Visiting from Waterloo

No. I really wasn't doing it for your sake. I stood there for my own sake...

I was just thinking of what I heard at Monday Men Cell. It's gotten to be alot unstructured after Justin canned the book. We just discuss random issues and whatnot. Not bad. Had a collision (good one this time...for once), of the occasional "good old days".

So really, I could talk about self-esteem, and not measuring yourself by other people's ruler...actually, until I talked to Alex today, I didn't even realize I was making the same mistake that I blasted Sam for...

So with Justin Liu at MC-Monday and again today with Alex Lam (Joanna and them were visiting Heidi, I guess. A lot of visiting going on these days. Alex tagged along. I had a 2.5hr lunch with him -_- will be work for a long time today...). Some reason, the issue of girls and relationship came up at both times. Even though the 722 sermon has already set firm my ideas, the things that were discussed were of other things...

Waiki said to Alex: No Relationship. Committee demands all the time one can spend on it...always so much to be done I guess. But Alex had a good point. We're only in CCF for so long. We're able to meet with friends who come from all these different places...different faculties...different people...only for so long...and relationships take up so much time (at least, they better be. That girl of yours deserves your time. Though I don't think I'll run into any of those cases in CCF...stupid high school...anyways)...we'll only be in CCF...ACF...university...for so long. When you have to choose, you know (at least, you better be!) you'd choose your significant other instead of CCF. And that's just how it works. To pick up a relationship, CCF must become less in your life. What I think? Issues like boys and girls, relationship and dating? They can come afterwards. But that's just my belief. Just in case dating people harp on me for blasting them. -_-

Don't serve out of a need? Maybe...but what if the need was shown to you by Him? I guess...it's difficult to apply someone else's paradigm to my own life. When I hear other people say "oh, God said this to me" and I'm sitting here, thinking to myself that I have no idea what they're talking about...I too am measuring myself with their ruler. Does God reach out to everyone the same way? Obviously not. Moses heard from Him directly. But Joseph was spoken to via dreams. Mary, through angels. Esther, though her friend. The apostles though Jesus and the Holy Spirit. David, though the prophet Nathan. Saul, through the prophet Samuel. Josiah, though...some other prophet. -_-. Etcetcetc.

But I heard this said the other day. The pressure of liking someone is so much that sometimes you just gotta let it out. Tell the girl. What happens after will happen. But just let it out. Really, I used to believe that. Those who know me well enough from back home would understand. I thought that if I had gotten that "no" from their own lips instead of just in my imagination, I'll be able to move on easier. But isn't that copping out? Arint you just pushing the weight to handle all that onto their shoulders? What did she do? She shouldn't have to handle your emotions. If you like the girl, shouldn't you be looking out for her? How selfish is it, to want to vent out on her, especially if you don't care or want anything to happen out of that? Suck it up. And if it's hard? Well, it better be hard...it just means the feeling is real. And if it's too hard? Well. That's why video games are invented. Be a man.

I've talked about a wide range of stuff with Alex today. And it was good. But I think I'm still as confused as I was when I first sat down with him. Trying to figure out things right now...I think, the biggest thing I can get out of today's talk with Alex is...

Have Faith.
And never cut God from the picture.

Random thoughts:
Need and passion. Truth and Spirit. Sitting together in silence. Worship and praise. Unity. Prayer. Alone and together. People who are dear to me, both in London/Waterloo...and everywhere else.