in recent days, I'm surprised that no one brought it up yet...but okay...flipping flipping...Leadership.

The first entry under Leadership was Moses. Nothing else was familiar or helpful to what I was thinking. I flipped over to Exodus...and there it was. The calling of Moses. The Burning Bush. Moses' excuses. Him getting sent. What an example. A dude that thought he was worth nothing...and yet lead his people out of Egypt...and the crossing of the Red Sea. Just...wow.

Amusingly, this story is used against me from time to time...times when I guess when people tells me to answer a calling..."God used Moses to pwn. He can use you too." (okay. so no one specifically said "pwn", but you know what I mean. lol)...and although I really didn't want to speak...the fact that I was reading this story...

Earlier today, PT's sermon was about Sharing Heartbeat. The simple joy of being with someone who shares similar passions. I started to think of why I serve. Sure, I'm sure the Word talks about serving as a duty of Christians, but when I'm up there balancing my soundboard or whatever AV I got my hands on...I'm not thinking of the Word...I'm doing it cuz it's fun! Passion...so what about it?

Reminded again...Auntie Maureen's words...passion is all a leader needs. He doesn't need to be a super Christian or can recite the Bible backwards... and remembering all the little actions and whatnot that I did at VBS...I'm sure not all the kids understood the things they were singing. Yet that wasn't why they were doing this, singing and jumping around. They were doing it because they're watching us do it. They're led by example.

Led by example. Just like how I was challenged deeply by Lue's dedication to prayer (she prayed whenever she drove anywhere. Including going from KWCAC to V1. She claims she doesn't pray enough.) Just like how Auntie's making dinner for me those times gave me the idea to bake for the CCF DC studying people last term. Just like how Mike Yung's words of how we need to knock on CCF's doors to truly gain (a call to service)...none of these three graduates did this with the intention of letting my frosh self gain anything in particular...they were simply being themselves. And I saw. And I was challenged to do so much more.

So if I'm serving because I'm passionate about what I'm doing, and I do it because I can "Share Heartbeat" with other people passionate about what they're doing (which would happen to be the same thing as what I'm doing, or else heartbeat sharing wouldn't occur!), we develop a deeper connection due to this commonality. That was the basis of PT's sermon.

At the same time, I remember I was talking to PT about the possible Australia STM...very clearly, I thinking I wouldn't be ready to do something like that...I mean, an STM? But then...who can ever be ready? What is ready? And really...if someone is ready, is he reliant on God? But that's not excuse to do nothing...

Now...combining PT's sermon with Auntie Maureen's words, then linking it to Moses' example... We serve together, bring us closer to people with the same passion. Anyone with a passion can be a leader. And if he doesn't feel ready? Look at Timothy. Or Gideon. Paul speaks of his own weakness and boasts about it, stating that...

"[God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'" - 2 Corinthians 12.7-9

Okay. If that wasn't enough, another one I remember once in a while is...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." - James 1.2-5

Right here. Two states that mentions the need to take on the challenge, that God's grace will be enough in the face of challenges. God provides.

I was staring at the Armour of God passage, since that's what we're going to do next week at CCF...this part stood out to me...

"Take ... the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..." - Excerpt from Ephesians 6.17-18

The sword of the Spirit. And we pray in the Spirit...relating prayer to sword...so we're immediately equipped with all these armour...and one weapon. A sword known as prayer. God provides indeed, and He gave us prayer.

Reminded again: PT's idea of growth of a church isn't how big it is...it is how much people serve in it. And I can't honestly think of anything negative of training more leaders. We already don't have enough...

I think I'm starting to understand a little. Of why Auntie's vision for CCF was what it was...

I remember...I was first exposed to this issue right after Winter Retreat 2006. And I felt the need to rise to the challenge. Today, I was able to share all this with two froshes. Perhaps they too...perhaps they too will rise up.

"And so we each should carry our torch...and burn the school down together!" - Auntie Ada Wong's vision for CCF

Random reflections

You said "Ask for the nations and it will be given to you." We've asked. And now...how do we do this? Every person is here for a reason and for a season. We're only holding a piece of the puzzle. Patience. Patience that He will guide us to the right people, give us the right words, determine the right time.


"[Jesus] also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher."" - Luke 6.39-41

I'm reminded over and over again. Passing on the torch. It's always like that. We're all only here for a handful of years. We only can do so much. And because of that, we gotta do what we can. I got a chance to share with a fellow CCFer my experiences in 1B, and that served to remind me a bit about stuff...
I often fall back to my puzzle piece analogy. We hold but one piece, after all. We often don't know the impact of our actions. Just thinking at my own 1B term...people like Eric, Lue, Herman, Alex, Auntie, Karen...and Johnny, Mike, Jane...perhaps to them, it was opening their house to a frosh. Or insisting that prayer meetings are important. Or handing down old labs and notes. Or a few simple words of encouragement. A few lessons in how to run AV. A few random meals. Words of wisdom.

And through all that, I think two things really touched me. One was the ability to stick with these grad students...well...grads now...and see what they're really like. Not the fancy "I am old, wise and mature" facade that we as froshes attach automatically to them, but to see them as one of us...to be able to relate to them (sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing that I've inherited Karen's bitterness about ECE already or not...). To be able see hey, they're not that scary after all...

I've spent some time trying to piece together what 1B was like to me. I find it hard to believe that I went from a single frosh, lost in the sea of faces, to ... well. Where I stand (sit, rather. Tired from hockey. lol). Was it Winter Retreat, that I was convinced to go at the last minute? Was it Lifesong promotions and AV? Was it Grad Video? I dunno...each of these events were pivotial...but in talking to people...if these events were that piviotal, then my participation and growth from it was due to a simple reason...

I got prayed for.

No seriously. In regards to Retreat: "She asked me to pray for this frosh. I didn't know who he was, but I did anyway."
In regards to Lifesong AV: "If you really care for a frosh, pray for him."
In regards to Grad Video: Well. The only real thing I can say that He can use any given event to cause waves...oh wait. I do have a quote: "Froshes don't have minds of their own." Hahaha...

So I was guided here, dispite the posibility of not making it in. I suffered when I did not have a proper support network in 1A. I was prayed for and got integrated in 1B.

I didn't eat any healther (in fact, V1 food meant I gained 8 pounds -_-)...or did better at school (still got owned by CRTs. grrr...)...I went to CCF towards the end of 1A...so that didn't really change either.

Prayer. It had to be the prayer. And if a handful of prayer managed to integrate me into CCF...well. That's pretty impressive, I'd say.


"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4.8-9

I think, that's what every grad ulitmately wishes to say before leaving. "If I have been good, and an example to follow, please do." I think I wrote about this a while ago, but it just popped into mind, so I'll include it again. We only have so long here. What to do...what to do...what to do? Be an example. Lead by walking, and not by talking. We might just get somewhere yet.

Alright. As annoyance towards recent stuff...getting owned by froshes already...oyy...
"Now, all you need is strawberry milk..." - Ken Woo, Frosh
"Triple A beef man..." - Allison Wong, Frosh

Little exhortations

Today a strange thing happened at a, what otherwise would be a normal Frosh Cell planning meeting. I got a random text message, sent through the online text system.

