Guardian Angel

I find it kind of funny that Enoch blogs about DOTA. I play DOTA once in a while, and I've never considered applying to life the elements of the game that he has. Today he referenced Guardian Angel, the ultimate spell of the Omniknight.

In my own ways, I could relate to what he's saying. I'm sure in the Word somewhere it says "have no favourites." I'll admit it. I'm far from putting those words in action. There's a handful of people I'd try my best to check on. When I look into a crowd, if I don't see my friends, I tend to just sit around on my own. I've even contributed to the cliques once in a while, forgetting how damaging such things are. But it happens.

Perhaps it's more easier for him, since he knows exactly who he wanted to watch over. And he is able to actively do that, with the confines of his limitations against the situation. The best I can do? Offer myself. But *shrugs*...what can I say? Trust isn't something easily earned. If it was...wouldn't be worth as much, I guess.

There has been two things on my mind today. One is the state of myself compared to before. The other is the state of CCF compared to before.

I was reading some of my old journal entries from 2003...4 old years ago. Don't feel like explaining the context, don't want to get into it (I'm pretty sure no one familiar with my Calgary-side history would know of this place...but in case there is, I'm refering to the whole drama in grade 10). All I can really say is...God is good. To be able to bring a completely shattered soul back like that...pretty sweetage. Don't take God lightly...He aint letting you go that easily. Trust me on that one.

As for CCF...yesterday I was just chatting with a few ppl from CCF. Didn't want to get to work and though I try to catch up with a few people. It was alright. Didn't talk to these people for 3 mth, so it was good to hear from them. Though what they did choose to tell me surprised me.

When froshes enter CCF, there's always that concern that they'd get cut out of things. At last count, we've retained about 30% of the froshes that signed with us at some point. Supposely this is typical values. Ya know. Froshes might not feel as fit in and not get support...that's why we break out things like Frosh Cell. Unity among the first years. Exposure to CCF. All that good stuff. Cools.

Heidi said something to me the other day. I should've realized this earlier...basically it had to do with the people who were quiet. The people who are most "okay" usually are not. Enoch reminded me of that too, yesterday. Assume that no one is 100% okay. Yet I was a little taken aback when the people I spoke to...and these weren't new people either. These people I've worshiped with, prayed with and studied with...these people have (and currently are) serving and active throughout the fellowship. Yet they're struggling. It's not the struggling I'm concerned about. We all struggle with crap.

It is the fact they're not being supported. Maybe it's all this academic busyness, taking away from our time to really connect with each other. Maybe it's the sheer size fellowship. Or maybe it's just that everyone is too busy fending for themselves, trying to stand on their own.

I'm reminded of that sprinting stretch. Where you take one leg and push it against your butt. It sounds funny to describe, but all you sprinters should know the one I'm refering to. When I'm warming up, I can typically do that standing up, without any support. I'm good, ready to go. But when I'm cooling down from the 100m...or the treadmill...I can't do that. I'm too out of breath, too tired to perform that stretch without one hand against a wall...a tree...or a shoulder.

So when we're okay, we're good. We can stand on our own. We can battle it out. But when we're tired and sore...weary from it all, how could we hope of standing on one leg?

It doesn't matter if you're a frosh, new into the fellowship...or a fourth year, serving on Committee. If there's one thing you need to remember, it's that you don't have to walk alone.