Reflection at a bus stop

What is home? Funny how complex this four letter word is. Home is...

- Solitude, to think and to reflect, in the quiet rooms of mine
- Rest my head after a long and tiring journey (ie a workday. lol)
- A foundation where I can stand firm against the outside
- Where I can mend my wounds and scars and cry without fear
- A place where I can look back with fond memories
- A place where I can work hard today to get what I need to get done
- A place where I can dream about the promises of tomorrow
- Where friends and family gather...feed, support and pushing each other along; doing silly things and ask senseless questions; do serious things and change someone's world; chill and play and enjoy each others company

- Where I hear the familar annoying click of the living room clock and the roar of the passing-by train in the middle of the night
- A place I gotta keep clean and take out the garbage
- Where it's hot when it should be cold, and cold when it should be hot
- Where there isn't enough water to shower and wash dishes at the same time
- Where I cry and breakdown and no one will see
- A place where I can look back to painful and foolish things I've done
- A place where I rummage through the Words, trying to find some form of defense
- A place where I lie still, in dread of the trials to come
- Where friends and family gather...to scream and argue about senseless things; deal serious damage to each other's hearts and trust; where each slammed door breaks down the walls around; the silence more painful than the noise


What is home? It's a place where everything is exactly the way it is. The positives and the negatives. This is my place. These are my people. I remembered the last time I asked for the world. When was the last time you asked for your home? Calgary. Waterloo. Now, even a little bit of London. This is my place. Unless you push the blocks into position, the buildings will never be built. What's more important than family? And so when you say "brothers and sisters in Christ", how much weight are you putting behind those words that emphasize family? People, places and things come together. And they'll fall apart again, unless we do something about it.

I was watching Clue yesterday. The scenes played out exactly as I remembered the last two times I've seen it. I was playing Frozen Throne earlier today. The dialog was exactly as I had seen before. They're all lock in, never changing, a dynamic "still" image. But as hopeless as home may seem sometimes...it's not a dynamic still. I was on Facebook yesterday and saw Bily had created a UW CCF group. Laughing, I joined the group. The picture was from Winter Retreat last year, which brought even more laughter, as that was a very life-changing Retreat. Some people from that picture have graduated. Many more are leaving this year. But many are still here. And many more came in. How dynamic of a home. It's possible. I believe it must.

When I was in Waterloo for Lifesong, someone asked me if it was good to be home. I smiled and looked around the busy room, with people coming and going, trying to get everything organized. Many I recognized and knew. Many others I didn't. With each face I saw, my mind reminded me of the relationship, trials and successes of them. Each argument and debate. Each cheerful word and shared meal. Each gamebreaker goal and each good-fun joke. Each difficult trial and each confused look. It was good to be away for a while. But it was also good to be home.

Some will choose to run away from home. Others will give it all they've got. There's a phrase I've heard over and over again at ACF...there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian.


"Leonidas required you to stand. I only require you to kneel." - Xerxes, Persian King in 300