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4.13

Came to the conclusion that it was some random CCF person, since a few other CCFers got something as well. Whoever it is, thanks. It came a little late to save me from Calculus-3, but it was encouraging indeed. It came at a time when we're preparing to ramp into the idea of serving in FC...what does it take to serve?

No. Not skills (well. that'd help. haa.) Not charisma. Not any special "level" you have to achieve or whatnot. Just one thing. Willingness. It seems like I'm contracting what I've referred to just a few days ago, but remembering my own experiences...

Sometimes...it's not the big fancy roles. NSR coordinator. Frosh Cell leader. Sometimes it's the everyday stuff. KWCAC AV. Prayer. And once in a while, it's the little things...baking for CCF peoples. Random emailing. A phone call at 12.30AM. Haa...

"...but those who hope in the LORD renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40.31

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41.10

Hum. Someone put effort into this. Thank you.

Okay. I can't resist. "[CS course on accounting systems] talks about the accounting system and suck" - Amantha Ho (random typo. "Suck" was suppose to be "such", but she was telling me how screwed she was for that MT, so...lol such a good typo. laughed for a bit. haaa)

Once again...

I've come to realize, sometimes the people that are best suited for a particular job isn't interested. And sometimes people who arin't suited, but just have an interest, are slotted in. I'm sure we all have our share of bad TAs and profs. So why arin't the better suited people interested? I dunno. I'm sure I've read somewhere about this...maybe it's just the "Gattaca" effect (great movie, btw.)

So once again I'm wondering. Once again I'm thinking. Once again I'm questions. What does it take to be an engineer...and who else is here...and how do we do this...I wonder...did You ever have to face this?


Once Again - Matt Redman

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing, poured out to death
Many times I've wondered at Your gift of life
And I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again

And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I marvel at Your saving grace
And I'm full of praise once again
I'm full of praise once again

Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross
Thank You for the cross, my Friend


"Rah." - Josh Lo, 2A Chemical Engineering

Winter Conf

For some reason I've thought of random events in the past. A few of them, pertaining to my Walk, stood out a little more than others. I think, a really pivotal event was Winter Conference.

Looking at the after-effect, there is definitely a few effects that lingered for a bit...

- Glass box: In reference to that desire to "seek answers from the world"...we all had times where we're just searching for our place (indeed, many of us are still there), or seeing something that looks appealing from the outside, but when we actually got there, was not what we thought it was. "Grass is greener on the other side," right? So imagine being locked in a glass box, always seeing the "ideal" world... but sometimes, we find that, once we're actually there, the "ideal" isn't so "ideal" anymore...being careful of what you ask for. Know what you're asking for. Know yourself well enough to know what to ask for.

- Spiritual high: For myself, exiting events like the Conference...or Retreats, we tend to get a kind of a sugar high off of things. Just really passionate about stuff, until eventually the mundane life kicks in and we're re-introduced to reality. I complain about this sometimes, yet... what is the key? What's the difference between attending a massive conference in a fancy hotel and singing with 5000 people, as oppose to standing in a classroom and singing with 120 people? What's the difference between praying or reading or listening in that type of environment...and doing the exact same thing at home? Can't remember where it is, but the Bible states that whenever two or more gathers in His name, He is there. I think, because we don't put as much focus on daily prayer and devos, we lose out on certain focus...we lose out on seeing the bigger picture...we lose out...

- Walking: Complacency is a huge thing to struggle against. Sure, sometimes we can say "it's good enough" to things...but there are stuff that can't be compromised. As an Engineering student, one of the first things that was driven into us was, whatever we do, it matters. Engineers, unlike the other professions like lawyers, don't tend to have bad names. And whenever an engineering flaw occurs, it get ripped apart in the media (Quebec bridge collapse, anyone? 1918, I believe), and we as an engineering community learn a bit more. I guess I'm think of the stuff I wrote about yesterday as well...investing in the future generations...humans are indeed social creatures. Society is built by people, not by one person. We associate with each other in order to strive forward, to learn from each other. To depend on each other, to walk together. I'm not saying that we keep driving everyone forward. I've come to realize that's impossible. But pick a few people. Stick with them. You never know...to the grads, it was a handful of steps with a frosh. To that frosh, it may have been another pivotal event that changed his point of view forever.

Life begins at university? Maybe. After we got out of all our angry teen years during...our angry teen years. After we've been punished enough outside the box to want to crawl back in. *shrug* we'll see?

Ohoh. When you see the letters STM, what do you think of first?

"A photon is energy in form of light. A phonon is energy in form of vibration." - ECE209

Leadership

Don't know how much CCF here ppl comes here...had to step away from the place for a while, so I dropped by WCF today instead, and had a listen to share about the points of leadership today. Though it was not any particularly deep, it did remind me a bit of the talk Auntie Maureen gave me ... 6 month ago? The speaker quoted this verse:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice." - Philippians 4.8-9

Wow. How much of us can say that? "Whatever you've seen in me, do it?" To have so much confidence in your self-character to want other people to look to you and know that this is the role model they could look to.

So. Lets plunk down some mentorship stuff, since I have this loaded up anyway...pulling points from the CCF Fall Retreat...

- Don't belittle humble beginnings. The CCF that we call home was once meeting in the basement of a professor
- Invest in the people around you, especially the younger generations. We cannot realize what the effects of our influences are now...the younger ones are the one that will continue the fellowship...the school...the society...the world... not even just when we're here at university, when we return home too. Support the students -> and mentor
- I'm consistantly university will be a unique time. Very few oppotunties like University will occur...the community we have here will not be the same once we've graduated and scattered across the world, each to our places. Make good use of it. Develop your mind. Read good books. Walk.
- And in the next 4, 5 years, people will change. So stay connected with your friends. Or else you will find that, once you're home, home is a totally different environment... stay connected! University friends, home friends alike. Hard, I know, and I've been pretty bad at this. I try harder once in a while though. Haaa...

And mentorship...
- Communication
- Balance and shifting of responsibilties
- Pray
- Maintain focus
- And lift up the rest to Him

Almost forgot my random point (no quote today): Scanning Tunneling Microscope. *nods*

Second Law

Newton's Second Law of Motion: F = ma
I finally got a degree of understand of Schrodinger's equation yesterday. In case you don't happen to know any Quantum Mechanics, Schrodinger's equation basically said F = ma isn't good enough anymore. Think of it as the F = ma of particles and atomic sized stuff. It gives allowance to quantum tunneling, the ability for electrons to "disappear" and "reappear" somewhere else... funny how things look from another environment and perspectives.

Second Law of Thermodynamics: All reaction releases heat; no process is 100% efficient.
For some reason, I'm thinking of Moore's Law. You know. Every 24 month, the number of Integrated Circuits you can cram onto a given board is doubled. I read something we're approaching the theoretical limit of Moore's Law...things are so small, we can't just minimize things...cuz the effects of quantum mechanics will apply to things that small. It's like a exponential graph! Always some limit to things, even if we can't see it now...


"Real big men that go arg!" - Marianne Heppleston, UWCCF DL

Report from MTL

I could be working. lol. Sorry for all you non-Waterloo audience. This one is pretty much for the locals (local used loosely here. Waterloo-Toronto-Montreal area).

Congrats to Rebecca and Jackson. They got married at Montreal, Quebec this Saturday (Oct 7), so a few of us from CCF, MCCF and KWCAC bused/drove down...14 hours of net travel time. oyy...

However, Montreal gives off quite a different feel. Most of its buildings have a very European feel to them. Very cool. It's like one of them movies with European stuctures. All the red "Arret" signs, complete with accents on the e. ~50 cloth shops on St. Catherines Street. Ownage ambiance at Montreal Alliance. Yeah...I think MCAC feels better than MCAGC, but MCAGC was also built downtown, so they didn't really have the space to expand... The driving was kind of nuts though. I'm surprised no one got nailed with all the ... car shuffling that happened on HWY-20 (or rather AUT-20)...

As for the wedding itself...I dunno. It's cool being able to attend a wedding + reception and actually know the groom and bride, but I guess it's your typical wedding. Reception had AV problems (lol. chalk it up to me to shiver at the feedback eh...hey, Herman was doing it too!). Haaa...I felt like a physist watching a sci-fi movie, pointing out all the physics flaws.

Once we got back into Toronto, we had some time to waste before Grayhound arrived, so Eric was nice enough to drive us (well. me I guess, since Lue and Steve would know TO already) around. I have to say...UT campus >> UW campus...any random building looks better than UW's MC...sigh... it's too bad I didn't step onto McGill's campus too. I would've been on 3 campuses in one day. lol.

Alright. I don't think I'll be going on a road trip anytime soon. Stuck in a car for 14 hrs...once a term might already be too much ><

"No capes!" -Edna Mode (yes, the random quotes will get more random as times goes on)

40 ms

Can't remember where I read it from...but 40 milliseconds is the amount of time between each "refresh". Yup. We as humans see the world in 40ms pictures. Cool random bio trivia.

The other day, in PSYCH101, Ennis was talking about Regression to the Mean. "The truly unusual day is when nothing unusual happens." Given the amount of people there are on this planet, the number of events that occur, statically speaking, people should be winning lotteries multiple times..."An event that happens to but one in 1 billion people every day occurs about 6 times a day..." -> Open Mind, but Skeptical Eye

Anyways. Been stacked with school and CCF stuff for the last bit. With midterms coming up...oy...but we had Frosh Cell again today... cooking night, at my place, random reportings from the night then...

- We crammed at least 16 people into a 4 people suite's kitchen/common area
- Because we didn't have enough bowls and other stuff, we ended up using various pots, rice cooker...rice holder pots..., Tupperware containers to hold things. A bowl to mash potato. A pan as a lid to a pot. Scissors to cut lettuce. A pot to mix concentrate juice. It's too bad myself, Josh or Betty didn't have cameras, or else it'd would've been awesome scene. lol. Not having measuring cups when we had to bake, to find out the oven was busted later on.
- Had to share about certain stories of mine...such as my strawberry milk/KD event...
- But on a more useful point, had to remind the froshes not to skip out on homework, to ask upperyears lots of questions, to balance out in things

Things are going alright I guess. Need more sleep ><

And inserting random stuff from the Mentor workshop: "Invest in the kids"...those of you slackers reading this, go do VBS. It's good.

And lastly, since it's released online...
UWCCF Lifesong, Fall 2006: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=JJStiles

"Walking away from a past I can't return to, through a present I don't belong in, to a future that is hard to believe in"

More random splurging

I think it finally hit me. I'm in second year. My comrades are in second year. We're second year. We've survived a long, challenging, but definating not unrewarding first year, and now we must take on more. We're no longer froshes. We now have responsibilties. Roles. Positions to fill. Jobs to do. People to build up. Places to go. Things to achieve.

Sometime during our small group time at the first Frosh Cell meeting (today)...as I explain what CCF is, and speak of my own experiences from first year...

As I walked home a frosh who lived at UWP as well...

As I speak with people concerned about their future, their health, their schooling, their life, their own comrades...

Even as I write this...I've realized that I've came a long way. Not quite the naive little frosh kid that walked through the doors of SLC so many days ago. No where close to the person I envision myself to be.

As people come to me for advices...guidance...even (gasp!) role model...I wonder...am I ready? am I correct? am I sure? am I who I need to be at this particular moment? am I focused, once again?

"Praying hard" -Noel Tsang

NSR speech

Kind of want to write something, but it'd take a while to gather enough thoughts to put something up for mentorship, so that'll come a little later. Don't really want to cheap out and post random lyrics either, so I guess I'll just put this up.

---
New Student Reception: Speech (Sept 11, 2006)

What is fellowship? The early fellowship was simple. Acts 2 states that "every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts...[breaking] bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people." It was basically a group of Christians that eat, praised and helped each other out. 2000 years later, the world is a bit different than what it used to be, but the very concept of fellowship is very much still the same.

I started applying to the University of Waterloo back in January of 2004. Didn't really try that hard, since I didn't really think it'd be worth it to go to the other side of the country. Kind of did it to please my parents. You know how it is. Being typical Calgarian, my first choice was the University of Alberta. Just far away that my parents can't nag, but close enough to return home when I wanted to. One sunny afternoon in the middle of March, I got a random postcard from UW's Engineering, telling me I could continue my application. A week before the official deadline.

By the time I had gathered everything I needed for the application, it was already 5 weeks late. My marks was a good 5% below the acceptance standard. My Chemistry teacher, who wrote my reference letter, knew I was slacking off in her class and could've easily given me a bad reference. My AIF was only half completed. A few miscommunication emails flew between me and the First Year Office. And yet, through all that...I've just finished my first day of lectures, in 2A Electrical Engineering.

For some reason, I was called out to this university, 1500 miles from home. Before leaving, I asked all the university students I knew the typical questions. How is engineering? What's university like? What about co-op? Is resident food really that bad? I got really mixed answers. Some people tell me they're having the time of their life. Others tell me it's not cool. They all agree res food really is that bad. By the way, don't eat the Chinese food at V1. You'll thank me later.

Fellowship, like school, is really what you make of it. If you put the time and effort in it, you'll be able to walk away from this school with a little more than you came in with. A graduate from last year once said "[Fellowship] needs you to ask, to seek, to knock, for it to have any meaning in your life." And I've found that to be very true.

What you do with the next four, five years here at Waterloo is really up to you. You could run for your society government. You could participate in the juggling club. You could join the engineering teams and help build things like the Midnight Sun solar car. You could be Edcom. You could knock on the doors of any of the six fellowships that are represented here today.

Each of the upperyears standing in this room were all once a frosh. We've all been homesick, or got nailed with a few bad midterms. We've all had long nights, and I'm pretty sure we've all gained weight from Frosh 15, even if we're too proud to admit it. Each of us has a story to tell. My hope is that next year, it would be one of you standing up here, delivering this speech to the new incoming class. We're all here for a reason. I might not know what that reason is. You might not. I'm pretty sure most, if not all, of the upperyears in this room are as clueless as you are! But He knows. And that's what counts.

There will be hard crunch times sometimes, but you know, that's university. We're all in this together. And all you need to do is to ask. To seek. To knock. Welcome to the University of Waterloo.

NSR

What is NSR? New Student Reception. Got a whole bunch of fellowships together, spewed a bit to some kids. Utter choas at some point. But it was alright at the end. It was alright.

So why did I do it? Why was I crazy enough to take on such a role after denying it before? Maybe a few reasons. Maybe I want to watch over the froshes. Maybe I wanted to gain some leadership skills. Maybe I just like to yell at people and watch things happen, like a manager. Maybe I'm subjected to trial by fire, having to speak before 90+ people...

I don't know. NSR just happened. Just like how Frosh Cell will happen. Just like how Lifesong will happen. I've liken myself to a Knight piece on a chess board. The odd piece that moves around funny. But decent when the enemy is unaware. Decent when I know what I'm doing. You gotta be smart to own with the knight. I used to think I was a guy that made things happen. Not really? I'm just a knight that the Player uses to make things happen.

A little tired, but got a reminder call the other day from someone unexpected. 12 minute long distance, but it was a good reminder nevertheless. And for that I just gotta fight a little harder.

Oh. The froshes are here. Alright...lets get to work. Good luck y'all.

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." - Ecclesiastes 9:10

Frosh Week

Thought it'd be kind of cool to document random events over the course of Frosh week...extremely random, I know. lol. More serious material will come some other day.

Name: Clockwork (Smurf)
Team: Light blue (more like baby blue...)
HQ Location: RCH 306
Rank: Big

Events.Interesting
- Creating a 8ft paper-machie (yes I can't spell. Meh) smurf
- Paper-machining my shoe laces to the bottom of my shoe
- "When you see a fire, do not run. It instills panic. You have to walk away quickly." *proceeds to 'Waterloo March' across RCH101 - Murph (Rank: Super huge)
- "Rule one: Impress Edcom. Rule two: Impress Edcom. Rule three: Honour the TOOL" - Jay (Rank: Headcom) Oh...Rule 3 isn't impress Edcom?
- Dumperster diving for cardboard at V1...it wasn't that bad. Froshes tend to leave alot of cardboard around. Didn't actually have to go into a dumpster full of garbage.
- Ah. They don't magically appear. There was black cloth materials hiding the TOOL!
- Explaining to kids why they can't use the most convient door to the SLC on "Joint Event"...150 times
- The fire alarm at the "Joint Event"
- Doing securities at Toga, and trying to guess which toliet stall is smoking weed
- Listening to random Edcom radio chatter at the Washroom location
- Listening to the "Wash your hands" cheer at Toga...yeah...that was some cheer there...they must've been some enggs...probably scared a few froshes

Relationship - Like vs Love

"More today than yesterday. More tomorrow than today." Heard this twice over the last little bit...first time was this 722 sermon (good stuff btw. Love and Marriage. A friend sent it to me. Give me a shout if you're interested), the second was this random song I heard on the radio. No idea what it was, but yeah...

Whatever assumptions and ideas I had about "liking" and "loving" I'll clear right now by redefining those two words.

Like: "to feel attraction toward or take pleasure in", "to wish to have" (Webster's Dictionary Online)

Emotionally driven. This is that feeling you can't explain. This is why I eat chocolate or listen to rock music. This is why I read manga or play video games. This is why I prefer hanging out with certain people than others. Because it feels good. Because, for some reason, when I'm reading manga with music in the background, it feels good. Now, I understand that this term (in relations to people anyway) can be further broken down into two subcategories (ie, liking someone friend-wise, or liking someone relationship-wise) but I'll be focused on the relationship stuff today.

So liking someone. It feels good to hang out with them. To talk to them, to walk with them, etcetcetc. It is possible to like based on very little. Likewise, it can take little to stop liking someone.

Love: "affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests", "warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion", "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another" (Webster's Dictionary Online)

Emotionally and knowledge driven. Might I suggest that our society uses this word all too lightly? I like chocolate, but to develop a warm attachment or devotion to it? I don't think so. Might I further suggest that we do not develop such feelings towards something unknown? Lets pull this verse from the Bible...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13.4-7

I'm still forming the argument, but this is what I am suggesting: It is impossible to "fall in love at first sight." Love involves trust (developed by communication), not self-seeking (there is no way "first sight" will tell you enough about the person for you to be able to share in his/her goals)

Many people operate on that "first sight" thing, and assume that their feeling is one of love. There really isn't much for them to compare against, cuz if that's all they operate on, that feeling is the most extreme they'll ever feel. If we relabeled this scale...and say its possible to "like on first sight"...and that love is only developed (by patience. by kindness. by truth)...maybe we wouldn't be in such a mess we are in today.

Click

Just finished watching the movie. It's interesting. Reminds me of that other movie...Family Guy? Family Man? Nicholas Cage. Though Click is more comedy based. I dunno. Movies like this always makes me think. We don't have a second chance to do things. We don't have the ability to live an alternative life, and see what we're missing...

I suppose. Movies like this. Life really is about the people. I suppose I should try harder. This term really has gone by too fast. And I don't even have a fast forward button. A few more random reflections...

- Talking to a friend back at home. On more then one occasion she had to beat some sense into me. In some ways, she held onto ideals I thought I held onto very strongly, yet she showed me very clearly that all I did was drop it cuz it was the easiest thing to do. And that's not how to do things. Gift from God...I'm not. But friendship is. Loyalty. I'm sure I'll need this reminder over and over again...will have to count on you for that one. Haa...Thanks...

- Encouraging a frosh coming from Churchill. Email another who I haven't talked to for a good five years. It's amazing on how they've grown. Heading straight first into environments they've never been to...seen before...ready to take it all on without any support or knowing anyone. I was able to help one...but the other, I'll just have to pray for...

- Leading a group in VBS and working with kids...and people who feel like kids. Haa... never really thought I might miss some of them. A few terms ago, I definitely wouldn't have given Sunday School another thought...but then, a few terms ago, I wasn't really walking either... something about their energy and drive. Can't lose that. Can't ever lose that. It's just like focus... you lose what you should be focused on, it's GG... and the most you can do is hope that someone else will walk with you and bring you back. And VBS did that.

- Facing the "Panel of men" after getting my man status revoked. It was funny yes. I rather they not have put me on the spot like for mis-identifying beef...it wouldn't even have been that bad, but then I DO come from Calgary...fun...no, I refuse to eat beef for a term...

And tomorrow is the last day of work. This time tomorrow, I'll be sitting in my UWP room, planning for NSR again. Emailing people. Getting in my last hellos before school locks me back into the system. And so it goes. I'm not even gone yet and already I miss work term. Just a little bit.

Find myself thinking of a few people right now. A small family in 1987. A few aunties in 1990. The family in 1991. A handful of kids in 1994. Another handful in 1996. Yet another handful in 1998. The grads of Sr.Rock in 2002. Churchill's IB class of 2005. The Engineering grads of 2006. VBS crew of 2006. And so forth.

Lets go.

Term Reflection

It's 12.20, but I should get this released...

I think, alot of things happened this term. Hockey. VBS. CCF Coffeehouse. Work as a programmer. Cooking for myself. Doing dumb things like Mac and cheese + strawberry milk. Surviving off sandwiches. Breaking my own record by eating 5 sandwiches in one day. Getting my first paycheque. Burning all my savings on tuition. Random late night discussions with CCF people. Engineering Convocation. Prep for Frosh Week and NSR. And so forth.

Among that, I've learned many things. But the most profound thing...reminded that I only hold a piece of the puzzle. And He's got the box with the picture on it. And really...I can only see so much. And if I can help, then great. If I can't...well. He must have His reasons.

A funny thing comes to mind. The other day, me and two of my co-workers piled into his car, we're going out for lunch. Being indecisive, Sunny just started his car and drive forward and said "Jon, decide now. Right or left." Naturally, I paniked. I just blurt out "left", and off we went. At the next intersection, again, "right or left"...and so we were like that until we reached A&W and Quiznos. But wow. Reminded me one thing... start knowing where you're going. With the end in mind. And if the plan coincides with His...it'll happen. Otherwise, you'd be like some random kid in a car, blurting out right and left, hoping that it will lead to a place to eat.

Lastly, the most motivating things might not always come in big packages...but small things too. It may be a gentle river...or a wind in the trees...even a swan romping around a bunch of ducks. Yeah...there's swans and ducks at the Stratford river...was watching them after Twelfth Night. They were just walking around...then they got into the river. Duck's massive underwater paddling. Perseverance.

And so here we go. Fall term of 2006, commencing in 5 days. 2A...here I come...

Current planned agenda: Frosh Week. NSR. School. Frosh Cell. Lifesong. Jackson + Rebecca's wedding. Find job in London. More pending...

Whew. Lets do it.

Matthew 6.9-13

Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be Your Name.
Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we have also forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

- New International Version

Woman > Man?

Now that KWCAC's VBS has ended, I had a bit of time to reflect on what I've learned over the week. I think the most profound and benefitting lesson I've gained is... never get a man to do a woman's job.

No seriously. I got seriously owned on two occasions this weekend (I'm sure there was more cases, but these two are the only ones I remember):

1. Candy wrapping. The cellophane was fine. Afterall, we can scrunch up cellophane and it'd still be okay. However...when we ran out of cellophane... the wrapping paper trial known only as "prototype" didn't fare so well. It quite literally look like a scrunched up piece of paper, and attempts to do it "present" style failed cuz Wallace, Bryan and myself (two engineers and a ex-physicist) can't wrap worth beans. We would be saved by plastic baggies that we found at Zehrs. What we could've done was consult a girl. I was talking to Joanna later on, and yeah. She could've used wrapping paper and still made it pretty. We got owned. Conclusion? We really need PT's Life Skills lessons...

2. Powerpoint. So I spend the better part of the day messing around with the VBS slideshow, and was feeling fairly satisfied with what I ended up with. Not good, but not overly crappy, considering the intent is to put on as much pictures as possible. Then Irena handed me her part. No wonder she spent two hours on it...her three slides simply blew away my 40+. With all the fancy angling, slide/picture transitions, Photoshop, and get this: sound effects. She had sound effects...here I am, an university engineering student, got pwned by little...I dunno. 14 year old girl?

The only concrete conclusion I can draw is that I don't have enough artistic inclination to fill a egg cup. I'm sure I can do all sorts of analysis on this, but I'll leave that to the amusement of the females reading this. Will return to typical Jon reflections on next entry. Hmm...technically this could count as random reflections...

Lyrics - Cartoon Heros by Aqua

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme

Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

-chorus-
We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

-chorus2-
Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

(chorus + chorus2)

You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do

(chorus)

There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town
Party

Random - Incoherent 1

Why must it consistently be so difficult? To walk with my brothers and sisters, to see, to hear, to feel... I have asked and seeked and knocked... but I can't proceed anymore. And I'm not exactly sure why...

Today I was reminded that I really am holding only one piece of the puzzle. I seem to be pulling those things alot, reverse bouncing ideas. It's always interesting... and I think the person I was talking has forgotten my initial blunder...

Even though I realize I hold only one piece, I think I'm still in the mood that I want more... that's just how people are. Only want more... I need to pray... yet when that's all you can do... well...

Yes, this was highly incoherent. I expect only two specific people to understand any part of this, but one of them doesn't know about this place. The other probably already knows what I'm talking about...

These are the harder burden to carry. Knowing just enough to fall, but not enough to stand back up again. I listened, heard and understood... but it doesn't mean I like it. Reminder to pray...

We have mutated, from what we was...to who we are.

Random - 高峰必飛

By and by, Highwind flies,
Through dark and morning gray.

Twilight heights, dawning breeze,
May light, guide the way.

Wavering winds, banded might,
Two more to overcome.

Every storm, every fight,
Has beginning, end and sight.

The captain flies, with the ship,
His, wind not take.

Come to call, rallied hand,
Fly for Highwind's sake.

Anime - Samurai Jack Eps14

Recently I've started watching Samurai Jack. Old anime I know, but it's not that bad actually. I haven't gotten through alot of it, but so far my favourite episode is Episode 14 - Jack Learns to Jump Good.

A bit of background...Jack is a dude who got sent to the future when he attempted (and almost succeeded) from stopping Aku, the bad guy, from taking over the world. He spend his time searching for ways to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku.

In this episode, Jack runs into a Tarzan character, who's monkey tribe has the ability to jump several hundred feet into the air. In exchange for teaching the monkeys how to defend themselves from an aggressive ape tribe, they taught Jack how to jump. Gradually, Jack too gained the ability to leap without bound.

A classic lesson of perseverance, Jack's training paid off when he was able to leap into the path. Sometimes a classical example is just what we need to remind ourselves of where we are. When faced with a big task like NSR or VBS, or CCF Comittee...or even if it is something like walking with a friend, challenging an exam...yes, even learning to jump a hundred yards into the air...

There'll be people around us to push us along. For us to look forward to. For us to guide. There were all at our place at one point. We could do it too.

"Aku!"

"Samuri fool, your efforts are vein again. This gateway to the past is once more beyond your reach...you can fly?!"

"No. Jump good!"

Random - entropy1

Someone said she was stressed today. I think that's an understatement...

As work term starts to move into its last month and half, and lectures are ending soon, we're all running around. A bit worried perhaps. A bit paniky. Many of us are probably looking forward to next term and the challenges it brings. 2A will be an insane term, true, but hey...

Hmm. July 20th. Still got a bit of time before I join the ranks of "adults", leaving behind the wildness of 18. What's the random wisdom I've gained over the last little bit? Be coherient.

Nono. I think it really would be to be... "Fight on"... cuz God is still watching, even when no one else is.

Random - Self

The only real words of wisdom I can offer today is "Know Thyself"

Know Thyself. Thy strength, thy limitations. Thy weakness, thy gifts. Thy thoughts, thy actions. Thy intentions, thy goals. Know Thyself.

Know yourself well enough that you won't walk up one day and realize the footsteps you've been following was your own...

Random - untitled

I should be loading more things into this place. It has been a good week, in terms of spirital content and whatnot I've gained. The weekend has been busy, but often torn between priories...

- some old friends have knocked on my door. pray that I'll be able to lead them the right way...
- grads moving onto the "real world"...
- the various people here...
- co-op in Calgary (hopefully...todo list 1)
- housing (oy...)

between this and that, translating what I've gained into word form hasn't been progressing well. But blog can only take you so far. I'll append to this entry as I get things done and have some time to chuck. But till then, I'll end this with a words from Evie...

"...be bold. Be bold in your faith. Go out there, take that friend out to coffee. Share the Gospel with that person."

-Evelyn Fu (CCF Grad, 06)

Lyrics - Perspectives by Kutless

"Perspectives"
By Kutless

It feels like your life's crashing down all around you
Let me ask if it's really so bad
Look at the world in it's suffering
Can you honestly tell me that no one else could understand
All of the hurting inside

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

A young child looks through a great stained glass window
Watching the people go by
Everyone seems to be wearing a red coat
His mother sees jackets in white
Now he can't understand why does she see it this way

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

Yesterday, you really couldn't see
By changing your angle a new world would be
Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees

Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same

CCF Grads 06 - Legends be legends

It's interesting. Talking to grads, when they reflect on our position, in CCF and whatnot, none of the ones I talked to expressed any disgruntleness on where CCF is being taken. True, we have problems. True, our size is proving to be more of a burden than we first expected, but...

Often we dream for things we can't take. Can't possess. Something materialistic. Some state of mind. Some fitness condition. Some skills perhaps. Some team. Some knowledge. Since we don't have it, we guess at what it's really like. Preconceptions. Fragments of the past and present, ideas of others, from TV and whatnot... trying to imagine what it's really like. Often though, it's not it. The way I see it, wisdom comes in two forms. One is acquired wisdom, the other being inherent wisdom. Inherent wisdom is easy to see. Famous example. Solomon's prayer for the ability to govern his people. God gave it to him right there. Many of us though, have acquired wisdom. Not given to us directly, but through lessons...though life events...though the words of other people...

" In our Christian walk we shouldn't settle for someone else's story, someone else's testimony. Rather we should go to God and ask for our own story. So I encourage to go get your own testimony...the testimony that God has planned for you. "

-Eric Cheng

I've never understood that until this weekend. I always thought that was obvious. No two people are the same, right? But like I mentioned in my last post, I just thought that...if we can mimic what CCF had before, we can bring that all back. The unity. The free discussion. The community. Yet...that's not quite true, is it? Generation and culture gaps, even between the now grads and us first and second years, is a bit noticeable. We approach things differently. CCF is a very community-based organization. What points do we have anchoring each generation of CCF together? A handful of doctrines. A few mandates. One faith. But the people who implement these ideas are no different than us. Committee isn't some insane "super-Christian" elitists...they're students just like you and me! People are different, so CCF understand a different set of hands will be different too.

That is university. People coming and going, each bring with them their own set of ideas. The grads have a point though. It's great to borrow ideas from the past...to see how they did things...to try to learn from their mistakes, to take a glimpse of their successes... but... we can't live in the past. We are dealing with people. And people are not stationary in time. It's quite possible to achieve tighter community with the current CCF. Yes, we're like scattered matches. Yes, we're wandering aimlessly. Yes, it's all going to be difficult. But we have to take some steps. We have to recognize this...

True, matches isn't going to be enough to stand against tomorrow's winds. But if we focus...gather...stand together...we'll still reach somewhere. Before we try to burn down the campus...lets try to set CCF ablaze ...

By prayer? By all means, let us pray then.

Reference: Lue Lau, Lue's friend Jessica, Eric Cheng, Maureen Wu, Vanessa Li

CCF Grad 06 - Disjunctioned Reflections

Exodus 4 - Moses of the Levites
"'Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since thou hast spoken to Thy servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.'" - Verse 10

Moses is quite a character. Against odds, he survived the Pharaoh's purging of his generation. He escaped again after his run-in with the Egyptian. Now, he has just witnessed the burning bush and walked on holy grounds. God is calling him, and that was all he could say.

"And the Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him dumb or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?'" - Verse 11

Yet those of you who's read this passage would know Moses still resists, and only agreed to return to Egypt when God allowed Aaron to help him speak. Familiar story, I know. It's a nice reminder of our own fragility, and how He reigns.

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If this next part feels disjunctioned, it's cuz it is. This is the second day. Haa...
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I've probably came closest I'd ever would to post-2005 CCF. I was conversing with a certain upper-year (that probably had a larger hand in all of this then I realize...)...

"how when [current CCF] gather, we're bring matches together...but when [the "other" fellowship...UWCCF of the old] gathered, you guys brought torches?"

Coming from Sr. Rock (no offense to Sr. Rock leadership of 2004 and 05), and seeing CCF, it was a leap. Seeing the old CCF, though pictures, grads' stories, videos, quotes...was a separation I never thought was possible. It was almost like... with each graduating year, they take with them not only the people...the wisdom...but the spirit...the flame that is CCF. But that can't be right. In their years, they had grads too. Yet in their time, I see another world. Another fellowship. I can't even find the proper words to describe it all...

It's coming together now. Passion. Apathy. Empathy. Spirit. Leadership. Friendship. Prayer. Worship. Studying. Unity. Sharing. Communication. Coordination. Fellowship.

How did we manage to lose that to the sands of time? How did we manage to lose the very essence of fellowship? Is it really us? The people? The apathy? I've realized...I was playing with static... then I discovered a battery, satisfied with the power it stored. Now, He has set before me, a thunderstorm. What a Burning Bush situation...

Why am I being called? Of all of them, why me? Have You really equiped me with enough? I've already walked though the Door, with the Key You've have granted me...Keep this torch burning, oh God of Heavens. I have heard Your calling. I will go, if You lead me.

"...the [CCF] community [was] very different. in terms of.. what we did together. our topics of conversation. we still did stupid things. but we did MANY serious things together as well. westcourt was different than it is now :D i hope to have it come back to this ccf. all of us upper years are praying that it does"

Random - Choir

Hmm. Three postings in one day. I think I've reached some sort of record here...

As I browse through random people (well. not really random. I know all these people)'s blogs, reading stories, trials, and thoughts, it really drove home the thoughts of last posting. I think, we sometime lose track of other people who walks the same road as you do when things are difficult. It's hard to keep in that in mind. Something experience has taught me over and over again...when you're down, it's hard to keep things in proper perspectives. Reading people's entires, reminded me of 1B exam session all over again, where everynight I HAD to lift it all back to Him...I'd have no way of passing if I didn't. And God provides...and I did way better then I thought I did... I've never felt closer to His presence, with the 10PM prayer meeting everyday, people dragging me out just to pray... made me put things into the order it was meant to be placed in. All was good.

Yet...when I was home in Calgary, or in Stratford for co-op...I lost that. PDEng is annoying, but not really a challenge. Now...it seems like once again I'm being challenged...in ways truly out of my control. Funny how it's easy to take things for granted till it's in danger of disappearing...

Reading other people's blogs, hearing other people's words, remind me though, that I'm not alone. Even if the events do happen...and it looks like it will...I still have my own duties. Even if they become more difficult... reminds me of a song from a long time ago.

Here I am Lord by Daniel Schutte

Maybe I'm being called. Maybe I'm needed. Pray that I will hear Him. Pray that I don't lose track. Of myself. Of my people.

...is it I Lord?


Reference: Jackal Ngai, Herman Lam, Doug Lam, Vanessa Li, Ada Wong, Karen Wong, Heidi Wu, Timothy Cheung, Jackson Lin, Auntie Boon

Random - Double take...

Been spending a bit of time looking though more pictures for the Grad Video CD. Although most of the new stuff I got doesn't help me much (mostly have past grads...), it's interesting to once again dive back into this environment...big CCF names has passed by over and over again, names I've started attaching faces to just from this project. People like Alexis. Sofia. Waiki. Jiffy. Andrew Wong. People who (from these pictures anyway) seems to have been around for a long time...Joyce, Jane, JT, Johnny...even a few random shots of PT, Heidi and Auntie Maureen (but it was at KWCAC, so not really CCF...)

It just seems so far removed from me, even though these events only happened last year...or two years ago...or three...funny how much people pass though CCF, yet it still looks so much the same. Random outings. A trip to the Ontario Science Centre. All the retreats. Lifesong.

I guess I've been reflecting on Auntie Maureen's latest words, based around this Sunday's sermon. Quite often we don't know what we're doing...just...waiting. Offering what little we have and just waiting...even a little boy offered his five bread and two fish, before just sitting down and waiting...

I think, when we're fighting a war on multiple fronts, it's inevitable that we lose some battles. As painful as that would be, it's true. You can't defend four or five sides all at once. In our limited sight, we can't really see the full picture, and focus on the one or two pieces that we just lost...instead of thinking of the ten or twenty pieces we can get from that one sacrifice. What are we exactly called to do? Does one ever question the way he walks?

Maybe instead of praying for the ability to run, we must first pray for the power to stand...

Random - Bananna Nation

I was reading about bananas the other day. Did you know it's actually a member of the Herb family? Or that colour change ("bruising") to black is a defensive mechanism? Or that putting it in the fridge for three days will cause it to turn mushy? Okay, so the last fact is from personal experience, but it still tastes okay!

As a group of "Westernized" Chinese people, we often see things differently than "Eastern" Chinese people. I'm sure I don't have to list our hybridness... chances are, if you're reading this, you fall in this category. Because we're influenced like so, our point of views often are not understood by our parents, making families that are tight a bit more rare. So...are we a wall? Or a bridge?

It's not just culture. As a Chinese student in university, I find myself between many worlds. The east and the west. School and the real world. Family and friends. Future and past. Dream and reality. Christians and non-Christians.

Bridge or barrier? Is it pointless trivia? Are we going to change colour? Have you asked yourself why?

Post.Script. Yes I know I mis-spelt Banana. Random attribution to random people. lol.

Random - Hockey

Now that I've finished my PDEng resubmits, Module 4 AND Module 5 stuff, I feel the urge do some celebration. Well. At least something non-work related for a little bit. lol...

There's something interesting about sports. It's one thing seeing it on TV. It's another to see it in person. And a totally different thing when you're on the set...or the ring...or in the pool. That's how things are on the ice. I've been watching hockey ever since being a bandwagon jumper (oh come on. Who in Calgary wasn't?). I've watched a few random CCF practice and games...and now I'm a player on the team. Something about staring at the game from behind a helmet mesh that makes it all so...real...and yet surreal at the same time. In many aspects, hockey is just like serving (not to mention a whole lot of different things in life). How?

1. Hard work: trust me. Hockey is definately those things that looks easier when the pros do it. I have the bruises to prove it. If you don't put time into it, you'll get nothing out of it. "Practice makes perfect"? Not quite. But it definately helps. As an AV Technician, there are definately times when I felt totally lost (ie first encounter with KWCAC's 16 channel sound board) ... but things turned out okay at the end. I didn't make too much mistakes yesterday. lol.

2. Team work: breakaways and scoring doesn't happen that often. Assists and scoring does. Can you imagine a one-on-one hockey match? Some dude would have to play forward, defence and goalie all at the same time! "There's no I in team." (Yes, I realize these are two totally different ideas. -_-)

3. Passion: if you don't like it, you won't enjoy doing it. In sports where pain is unavoidable (well. at my skill level it is anyway) such as snowboarding or hockey, you'll often find that you're asking yourself why you'd put yourself though such a sport. (Need convincing? People in Calgary, go snowboard on COP when the hill is iced over. lol). Since this is fairly straightforward, I'll go onto my next point...

4. Equipment: Skates. Leg guard. Socks. Pants. "Protection". Chest guard. Helmet. Stick. Jersey. Tape (yes tape). Hitting the ice without these equipment is absurd. If you can't equip yourself, find some. Learn. Ask and learn. "Ask and you shall receive."

Ask yourself. Why do you do the things you do? Are you equiped? Are you a team player? Why not? If you're good at what you're doing, are you helping the ones that are not as good on your team? Do you know who they are? Or do you only "know" them?

Random - Empathy

What is tithing? According to the Bible, the people of Israel gave ten percent of what they received back to the priests. This offering became a token of appreciation, from the people to God, for all that is given. When I read that passage earlier this term, I remember thinking to myself, “Hey. 10%. No problem. Money’s just money. God will provide”... yet, when I sat there, staring at my first paycheck ever, those words were the last things on my mind...

I was at a computer store yesterday, with a few friends, checking out computer equipment. Someone needed a set of headphones. A better sound card. A bigger monitor. Me? I was checking out external HDs and DVD burners, which I never ended up getting. But anyways. While I was there, I ran into a co-worker (who lives in Waterloo, so that’s not too weird) and a team-mate from Midnight Sun. Kind of amused, that three our of the four (fourth of course, being studying) aspects of my Waterloo university life can be symbolized to be gathered there. Co-op, Midnight Sun, and CCF. We were all looking for something to supplement (or replace) our current systems. A good example of capitalism at work there.

This flow is always happening. Without it, our very economy will fail. I’m not going to talk about economics or corruption of money or how we shouldn’t have it. The fact that I have food in my fridge or a bed behind me right now is because of this economic exchange. As a student on a budget, we understand that we can’t sit back and criticize the system, especially when we’re part of the system... rather, I’m simply going to point out what I was trying to relate to above.

I think, we often have preconception about things (looking up tithing), before experiencing it (getting the paycheck) and realizing that reality is a little different than what we first expected (more concerned about computer upgrades and saving up money). I think it’s simply another case of thinking before speaking. Experience is a through (if not sometimes painful) teacher, which is what makes empathy such a powerful weapon. I think I’m starting to understand what Auntie Maureen was talking about...

CCF Grad 06 - Words of Johnny Au

Really consider waiting and praying...there is always a purpose for that. There is always a bigger picture. We are kind of like birds in a cage that we cannot see what is outside. There may be a cat outside, waiting to chew us up, but God as the Owner would not let us out, just because He knows and we don’t.

- Johnny Au, in reference to post-grad future

Patience. I have often heard the following quote: Patience is a virtue. Yet, I never hear the same status applied to any of the other virtues. Is it any more important than kindness? Or humility? Or diligence? No. All virtue are important. Yet... Attitude colours any situation. It is amazing what a little bit of patience can achieve. It can prevent devastating anger from smashing. Stop unintended words from cutting. I will even go as far as setting patience = perseverance, and think of the rewards of training (for hockey, lets say), or studying (marks is always a good motivator), or a long and difficult project (dreading upper-year lab reports...) Yes, a little patience can go a long way.

PDEng 15 Module 2 (yes, I know, but isn’t being open-minded patience based as well? Well...I can say that now that I’m actually done this week’s PDEng...anyways...) refers to a “24 hour rule”...if you’re angry at someone, wait a day before giving this person a piece of your mind. Chances are, you’re not mad anymore. In our emotion driven selves, we often act with not enough thought...or without enough of the larger picture. We run ahead of ourselves, believing that we know what we want, and begin to pray and ask for things. When we don’t get it, we simply pray harder. Till one day the event has past and gone. In hindsight we might realize that it probably was a good thing that certain things didn’t happen, even if we wished with all our might that it did at that time.

Often what we want to have, isn’t what we need to have.

- Samuel Chen

God is the Dude that’s holding the box with the picture to the puzzle. We hold one piece. How much does one piece tell us in a 11 thousand piece puzzle? Or 3 million? Or 12 million? Or 32 million? We see a little bit of the picture and we ask for things (and how often do we really know what we're asking for?), but He see the whole thing, and knows the better course of action. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve made mistakes , but He sees them all. If that’s not patience, I don’t know what is.

Indeed, we often don’t know what’s out there. We don’t realize the bigger picture, being stuck in the here and the now. Right now, I think we can split situations where we want something (that will turn out unlike what we expected at the end) into two types. Either we don’t get what we want, and thus shielded from the consequences, or we venture out of our cages, and scramble for the safety of the cage when the cat comes down on us. Which one would you prefer? Neither of them are any cool...hmm... So what can we do? I’ve come to realize, the more of these I write, the more often I get a same answer... pray. Pray. And pray.

Reference: Johnny Au (CCF), Samuel Chen (mCCF), both Graduates of 2006
Seven virtues of Prudentius (also found in Dante’s The Divine Comedy): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_virtues
Stats Canada: Population, 2005: (Waterloo, Alberta, Ontario and Canada, in that order) http://www40.statcan.ca/l01/cst01/demo02.htm?sdi=population%20canada

Random - relationships (general)

What is this world about? There’s a very commonly used quote... No man is an island. Indeed. Everything we do is about relations. Relations with family. With friends. With classmates. With co-workers. Even here, as I sit in front of my computer, half-effortly reading my PDEng book (tempted to write a entry on why PDEng suck, but that’s not insightful, so I won’t ><)...I’m interacting with people. With CCF friends and a classmate on MSN. People’s blogs. Email waiting to be read. Even the songs I’m listening to (just heard one of the grad’s audio clips. lol)... so even sitting here by myself, I’m drenched in the amount of relations I’m connected to...

Just last Friday at CCF, we had a massive prayer event. One of the things we prayed about was people of the campus. I have been told that Christians carry themselves a bit...differently from other people. We have all these stereotypes associated to our names. When I step out of line, I sometimes even have my non-Christian friends question my behavior, even though if someone else did it, no questions would be asked. We consistently forget the other people are watching. Though all these relationship and links, we are watched. By friends and family. Classmates and co-workers. And so we can’t let our guards down. Often we lead by example. Are you a Christian that you would like to follow?

On a slight sidenote...PT said something that stuck in my mind for a while...Growth of a church shouldn’t be measured by the size it actually is...but by the percentage of the people serving in it. Most churches don’t exceed 10%. Then he laid down a challenge...for a 50% church. People of CCF, what do you think? Possible?

Reference: Pastor Timothy Wai, of KWCAC

Generations – Words of Maureen Wu

I think, before I reached university, I’ve taken the advice from adults for granted. Sure, I listened carefully when it came to university advices...or cooking advices (a few of them definitely didn't go over too well...) or what not. But I've definitely turned away what could've been potentially very good advice from too many adults. Parents. Aunts and uncles. Teachers. Even councilors and a youth pastor. I could look back now and regret not heeding more carefully, but I think, we're given other chances to listen, if we really wanted to, and today, I got one of those.

So Mrs Wu, Joanna and Heidi's mom, works in Stratford, and was kind enough to give me a lift back to Stratford. In the 45 minutes or so, she just started asking me a few questions and talking about stuff. I was actually kind of surprised. Most people wouldn't chose to talk "deep" with some random people...especially some kid you just met yesterday. Yet...as soon as I got into the car, she got into the heart of things: service. fellowship. leadership. opportunities.

I think, from that session, I've learned mainly two things from Mrs Wu's words: passion and empathy. Leadership is often mainly one thing: a person or group of people you look up to. Role model. The dude (and dudette) that seems to be able to do everything. They're capable, sure. Often that's all we see. Yet...

She pointed towards passion. Towards dedication. There will be people who can exert 20% and still do better then people who exert all their might, yet without dedication, without drive, you don't put your all into it. Even if you are better, you'll eventually pass it up. The movie Gattaca (awesome movie, btw) comes to mind. You can be taught skills. You can't be taught passion. CCF's size is both a blessing and a curse. If we come together, there's more then enough of us to paint the campus blue. Yet...bystander effect comes at full blast when it comes to service. But unlike words of Elaine, I'll take it from Auntie Maureen's point of view. Perhaps we don't serve because we don't think we're good enough. Or as Joanna put it: "super Christian". I think everyone who's familiar with the committee of last term would know what we're talking about. People like Eric. People like Lue. People like Mike. I've heard the wisdom of these people via Grad video or just other discussions, and each of them would claim they're no different then we are. Maybe they're being modest. Or maybe they're convinced enough in what they do...in their visions and whatnot, for CCF...

God used Moses, not because he was a leader or a super Christian. He used him because Moses came to him. Moses followed where God led him, though sometimes not without some kicking and dragging. What was Auntie Maureen getting at? Passion is contagious. Passion is a core leadership requirement. Skills are nice, but passion...dedication...that will to put your all into service...or teaching...or whatever...she suggested that's far more important then just being able to pwn.

One of the key things about prayer is a reminder to be persistent, and faithful and bold about our prayers. If we recognize God as someone who is all powerful, then we should not be afraid to come to Him with bold and crazy requests, and to trust him he will give us all that is necessary.

-Captain Jane (Huang)

So prayer is the bridge that will give us what we need. Like I've said before, you can learn skills. You can't learn passion.

The second thing I got out of it is empathy. The example she pulled was very familiar. Both Bily and Jon Lo have taken rides with Joanna's parents. Between them two and PT, I got the contacts I needed so that I can go to Waterloo on weekends to do stuff. Yet...how was Bily and Jon able to help me? How did they know to tell me to contact her...or Uncle Keith...or Uncle Joseph? Simple. They went though the same thing I'm going through. They went through Stratford work term too. As a frosh who has seen CCF from both outside in 1A...and inside in 1B...I can understand people who feel intimated by the sheer size CCF can have. I think, Auntie Maureen was saying that often we don't know what we're capable of. We don't know what we have. Skills. Opportunities. Passion. Foresight. Vision. Meh. You don't need it all to make a difference. As long as you have one, the rest will fall into place. Pray about it.

Reference: Mrs Maureen Wu, and Captain Jane Huang